girlxo301

I have a question..My bf has big mood swings and often disappears at times and I can't get ahold of him (always has the excuse that he was helping someone with a job or one of his friends w/ this or that). in fact last night i was at work and he wasn't answering the phone so I called him from my work phone.he answered but as soon as he heard it was me he hung up. then his phone was turned off..I thought he was out w/ another girl. a few hours later he called and said how he was of course.helping someone do something and he answered and his phone went dead. sure..so anyways, he asked me to come over and when I did he was in bed (as usual)..I noticed that his pupils were pinpoint with the lights on. He is always complaining of headaches, backaches, you name it...I also notice sometimes he'll be really into hangin out and wanting sex..then suddenly will just pass out...and when we do have sex he looks at me with this distant gaze..like he's in another world..maybe that's normal..the pinpoint pupils last night really had me wondering if maybe he's been taking something...not sure if there are other reasons someone would have those..any suggestions?

Ngokpa

Her certainly fits the profile of abusing something. I wouldn't expect much out of him until he's ready to deal with it.

girlxo301

Yea..I have mentioned my suspicions once or twice but he get's very angry and defensive..he knows i've had bad experiences with guys in the past being on drugs so he'll just say "just because your other loser bf's were crackheads doesn't mean I am." he'd never admit it and I'm not sure how i'd ever be able to prove it and I do hate to accuse someone of something I am not sure about..the signs are certainly there though (i've had experience dating drug abusers and of course they all denied it).

ghost99

From experience, you will go CRAZY trying to prove it. Even if you caught him red handed, they could look you in the eye and make you believe that you are the one that's crazy.

Go with your intution.

nocellphone

Right now, I'm less concerned about his problem than I am about yours, girlxo...

Could it be time to break the pattern of dating emotionally-unavailable addicts?!? Y'know, one definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results...

Ever considered checking out an Al-Anon meeting?

DaddysGirl

I'm DG and I'm addicted to opiates...(pain killers, benzos,etc.). Coming from an addicts point of view....consider this:

It never mattered how much I loved someone...whether it be my parents, fiancee' or after that ended....later on a boyfriend. My addiction had such a strong hold over my life. It drove me everyday. If my heart was beating and I was breathing then I wanted MY PILLS. It didn't matter that I loved someone. It didn't matter that the people in my life were simply concerned about me and truly loved me back. I just wanted my drugs. And I would do anything, go anywhere to get what I wanted and what I felt my body needed. I would lie through my teeth with a smile on my face. I would pray to God and know in the back of my mind that I would be at my dealer's house shortly. My addiction made me do things that I would normally never do. I am a sweet, loving, caring person when I am thinking straight. But my addiction would not allow me to think straight. Now that I've stepped away from the situation and looked back in...I do not want to be that person anymore and hurt the people I love the most. I want to keep those people around....for I have lost a lot of really good friends to my addiction.

Lying is a taletell sign of addiction and is what my BF HATED most!!!!

I hope none of this happens to you!!!

If you ever need anyone to talk to I will always lend an ear!

I wish you the best!!!! DG

The_Hammer

nocellphone is right. It might sound as if ncp was crass, even a bight cruel. That's love, no criticism. As I read your post I thought the same thing; "THis girl is picking the same kind of guy over and over again. You may not realize that is going on, but look at it honestly after a few Narc-anon meetings and things will reveal themselves as you get healthier.

Jimmy