Class of August 2016 Support Thread Part 3
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Arizona
Posts: 147
Originally Posted by CajunPrincess 
Just checking in... Happy Saturday!
Welcome Garden Girl, glad you are here. This is a mighty fine team you're joining.
@sloangrace, as Finally said, we want to hear from you whether you picked up or not. We care. Hope you're ok.
On day 13 and haven't had any drinking dreams until the past two nights. I woke up feeling terrible about myself because I thought I went out and got wasted, but it was only a dream thank God. Honestly think it's just the fear of picking up again that instigated it. Glad to be awake now...
Welcome Garden Girl, glad you are here. This is a mighty fine team you're joining.
@sloangrace, as Finally said, we want to hear from you whether you picked up or not. We care. Hope you're ok.
On day 13 and haven't had any drinking dreams until the past two nights. I woke up feeling terrible about myself because I thought I went out and got wasted, but it was only a dream thank God. Honestly think it's just the fear of picking up again that instigated it. Glad to be awake now...
I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I go out tonight but it will only be diet cokes for me, I'm determined.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Inman, sc
Posts: 41
Not sure if I want to start a new thread for this, but did wanted to talk about my last drunken day. I'm work in retail so naturally I get days off in the middle of the week usually. On my one day off I decided to go play golf with a friend, which of course meant it was time to "pack the cooler with some aiming fluid" as usual. Tee off was 10am, figured I'd drink some water until the back nine and crack a beer. Yeah that lasted all of the amount of time it took to load the golf cart and I decided to drink the two beers that wouldn't fit in the cooler while sitting in the parking lot before teeing off. Fast forward 4.5 hours and 10 of the 12 beers are gone with 2 left for the ride home (bad decision as usual) by this point I'm feeling invincible and it's barely 1pm. Time for a shower and some downtime watching tv or something before the wife gets home at 6pm(gotta drink a few more before she gets home) I didn't want to hear about it. Didn't want to hear the concern for my health that I referred to as nagging if she saw me with beer in hand. So 4 hours and another 8-10 (who's counting at this point anyway) go by and it's 5pm, time to get up and get my s*it together before the misses gets home. I actual had the thought that I could act semi sober after that many beers. Wife arrives home, I'm trying to be sociable and ask about her day, she asks how many beers did I have golfing? 4-5 of course. It didn't take long for me to feel guilty bc I knew she saw through my BS instantly. She tried to be nice, caring, oblivious to my state of mind and the more she did that, the worse I felt for letting her down again. The emotions of guilt, denial, sorrow I felt for where I was soon turned into anger and resentment towards bc "she shouldn't judge me" " I'm a grown man and will do what I want, I have control". Needless to say, I ended up starting an argument and being a jacka** to her yet again before passing out. I cannot continue doing this, and I have to take control back, I know I'm ruining my health and my marriage. Just wanted to get this out here. Hope it's not too long , but wanted to talk about it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
Hey A-team!
Had a very nice day with the kids here! Seems like the lack of patience bug has got to me and AV has been louder than usual, think that's my subconscious realising I'm serious about this! Here is my giant post of the day:
@kgirl - glad sobriety is treating you well and congrats for day 20! This is awesome!
@Ooona - very glad you had a peaceful sober night. I am working really hard to be the best I can for my family now, another gift of sobriety.
@Kevin - it's great you made it to the meeting. One day at a time we'll get there!
@capricallia - indeed the self sabotage is crazy. Back when I sobered up a few years ago what made me stop it was music. Actually had it not been for that I'd probably my have got back to coke as well as alcohol. I am hanging on to it big time now. No more sabotaging here!
@nmd - glad your pet is doing better and congrats for day 3!
@NorthernLass - great to have you here, you are doing great!
@Gareth - very good call not drinking! There's bound to be someone here for you, if not look over previous posts and you'll see how good it is to overcome these situations!
@CajunPrincess - glad it was only a dream! I never really had them, wonder if they'll come up at some point.
@bexxed - indeed we need to stay aware that things could change at any minute. A wrong thought that lasts 30 seconds can destroy months of good work. Not happening to the A-team though!
@Gretel - great news!! I also noticed a healthier bank account here, what a waste of money!
@Julia - I m in here for the long term! I am sure that after some long term sobriety and team work some of us will inevitably meet up! I look forward to when that happens! (But yeah, wonder if someone would actually get the image right!)
Welcome to all the Newbies!
Last, but not least: SLOANGRACE, we really want to hear from you, whatever happened last night. Hope you are well.
P
Had a very nice day with the kids here! Seems like the lack of patience bug has got to me and AV has been louder than usual, think that's my subconscious realising I'm serious about this! Here is my giant post of the day:
@kgirl - glad sobriety is treating you well and congrats for day 20! This is awesome!
@Ooona - very glad you had a peaceful sober night. I am working really hard to be the best I can for my family now, another gift of sobriety.
@Kevin - it's great you made it to the meeting. One day at a time we'll get there!
@capricallia - indeed the self sabotage is crazy. Back when I sobered up a few years ago what made me stop it was music. Actually had it not been for that I'd probably my have got back to coke as well as alcohol. I am hanging on to it big time now. No more sabotaging here!
@nmd - glad your pet is doing better and congrats for day 3!
@NorthernLass - great to have you here, you are doing great!
@Gareth - very good call not drinking! There's bound to be someone here for you, if not look over previous posts and you'll see how good it is to overcome these situations!
@CajunPrincess - glad it was only a dream! I never really had them, wonder if they'll come up at some point.
@bexxed - indeed we need to stay aware that things could change at any minute. A wrong thought that lasts 30 seconds can destroy months of good work. Not happening to the A-team though!
@Gretel - great news!! I also noticed a healthier bank account here, what a waste of money!
@Julia - I m in here for the long term! I am sure that after some long term sobriety and team work some of us will inevitably meet up! I look forward to when that happens! (But yeah, wonder if someone would actually get the image right!)
Welcome to all the Newbies!
Last, but not least: SLOANGRACE, we really want to hear from you, whatever happened last night. Hope you are well.
P
Member
Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 79
Bowsky, welcome to our group! Please share as much as you want, there are lots of caring folks in here.
I know how you feel about hiding the drinking, then lying about it, then getting resentful when others can see thru the lies, and getting angry and defensive. I have a really similar story, except it's not a husband or wife, but my mother. I live with her currently because I am saving money to buy a house, and the give and take dynamic is similar.
Read as much as you can here, post often, stay close, and send an S.O.S. if you get a craving. Make a plan, and plan accordingly if you're going to be in a situation around alcohol--always have an escape route too. Personally, what has helped me most in my first month has been reading a lot here, and avoiding people, places and things that may trigger me. It's just easier in the beginning to strengthen your sober muscles that way.
Having plans and all are really good, but it all comes down to commitment at the end of the day.
Something else that helped me a lot, not necessarily to stay sober, because I am doing it for me, but reading threads in the Family and Friends of Alcoholics section opened my eyes a lot to how my addiction affects others.
I know how you feel about hiding the drinking, then lying about it, then getting resentful when others can see thru the lies, and getting angry and defensive. I have a really similar story, except it's not a husband or wife, but my mother. I live with her currently because I am saving money to buy a house, and the give and take dynamic is similar.
Read as much as you can here, post often, stay close, and send an S.O.S. if you get a craving. Make a plan, and plan accordingly if you're going to be in a situation around alcohol--always have an escape route too. Personally, what has helped me most in my first month has been reading a lot here, and avoiding people, places and things that may trigger me. It's just easier in the beginning to strengthen your sober muscles that way.
Having plans and all are really good, but it all comes down to commitment at the end of the day.
Something else that helped me a lot, not necessarily to stay sober, because I am doing it for me, but reading threads in the Family and Friends of Alcoholics section opened my eyes a lot to how my addiction affects others.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
Originally Posted by Trees39
Day 18. My personal best is 103 days. Looking forward to doing it this time.
Crazy you wrote that as I literally thought about it 10 seconds ago!
Mr P
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: here, now.
Posts: 1,236
Originally Posted by Bowski
Not sure if I want to start a new thread for this, but did wanted to talk about my last drunken day. I'm work in retail so naturally I get days off in the middle of the week usually. On my one day off I decided to go play golf with a friend, which of course meant it was time to "pack the cooler with some aiming fluid" as usual. Tee off was 10am, figured I'd drink some water until the back nine and crack a beer. Yeah that lasted all of the amount of time it took to load the golf cart and I decided to drink the two beers that wouldn't fit in the cooler while sitting in the parking lot before teeing off. Fast forward 4.5 hours and 10 of the 12 beers are gone with 2 left for the ride home (bad decision as usual) by this point I'm feeling invincible and it's barely 1pm. Time for a shower and some downtime watching tv or something before the wife gets home at 6pm(gotta drink a few more before she gets home) I didn't want to hear about it. Didn't want to hear the concern for my health that I referred to as nagging if she saw me with beer in hand. So 4 hours and another 8-10 (who's counting at this point anyway) go by and it's 5pm, time to get up and get my s*it together before the misses gets home. I actual had the thought that I could act semi sober after that many beers. Wife arrives home, I'm trying to be sociable and ask about her day, she asks how many beers did I have golfing? 4-5 of course. It didn't take long for me to feel guilty bc I knew she saw through my BS instantly. She tried to be nice, caring, oblivious to my state of mind and the more she did that, the worse I felt for letting her down again. The emotions of guilt, denial, sorrow I felt for where I was soon turned into anger and resentment towards bc "she shouldn't judge me" " I'm a grown man and will do what I want, I have control". Needless to say, I ended up starting an argument and being a jacka** to her yet again before passing out. I cannot continue doing this, and I have to take control back, I know I'm ruining my health and my marriage. Just wanted to get this out here. Hope it's not too long , but wanted to talk about it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by bexxed
Hey Bowski, I'm really thankful for your post. We all have that story and all of those stories are meaningful and I think gaining perspective demands that we not forget or gloss over these stories but learn from them. My story has happened so many times now, what I'm trying to change is what I take from it and how I change my attitude so that I don't go back. reading these stories and seeing what others do and say is so helpful.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 122
I'm not anxious about drinking now, but I am anxious about drinking later. I guess I have to just accept that there's really no control there.
BTW, I always try to remember that everyone is just doing the best they can trying to play the hand life dealt them. It's what makes us all the same. There's no weak or strong, no good or bad. No need to judge. We're all doing the same thing, and it's just our circumstances that are different. That's my philosophy, anyway.
BTW, I always try to remember that everyone is just doing the best they can trying to play the hand life dealt them. It's what makes us all the same. There's no weak or strong, no good or bad. No need to judge. We're all doing the same thing, and it's just our circumstances that are different. That's my philosophy, anyway.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 337
(((A-team))). Hugs to you all. I'm at kind of a low spot right now but working on changing my attitude. Coming here and seeing all your wonderful posts definitely helps. Everybody hang in there. It could always be worse. Three weeks ago at this time I was throwing up from drinking all day then continued drinking throughout the night. That was my last drunk, I hope...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
Hang in there Elicia.
Low points make us stronger once we climb back. You know there's nothing that will change your decision to be sober and become your true self.
You are not alone in this, I am also realising there are things I neglected up to now that need work, emotional work which up to now had been avoided by drinking.
Drinking still is the "easy" choice and my head is constantly reminding me of it, but enough of the easy choice.
I don't "hope" that was your last drunk, I know it!
P
Low points make us stronger once we climb back. You know there's nothing that will change your decision to be sober and become your true self.
You are not alone in this, I am also realising there are things I neglected up to now that need work, emotional work which up to now had been avoided by drinking.
Drinking still is the "easy" choice and my head is constantly reminding me of it, but enough of the easy choice.
I don't "hope" that was your last drunk, I know it!
P
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 337
Originally Posted by MrPL
Hang in there Elicia.
Low points make us stronger once we climb back. You know there's nothing that will change your decision to be sober and become your true self.
You are not alone in this, I am also realising there are things I neglected up to now that need work, emotional work which up to now had been avoided by drinking.
Drinking still is the "easy" choice and my head is constantly reminding me of it, but enough of the easy choice.
I don't "hope" that was your last drunk, I know it!
P
Low points make us stronger once we climb back. You know there's nothing that will change your decision to be sober and become your true self.
You are not alone in this, I am also realising there are things I neglected up to now that need work, emotional work which up to now had been avoided by drinking.
Drinking still is the "easy" choice and my head is constantly reminding me of it, but enough of the easy choice.
I don't "hope" that was your last drunk, I know it!
P
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Posts: 1,025
Probably. Boredom is a b**ch! I was feeling like that yesterday, then I put on a lecture by the Dalai Lama on YouTube! I m not in anyway inclined towards any religion, but the guy is so chilled out that it worked! I took a sit back and decided to chill out myself. Not sure it'll work for you but worth a try!
Hehe.
P
Hehe.
P
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Inman, sc
Posts: 41
Hang in there elicia. I'm only into day 2 and facing a challenge now. Terrible day at work. I'm in retail management so I get to deal with some "fantastic" members of the general population to go along with the employees. I left work absolutely infuriated with ignorance and immediately wanted to stop and buy some beer to cope. Turned on the radio, took the long way home and stopped and bought a San pellegrino to try and chill. It worked for the time being, but thirst is all over me right now. I can do this and so can all of us. Stay strong, you guys weren't kidding about the triggers and mind tricks the body has to get that next drink.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 337
Thanks again, P. Playing games on my phone right now. Working on a little gratitude to change my attitude.
Bowski--so glad you didn't give in. Drinking will only make it worse. Whatever "it" is.
Tree--hang in there! It'll get better...
Bowski--so glad you didn't give in. Drinking will only make it worse. Whatever "it" is.
Tree--hang in there! It'll get better...
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