SmileyOne

Not really sure of where to start! I feel like I'm living in a fog and I'm not seeing any lights to help guide me out!

I guess I should start at the beginning.
I'm a single mother of 4 with one beautiful grandson.....the things that keep me going. My two oldest children are out on their own, leaving two at home with my boyfriend and I. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 4 years now, living together for 3. Happy? We were, I think he still thinks we are. The problem:

I found out almost a year ago that his addiction to cocaine has come into our relationship. I guess he's had an addiction to almost everything out there, or at least tried almost everything. When we got together I told him first and foremost that I would NEVER put up with cocaine, etc in our relationship. I told him that the first I discovered I would pack up my kids and myself and leave...................I'M STILL HERE!! I have since found it in the house, most recently on the counter. When I approached him about it, he instantly got mad, turned everything around, blamed me for spying on him, and played the mind games! He's told me that things are going to change, that I deserve better and he wants to be the one to give that to me. But nothing!

Now his drinking has increased, he stays up till wee hours in the morning, either passes out or purposely sleeps on the couch, or is still up when I have to get ready for work. I feel like I'm backed into a corner with nowhere to go! Family support is here, but they have their own lives and of course tell me to get out NOW!! Kind of hard to do. I'm the one supporting the household. He works, but at night and his paycheck isn't much since he is basically just paying for child support. The house we live in is his family house, so of course the kids and I (and our four legged family members) would have to leave.

I guess my problem is: I feel like if we leave, I'm not helping. If we stay, what if the police track him, or whatever, and the kids and I are caught up in all of that. And I wouldn't doubt that if the police were involved that he would say I was doing it too, since his son has already put that in his head (his son happened to be around when I had got done playing with our kittens we had, I have an allergy so I was sneezing alot, blowing my nose alot and sniffling alot).

Sorry I rambled, but I feel like the fog is getting thicker and I need help!
Thank you,
SmileyOne

c'est la vie

You don't owe him anything and since you're not married you don't have any legal mess to deal with. Take the advice of your family members (and of your own self) to GET OUT. In the mean time I would suggest that you post in the Friends and Family forums here at SR so they can give you better or more personal advice of how to set your own boundaries and take good care of yourself and your children.

CarolD

Welcome!

Here is a big time issue..
child endangerment.

You can lose your minor children
over his drug use.

I'd be packing.

Here is a link for you

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...tance-abusers/

Blessings..