cubbie

I am having trouble with the selfish aspect of my problem with alcohol. I know that my mishaps related to alcohol have hurt those around me, but I don't feel like I am a selfish person. In fact, I have altered major plans and sacrificed many things in order to please my parents and keep my family together. I have volunteered with several non profits for almost 15 years. I am also on the Board of Directors for a non-profit. I have given thousands of dollars to charity.

Looking back on my drinking, I noticed that I began drinking sessions with the goal of achieving a buzz or getting drunk. I had a mission to accomplish, and I did not stop until I blacked out or passed out. I am not sure why I had this mentality. If I had never touched alcohol, would I have sought something else? Did I abuse alcohol because it was readily available and it is not socially taboo to imbibe?

I can see the selfishness of my actions in the way I approached alcohol. I would drink heavily without thinking of the consequences and how those consequences would affect my parents and my brother. Is that the type of selfishness that everyone here talks about?

Arura

Being an addict is a selfish act,.....as a mother n Daughter ,...Im sure they would agree...!

Recovery can be a selfish prosess at time's,.....Until YOU get the strength to share what you have learnt along the way,....n slowly get to the place were you can make amned's to the folk you hurt...!

I try my best to rectifie the past,...but it's futile as it's done,...ALL I have is Today n what I do today matter's to more people than just me.....!

It took me a looooooooong time to realize that....!

Dont worrie so,....they WILL understand in the end, Your saving yourself n other's from More pain.....Dont be put back by that part,....It feel's good when you do it...

Only Love.......................................xXx...