nutz

I'm I on the right track ?
To be entirely ready for something includes HALT.
It's time for rest, healing, insights, reflect, and regroup.
I notice if I don't eat right, excercize or rest, I get angry,
my fuse is short and my defects comes out then I get mad
at myself later. I become an A-HOLE which I don't want to be,
but it happened anyways.
I also notice if i do things too fast or get ahead of myself I make
more mistakes. I get disorginize .My tool draw or filing cabinet becomes
a mess.

So is step 6, I should practice to sleep right, eat right, excercize
and leand how to have fun. In a nut shell take a time out ?

sherbear5104

This is a good thread for me, as this is the step I am on. I sat at a table that was discussing this, and someone said that we just have to be ready. We are not perfect, nor will we ever be. We need to strive toward changing these character defects. I still have many, but I work toward changing them, and I am more aware of them now that I've done my 4th and 5th steps. I think HALT is a part of that because it does effect our actions. Good topic, nutz. Thanks

namommy

I had to learn that no matter how bad I wanted to control my defects, or change them, The more entrenched they became. I couldn't fight them, only a loving higher power could remove them.

I also learned that some defects may not go away, or be removed, that is why we ask for the short comings to be removed. Our short comings are the way we act out on our defects. I have a defect thought process, that will always be there. I have learned though that I don't have to act out on those thoughts.

The best advice I ever got, was to not try to fight the character defects yourself, just become entirely ready to have God remove them. Recognize the defect, it's opposite (asset) and ask God to make you the opposite.

nutz

I was talking to my sponor about it.
He pretty much told me the samething about the defects, namommy.
Basicaiclly I was powerless over them.

I'm a bit scared about the 7th. I belive it would be trial by fire.
i don't see how else my defects would get delt with.
Just like using drugs. I only wanted to stop only after
I got to sick and tired of being sick and tired of it.
but even then I couldn't stop on my own will
It would probably be thru practice of not to choose them in
situations that my higher power or life might send my way.
How else would I get experince.lol
I guess appropreate is starting to make more sence with the
opposite(asset) of my defects.

This is why I'm asking about step six.lol
I belive if I practice taking care of myself better, like having
a good night sleep. I wouldn't be as edgy and make better chioces.
Instead of reacting to the first thought or emotion the rush in.

namommy

Nutz,

What about the nights when you just can't get a good night's sleep for whatever reason? You can't save this reservation as an excuse to act out on your defects. If you did, then every time you acted out, you could justify it with "oh well, I'm tired".

Just as with our drug use, we come up with reservations and justifications for our defects.

servicejunkie

I totally agree with alot of what NAmommy said. I have also found that just like the drugs, I was not truly willing to surrender alot of stuff to gods care until I got beat up some and felt some pain from my defects. And that is also true, the best I can hope for with some defects is to be given a choice to act out on them. The more I tried to fight them, the more I noticed I was acting out on them. Also nutz, I can practice taking better care of me all I want, but my attemps are always futile and never yield much results until I surrender to gods care!! Love & Respect, Mike

servicejunkie

my attempts at running my own life have not been very positive. The 6th step is when I stop trying to fix the problem with the problem over and over again. Awareness is a great thing to have and an exellent tool, but there is no substitute for surrender!! If we don't get humble, we will be humiliated. As is my experience with the sixth step. Do not fear the 7th step, it is an awesome and humbling experience to truly know that god can and does do for us what we can't do for ourselves. Somebody shared with me that a defect is like a flat tire, and a shortcoming is like driving on a flat tire. A shortcoming is the acting out on the defect. (In the sixth step we become entirely ready to have god change our flat tires, in the seventh step, we humbly ask him to keep us from getting behind the wheel with a flat tire.) PS- my appologies if I sounded arrogant above, I forgot to ask for gods help with that today. LOL.

nutz

thanks for your insights.

Getting angery is like a drug to me. Sometimes it's like going
into a blackout or I loose all control. Even as it's happening
I know that what i'm doing is wrong, but I go on a ramage.
I've broke almost everything in the house before.
I've even broken serverl r/c planes that took me months to build.
Broke plenty of guitars, even my favorite instrument. The things
I like or love to do in life.
There's plenty more occasions, belive me.

It happens so quick sometimes even after I've pray and ask for
help. I tell myself to let go of it many, many times.
Right after meditation sometimes.

It hurts me so much...god only knows how much it hurts other.
sometime the destructions (inside and outside)is so great.
I don't even know if/how i can even make amens, becuase I've
done it again and again.

Just the other day. I slammed something really hard on a table.
This is just one of my defects.

namommy

I have found that when I try to control my own defects and shortcomings without the help of God, that I go to the extreme in the OPPOSITE direction, and usually end up creating an even worse defect than the original. Now, I am stuck with 2 defects to surrender to my higher power. I like the Nike approach to recovery, Just Do It. Recognize your defects and how unmanagable they make you and just become ready. If you are afraid of losing certain behaviors, (Uncomfortable pain is familiar to all of us), don't think about that. This step isn't about removing them, it's just becoming ready.

godsonmyside

See I try to control my defect of procrastination by telling myself I'll start tomorrow!!lol
Defects are those things we act out on and they seperate us from God. I have been listing my defects and defining them and getting to the core of each one. They are not going away just because I've listed them and I am not using them as an excuse to act out on them because I haven't WORKED on that one yet. Step 6 means to me just what it say, We became ENTIRELY READY to have GOD remove these defects of character. I'm not becoming perfect here, I am becoming aware and Accooutable though.
Good luck with your 6th step.
Todd J.

namommy