Gmoney

Here's the deal - I'm sponsoring a guy who recently revealed to me that he's selling dope. The first thing I asked him was, "why?" I mean, I really can't understand how a guy who claims to have a substantial income - enough to pay his monthly bills and have "disposable income" - would put his freedom, his life or his recovery in jeopardy for money he doesn't need.

I've shared with him my experience: how, in the past, I've tried to hustle and make that "big lick" only to end up relapsing - and it didn't matter that I was selling something I never considered my drug of choice. I shared with him the experience of fellow members that were either robbed and killed or incarcerated when they engaged in drug dealing. He claimed to take heed and disposed of the remaining "17 bags" he had left.

Two days ago, I walk into a meeting only to hear him sharing about how he's at it again. Mind you...I realize that him sharing about it in a meeting is probably a sign that he's willing to change, but my experience has taught me that hustling can be a manifestation of addiction. And just because he's sharing about it doesn't necessarily mean he's ready to surrender completely. Remember, he said he would stop before. (reminds me of all the times I said I'd stop using drugs...only to use again)

After the meeting I tried to convince him that he was in danger. I even tried to impose guilt by asking him how he could call himself "a grateful recovering addict" when he's assisting other addicts to die? Maybe I was wrong for that, but I felt it to be true.

My feelings are kinda up and down about this: I know I can't save him from himself, but I can't help but wonder if there's something more I can say to him to get him turned around. I fear that the old saying about how a monkey can't sell bananas will be proven to be true...again.

G

amandamarie

I believe what you said to him was completely right. He should know what he is doing to people by selling them drugs being he is in recovery. I think the odds are against him staying clean with the type of people drugs bring around, and the fact that he is still willing to be around it shows he still does not get the impact that drugs are making on his life. By bags I assume you mean heroin., which is an awful and addicting drug. Heroin took every thing from me and made me do things I never would have done otherwise. I do not know how long he has been clean, but I wouldn't bet on him staying that way if he is still willing to sell drugs. Not to mention he is putting lives at risk selling people that garbage. I hope you can find a way to convince him to stop before he relapses or even worse kills someone unintentionally by selling them a bad bag.

Gmoney

Thanks amandamarie. He's got almost 6 years clean and selling crack.

amandamarie

Wow. 6 years is a long time to put everything in jeopardy. You would think that he would want to put it all behind him by now.