tashna

im so tired..i was on this forum a while ago before i was evicted from my first rental(not cos of money..but because i was...??bad i guess...which is worse,in a way)
anyways......im going to go to a detox-and im really terriffied ...MABYE I DONT WANT TO GET BETTER!????(but i do....) i cant live this way anymore(most hours of most days)but i dont have that zealous drive for 'recovery' im supposedly meant tro have or my life will continue to deteriorate....i still dont think i can believe in it...i think mabye i dont believe in living...or mabye im so incredibly scared ille fail at 'real life'
has anyone else ever felt like this (and not had to go any lower???)
scared
tash

best

In many ways it is the normal feelings we all have had.
Our track record of the past tells us we may fail.
Seeing others that have been there and found recovery is a nice encouragement that tells us... we you can do it as well.
People recovery every day. Solutions are found every day.
You can do it. The addictions are what tell us that we can't but guess what...
It can be done. Rehab will guide you to answers. Work through it and you can do it.

UncleEarl

Hell, yes, I've felt like you do!

Maybe it isn't "recovery" that you need,since it doesn't seem to be what you are looking for. But trying a bit of sobriety can't be a bad thing, can it?

I'm only six days into my "recovery" after a 25 year drinking career. The deteriorations in my life came slow and unexpectedly. I can guarantee that you'll have more failures at "real life" while intoxicated than while sober. And as for "real life," this is not a rehearsal. Every single moment of your life is real.

You might feel differently about "recovery" after you detox. Best of luck!

leviathon

I did before I detoxed. Felt alot better after. Try it, you'd be surprised what can happen.

Peace Levi

Time2Surrender

The way your feeling is normal for someone in your shoes. Go to the Detox and get better. We will be here when you get back.

CarolD

De tox is a good positive step!
Congratulations and Hugs

BrandiK

I certainly did not have a drive to quit drinking, drinking was my best friend. But I knew I had to.
Detoxing will help. Keep talking until then, then check in when it's through.
You can do this.

gypsytears

Hi Tashna . You said in your post that you're tired, and scared. Those feelings should pass and you will start seeing that things can and will get better. keep posting here if you can... it really helps.