Taking Myself Out
JUST DO IT!!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Taking Myself Out
Hey Chy and whoever reads this post I am taking myself out of SR I have been told that if you don't log in for a while that you won't be active and then you will be out well that should work. I don't truly believe that I have an impact of people nor do I care, I have not been doing good anyway and I have recieved conformation that I probably should just quit. I hate to do this but I don't fit just like I don't fit in here or anywhere, not at the dope mans, the bar, meetings, or SR. Hope that you all do well find someone else to chair also please, no one ever shows up anymore anyway. Bye
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 104
If you're leaving, just leave. No need for announcements. Unless, of course, it's the attention you are seeking. And then just do what you've been doing, and I'm sure someone will beg you to stay.
It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
Andygirl..be nice.
Lucky, you just made a huge change in your life, your disease right now is feeding off that change. you are lonely and that is what your disease wants you to be. i have been blessed to be sober 10 years (still amazes me) and my disease tries to tell me all the time that I don't fit in places, here at SR, in meetings, with friends, in my marriage....everywhere. Because my disease feeds off of misery not happiness, not contentment.
You have something to offer, everyone coming here has something to offer. Just saying hello to a newcomer is offering something. I don't think you realize you sharing your pain is offering something. Many MANY people come to SR,never register, just read...they are reading everything we write, they are using it in their life. I am sure someone reading about the changes you made in your life was able to make needed changes in their life.
Don't listen to your head that is your disease. You know the saying "our mind is a neighborhood that we should never go into alone".
It is your choice to leave or not, but I think it is a mistake. There have been alot of negative stuff going on around here lately I am not sure why but we cannot play into that. We have to remember that there are negative people everywhere.
One thing about me that might make you smile. My head was telling me for weeks how horrible I was going to look in the dress I had to wear on Sunday when I was a bridesmaid in a wedding. Seriously, I looked ridiculous. But I did not listen to it, I did not let it ruin my day...I hit the dance floor and danced for hours not caring what people thougth of the way I looked or even how I danced. If my husband was busy talking to someone, heck I just joined whoever I wanted on the dance floor cause I wanted to dance
. What I am trying to say is as addicts we are always so concerned what people are thinking/saying about us, that is our ego. When I first got into recovery I thought I was a people pleaser...then I learned I was self centered, the people pleasing was not about the other person it was about me feeling good about myself.
I think I have totally gotten off track here trying to explain to you that your disease is acting out now...I tend to babble alot
I hope you dont' leave cause I need you, lots of people need you hear sharing your experience, strenght, and hope....through the good times and bad. But even more I hope to you don't leave SR becasue that puts you one step closer to letting your disease win...and that breaks my heard.
Lucky, you just made a huge change in your life, your disease right now is feeding off that change. you are lonely and that is what your disease wants you to be. i have been blessed to be sober 10 years (still amazes me) and my disease tries to tell me all the time that I don't fit in places, here at SR, in meetings, with friends, in my marriage....everywhere. Because my disease feeds off of misery not happiness, not contentment.
You have something to offer, everyone coming here has something to offer. Just saying hello to a newcomer is offering something. I don't think you realize you sharing your pain is offering something. Many MANY people come to SR,never register, just read...they are reading everything we write, they are using it in their life. I am sure someone reading about the changes you made in your life was able to make needed changes in their life.
Don't listen to your head that is your disease. You know the saying "our mind is a neighborhood that we should never go into alone".
It is your choice to leave or not, but I think it is a mistake. There have been alot of negative stuff going on around here lately I am not sure why but we cannot play into that. We have to remember that there are negative people everywhere.
One thing about me that might make you smile. My head was telling me for weeks how horrible I was going to look in the dress I had to wear on Sunday when I was a bridesmaid in a wedding. Seriously, I looked ridiculous. But I did not listen to it, I did not let it ruin my day...I hit the dance floor and danced for hours not caring what people thougth of the way I looked or even how I danced. If my husband was busy talking to someone, heck I just joined whoever I wanted on the dance floor cause I wanted to dance
. What I am trying to say is as addicts we are always so concerned what people are thinking/saying about us, that is our ego. When I first got into recovery I thought I was a people pleaser...then I learned I was self centered, the people pleasing was not about the other person it was about me feeling good about myself.I think I have totally gotten off track here trying to explain to you that your disease is acting out now...I tend to babble alot
I hope you dont' leave cause I need you, lots of people need you hear sharing your experience, strenght, and hope....through the good times and bad. But even more I hope to you don't leave SR becasue that puts you one step closer to letting your disease win...and that breaks my heard.
Greatful Sober Biker
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Cottonwood AZ.
Posts: 521
Hey Vic, If you don't log on you won't be taken off of SR. I wasn't on for about a year or so and i wasn't taken off. So why would you think that you would be? I don't know who is telling you these things but he/she is wrong. You have helped people here and what Paulie said that it is your stinking thinking telling you that you don't belong here or anywhere. Just keep posting here and talk to your sponser.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: western canada
Posts: 1,441
Vic...
We always have something to offer... even if it's just a hug or some encouragement ...
My light doesn't burn very bright sometimes...and sometimes... I take wayyyyy more than I give on SR...
but..
even if my light is just a sputtery little flicker... it's still more than some people have...
.. and even if my light is sputtery... it's still a light in the darkness... and maybe... just maybe... someone will see it and it will light their light and then together we will shine even further....
regardless of what SR throws out on any given day...
or what I take or put back in....
this is still a huge place of healing and growth for me... and I'm along for the whole ride... speed bumps .... broken and missing path... et al...
But.. it's not for everyone.
Wishing you the best... and praying for your greatest good... whatever that may be.
We always have something to offer... even if it's just a hug or some encouragement ...
My light doesn't burn very bright sometimes...and sometimes... I take wayyyyy more than I give on SR...
but..
even if my light is just a sputtery little flicker... it's still more than some people have...
.. and even if my light is sputtery... it's still a light in the darkness... and maybe... just maybe... someone will see it and it will light their light and then together we will shine even further....
regardless of what SR throws out on any given day...
or what I take or put back in....
this is still a huge place of healing and growth for me... and I'm along for the whole ride... speed bumps .... broken and missing path... et al...
But.. it's not for everyone.
Wishing you the best... and praying for your greatest good... whatever that may be.
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Yup, Bill is right, it was well over a year between my log in's and I was still here. We'll still be here waiting for you Vic. Sorry you're having a tough time, I know you know isolation is not the right course of action when you are feeling like this, but I also know I can't control what you or anyone else does. I hope you stick around or come back, but most of all I hope you stay clean. You are worth it. Take care.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,660
Wow Andygirl,
How completely nasty!!
Vic,
You know that you are loved here at SR and that you help lots of people. I know the move has been hard for you but you're doing alright. I truly hope you don't leave.
Love, Anna
How completely nasty!!
Vic,
You know that you are loved here at SR and that you help lots of people. I know the move has been hard for you but you're doing alright. I truly hope you don't leave.
Love, Anna
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
(((Vic)))
You are loved, wanted and needed.
Paulie is right...share what's in your head so that others can share their expeinces and we can all learn. Don't run, Vic. There's nothing that cannot be fixed. Know that.
Andy, Vic has been here a very long time, and has shared much of his recovery, helping many. When one of the family is hurting, we don't shoot them here at SR. We support them.
If you stick around long enough, you will see people supporting you just the same way. It has NOTHING to do with attention getting. It has to do with recovery. Because, as you'll see, we are all in need here. Every one of us. And some are sicker than others.
That's why we are here. To help and to get help.
I hope you will learn that and stay to do the same.
Shalom!
You are loved, wanted and needed.
Paulie is right...share what's in your head so that others can share their expeinces and we can all learn. Don't run, Vic. There's nothing that cannot be fixed. Know that.
Andy, Vic has been here a very long time, and has shared much of his recovery, helping many. When one of the family is hurting, we don't shoot them here at SR. We support them.
If you stick around long enough, you will see people supporting you just the same way. It has NOTHING to do with attention getting. It has to do with recovery. Because, as you'll see, we are all in need here. Every one of us. And some are sicker than others.
That's why we are here. To help and to get help.
I hope you will learn that and stay to do the same.
Shalom!
Think Happy Thoughts
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: cHiCaGo iL
Posts: 245
vic, when i first came to sr you were one of the first people to respond to my post, it made an impact on me to know that someone out there cared enough to read what i wrote. i understand the feeling of not fitting in anywhere but the thing is that we all feel that way sometimes and if all of us justs gave up and left there would be no one left. i dont feel like i fit in most of the time and maybe i dont...but theres no way im giving up on myself until the day i die. and you shouldnt either. its a battle between the drug and me and theres no way in hell im letting some chemical get the best of me. come on vic stay strong. afterall what would sr be without our "Just a run in the mill junkie trying to recover!"
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: The Field of Dreams
Posts: 7,249
(((Vic))) I really hope you stay.Ignore ANDYGIRLS comment.Im going to be nice and not respond.You are part of this site.You have posted some really good stuff.Im sorry to here your not doing well.Only more of a reason to stick around.I was here for a long time and not doing well.Look at when I joined.October.I am coming up on 5 months.So,its pretty obvious what went on between Oct and April 19th.Just stick around.Success is failure turned inside out.I have faith in you.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 104
I would say the same thing to someone if they acted like that in a meeting. My tolerance for BS is at an all-time low. I have as much empathy for Vic as anyone, but it's ridiculous to come on here every other week announcing that he's leaving.
But, hey, thanks for the support!
Maybe if I'm on here another year I will have earned some for myself.
But, hey, thanks for the support!
Maybe if I'm on here another year I will have earned some for myself.
It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
Originally Posted by Andygirl
I would say the same thing to someone if they acted like that in a meeting. My tolerance for BS is at an all-time low. I have as much empathy for Vic as anyone, but it's ridiculous to come on here every other week announcing that he's leaving.
But, hey, thanks for the support! Maybe if I'm on here another year I will have earned some for myself.
But, hey, thanks for the support!
Maybe if I'm on here another year I will have earned some for myself.I have been a part of SR for a very long time, and I have thought to myself hundreds of times how cool it would be to be in a meeting with just about everyone here....but not right now. right now I am grateful that I am not in the same town as you to attend the same meetings. Your intolerance for BS or should I say you ego is gonna get you if you don't watch out.
Time has nothing to do with support...you get what you give.
(((Vic))) I know you are scared and I know you are reaching out, and as you can see the majority of us have our hand reaching right back out to you. Please hold on to it, we need YOU and much as you need US.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by Paulie
Andygirl -
I have been a part of SR for a very long time, and I have thought to myself hundreds of times how cool it would be to be in a meeting with just about everyone here....but not right now. right now I am grateful that I am not in the same town as you to attend the same meetings. Your intolerance for BS or should I say you ego is gonna get you if you don't watch out.
I have been a part of SR for a very long time, and I have thought to myself hundreds of times how cool it would be to be in a meeting with just about everyone here....but not right now. right now I am grateful that I am not in the same town as you to attend the same meetings. Your intolerance for BS or should I say you ego is gonna get you if you don't watch out.
I enjoy people who can be frank with each other and that's how we do it around here. It doesn't make us mean people. It doesn't mean we say it rudely, or that we alienate people. I, like many others, don't see the point in coddling people. They either want help or they don't. It's not up to us to convince them.
Meetings Coordinator
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Detroit, Michigan
Posts: 374
wow that is all i can say... we are hear to support one another! not tell them what do to. if vic wants to annouce he is leaving and seeing how he is a chair i think that is the right thing for him to do... and who am i to judge him! do i want him to leave no... but me "beggin" him not to leave will not change his mind he will do what he wants when he wants! i'm just here to support whatever decision he makes and offer my esh also!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: out there...
Posts: 2,653
Well I for one am glad that even though it may be a little overreactive, people get what they need to out in the open and deal with it, before taking their ball and bat and leaving quietly to go sucumb to the horrors of addiction. ( Remember them? remember the desperation of having to kill your buzz to chase more dope, so we wouldn't have to wake up sick. or a suicidal emotional wreck?
I don't wish that on anyone.
I can be just as intolerant, egotistical, smug, bull headed or fill in the ___ wit the character defect of choice, as any of us at the drop of a hat.
My daughter signed on to her messenger one afternoon while my girfriend was onlne and asked her " if the __hole was around". My girlfriend was outraged and asked me why I would let her talk to me that way. I told her "At least she is still talking to me at this point, we can work on the civility later."
I try and remember that when someone at a meeting or here on this board gets dramatic, or a little intolerant, or sanctimonious. I try and remember that at least the lines of communication are still open and an addict may not need die from the horrors of addictiion while they are still reachng out or responding to the plea for help.
I know not everyone is at the same place, or comes from the same educational background, or has incorporated tact into their communication process.
Some of us may be having bad days whether we know enough to admit it or not. Or we might just be tired and a little low on patience.
The beauty of being in recovery is that the steps give us a method for resolving our "stuff" and getting back to being ok with God, ourselves, and others.
what say a round of hugs for everybody .. I'm buying ..
(((((((((((((NA forum @ SR ))))))))))))))
On the way out the door pass the along and maybe we can get all of SR involved in a great big spiritual group hug.
I don't wish that on anyone.
I can be just as intolerant, egotistical, smug, bull headed or fill in the ___ wit the character defect of choice, as any of us at the drop of a hat.
My daughter signed on to her messenger one afternoon while my girfriend was onlne and asked her " if the __hole was around". My girlfriend was outraged and asked me why I would let her talk to me that way. I told her "At least she is still talking to me at this point, we can work on the civility later."
I try and remember that when someone at a meeting or here on this board gets dramatic, or a little intolerant, or sanctimonious. I try and remember that at least the lines of communication are still open and an addict may not need die from the horrors of addictiion while they are still reachng out or responding to the plea for help.
I know not everyone is at the same place, or comes from the same educational background, or has incorporated tact into their communication process.
Some of us may be having bad days whether we know enough to admit it or not. Or we might just be tired and a little low on patience.
The beauty of being in recovery is that the steps give us a method for resolving our "stuff" and getting back to being ok with God, ourselves, and others.
what say a round of hugs for everybody .. I'm buying ..
(((((((((((((NA forum @ SR ))))))))))))))
On the way out the door pass the along and maybe we can get all of SR involved in a great big spiritual group hug.
"The BAND" workshop ROCKS!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 1,502
I'm with AndyGirl on this one. The pattern is here in black and white continuously.
User signs on, get suggestions, doesn't take suggestions, gets po'd, announces publicly that they are leaving, using, relapsing, etc.
Then they stick around to collect all the (((((((hugs)))))) and 'don't go's' and eventually are talked into staying. Recovery is tough work people. Life does get better but sometimes it gets weird and sometime it plain sucks.
Don't get me wrong, I hate relapse and I did it for over two years. If people hadn't welcomed me back at AA, I'd be no doubt dead by now. But this crying and moaning and begging for sympathy just doesn't cut it in my book people.
I feel that SR contributers sometimes offer an 'easier, softer way'. Personally, (and I'm speaking from MY experience), I needed tough love. I needed sponsors who would ask me 'have you had enough PAIN?'. I needed friends in meetings who weren't afraid to let it all hang out.
just my .02. Others will undoubtedly disagree. I do wish you all the best in recovery.
User signs on, get suggestions, doesn't take suggestions, gets po'd, announces publicly that they are leaving, using, relapsing, etc.
Then they stick around to collect all the (((((((hugs)))))) and 'don't go's' and eventually are talked into staying. Recovery is tough work people. Life does get better but sometimes it gets weird and sometime it plain sucks.
Don't get me wrong, I hate relapse and I did it for over two years. If people hadn't welcomed me back at AA, I'd be no doubt dead by now. But this crying and moaning and begging for sympathy just doesn't cut it in my book people.
I feel that SR contributers sometimes offer an 'easier, softer way'. Personally, (and I'm speaking from MY experience), I needed tough love. I needed sponsors who would ask me 'have you had enough PAIN?'. I needed friends in meetings who weren't afraid to let it all hang out.
just my .02. Others will undoubtedly disagree. I do wish you all the best in recovery.
"The BAND" workshop ROCKS!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 1,502
Case in point. NOT COMFY thread. They're actually being so soft and lovey that one poster sarcastically made reference to the Monty Python skit about 'comfy chair and soft cushions' which happens to be the Spanish Inquisition sketch about torturing someone very badly. I Love the irony of it all!
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