OldTomato

Sounds lovely Angie.

Angie247

My son just asked me if he's a man then will he still be my baby. I told him no matter how old he gets, he will always be my baby and my love and he gave me a big smile. He was afraid of getting too old and not being my baby anymore but I reassured him. I'm committed to staying sober for this sweet boy and also myself but he's my heart.

gleefan

Well said, Casey. Angie, great job recognizing that you deserve better than that, and blocking your ex's texts!

I'm glad you're enjoying the weekend. You're quite a cook!!

Angie247

About to head to bed. Alex was picked up by his dad so I can work overtime tomorrow. I had not contacted him but he messaged me and said he could pick him up tonight. I miss my baby but I'll pick him up tomorrow. I had unblocked his dad this morning. 6am to 6pm tomorrow. I can do it! . Goodnight.

Dee74

Night Angie

D

CaseyW

Glad you're going to get that overtime, Angie. Sleep well!

Angie247

I don't know why but I'm having major anxiety today. I took something that my doctor prescribed to help but I don't want to be at work. However, I have to be here. I want to get a new job because I've spent 16 years doing the same type of work and I'm burned out. I'm just afraid of not being good enough for something else. With this job I don't have to deal with customers. I'm not sure what to do.

Upward2Enlightenment

I hope your anxiety goes away Angie.

Best wishes

Ipanema

Angie, I think you're doing great and know you need sleep too. Things can become clearer as the sober days build up. You will be able to problem solve easier. Keep letting us know what's going on so you don't hold it all in. I hope each day gets better and better. Best wishes, Ipanama

CaseyW

Sorry your anxiety levels are up, Angie. 16 years is a long time to be at any job. Heck, 16 years is just a year less than the number of years I drank, and that seems like an eternity.

You don't have to make any major decisions today, all you have to do is get through this work day and then head home to your son and Elvis. Let tomorrow take care of itself tomorrow.

gleefan

Angie - Getting sober doesn't mean getting rid of bad days. It just means learning new, healthy ways to deal with bad days. I'll tell you that was one of the hardest things for me!

I did it with the support of other sober people. They helped me realize I could handle what came my way. I know you can, too.

I learned to listen to my feelings, and with experience learning to differentiate between my fight/flight instinct and intuition/higher level thinking.

This morning I was really angry over something at work. I wanted to argue about it with my boss' boss & I struggled to keep it in. But I didn't take action because like Casey said, I don't have to rush into any difficult decisions. Instead I took time to think it through. I decided that being on her radar for arguing with her would not help me meet my goals.

I'm rambling here, but I just wanted to share my support while you do the next right things for yourself.

CaseyW

Good night, Angie! Hope the rest of your day was ok...

Angie247

Hi all. It's 3:25 am and I'm up. A certain little cute cat wanted me to play with him and meowed at me. Couldn't go back to sleep although I hope I will be able to catch another hour before time to get up. I pulled out my tablet and wrote down a little more to help me in my plan. I do know sometimes I'm just in one of my moods, and not really doing anything to help myself get out of it and I'm planning on changing that. I'm depressed about the extra pounds I've gained over the last several years and I'm always tired so at least tomorrow I will get back on the exercise bike and get to moving more. Cut out the fast food several times a week too. When I was doing this before it made me feel better, and they are not really such drastic changes. I have just got to get myself out of this funk and me sitting around waiting for it to change isn't working out. Got to take action. I'm going to be 40 (!) next month and it's time to change some things in my life. So here it is fairly deep thoughts in the middle of the night. Like spongebob said, I'm ready. lol. Haven't had too many thoughts of drinking the last couple nights, so yay for that too. Okay, I'm gonna try for a little more sleep now. Playful Elvis looks to be wanting to take a cat nap again.

CaseyW

That's way more cheerful than I'd probably be if a cat woke me up at three in the morning. Elvis is a lucky guy. I like the additions to your plan, too. Hope you have a great day today!

Angie247

Instead of the peanut m&ms that I was wanting, I got the rold gold pretzels and a vitamin water. It was nice and cool so I ate while taking a walk outside. Haven't slept too great over the past two nights but it's sober sleeping. I'm not walking around with a hangover. I'm sure tonight I will make up for it but I'll have to close my bedroom door to keep mr. Elvis out just for tonight. I need my sleep. So tired but motivated.

CaseyW

I haven't had a cat in a while but I don't remember closed bedroom doors really working all that well as far as keeping them out. I just remember my last cat making lots of noise while one of her front paws was sticking out under the bedroom door searching for a way in.

Glad you're feeling motivated, Angie. Have a great day!

Angie247

Thank you so much, Casey. I have had to close the door on him a couple times when Alex was next to me and he wanted to play with him at bedtime. He did meow for a time and put his paw under the door. I gave it a few minutes and he came back and behaved after that.

I just had curry and rice. It was good but I still want chocolate. Won't be happening though. A nap sounds even better than chocolate though but that won't be happening either, lol. Had to take a Tylenol because I've got that dull ache from being a little sleep deprived but it's better than a hangover headache.

Angie247

I just dropped Alex off at his dad's. I wasn't going to but his dad texted and asked if I was working overtime and I just said that I wasn't and he said that he could take him if I wanted to work it. I won't be working overtime on Thursday. Next week is mandatory overtime and we have to get in 5 hours apiece. So, my son has to be picked up at 9:30 am on Sunday and work opens at 6am for that day so I thought about getting three hours in on that day and then going to pick him up. They don't care how we get the overtime in, just as long as it is done. I do need the money but I don't want to always lose these nights with my son. I'm not going to stress over it right now because I need to go to bed. I don't mean to sound unappreciative because I am so grateful for this job and I need the money. It will all work out. Thought about alcohol tonight but I just let the thought go on by and it went away quickly. Sleep should be AWESOME tonight!! I just had some nighttime tea with lemon, just in case. SO happy to be sober. Thank you all for your support to me!!

CaseyW

Maybe Elvis needs some of that sleepy time tea too, Angie!

Angie247

Lol, Casey!! I told Elvis he had to be a good boy tonight because his mom was tired. He just looked at me and he is up next to the window. I got him a new cat tree today with a couple little toys and I'm hoping that will entertain him tonight. *fingers crossed*