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Old 08-07-2004, 02:52 PM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Tacoma,WA
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I have Just been told my husband is a Heroin addict...

I am very new to this and very lost and confused.. I love my husband so very much. I realize that only HE can choose or not choose wheather or not to use anymor ebut in the mean time I feel that I am losing control over my life.
I went back to my home town in AZ for a week with my daughter, who is still there thank GOD, but when I returned home my husband picked me up and advised me that we needed to talk. He refused to tell me anymore until we reached our house this is when he told me he loved me and knew that he was loosing me and he did not waht that and that this is why he was telling me.....He was addicted to HEROIN. He was hoping to be off before I returned home and that he has been weening himself off since I left and now is down to only 2 shots aday..
That was foru days ago and he has not had anymore for the last three days I know this because I have been with him every minute of the time. He hasn't even when to the bathroom without the door being left open.
He says that he wants to get off and stay off. I love him with every part of my heart soul and being, but I am not sure how much more of this I cann with stand. He is now very foul mouthed and everything is either in his way or not close enough. i don't even know where to start looking for a group to help me through any of this. All of my family and friends live 1700 miles away in AZ we are in WA state. We have been here for a year and I still don;t know much of the area due to all I have ever done is go to work and come home. My husband is retired due to a back injury he sustained from work. He is home all day or at least I thought he was. What and where do I go from here?????? I want so bad to just get through this with my marriage and life both intact. :06:
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Old 08-07-2004, 03:14 PM   #2 (permalink)
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((((((Confused)))))) Welcome to SoberRecovery. First, take a deep breath - you're in a safe place with people who care and who can relate to what you're going through. Second, please make your way to the Nar-Anon forum, which is the forum for families and friends of addicts. You'll get some wonderful support there from people who are dealing with similar situations. Please be sure to take a read through the "stickied" posts at the top of that forum too - there is a wealth of helpful information there. You don't have to do this alone - in addition to an online support group, there are face to face meetings through Nar-Anon/Al-Anon with real live people who also have an addicted loved one. If you need help finding meetings in your area, please let us know.

Any addict, including your husband, can stop using if they are really ready to do it. It often takes the loss or near-loss of things near and dear to get them to that point. Opiates such as heroin can be difficult to detox from without medical support, but you don't mention any particularly erratic behaviour or psychosis - the mood swings are common and may last for a while before he stablizes. Your husband would be helping himself by reaching out to a support group such as Narcotics Anonymous - I tried to do it alone in the past too and failed, but with the help of NA I've been clean now for just over a year.

Welcome again, Confused - we are listening and we do care.

Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while a great wind is bearing me across the sky.

~Ojibwe saying~
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Old 08-07-2004, 07:26 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Your husband would be helping himself by reaching out to a support group such as Narcotics Anonymous
Very wise words. Only through the fellowship of NA was my addiction arrested... after 20 years of active addiction.
You will be doing yourself a great favor if you become involved in an ANON program.
Welcome to SoberRecovery.
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Old 08-09-2004, 03:09 PM   #4 (permalink)

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Thank you to the both of you, Margo & Omega for respnoding so quickly. He seems o be doing much better today than the first couple of days.
Margo you said that the "lose or the near lose of something near and dear " to them is what someimes what it take to get them to the point of wanting to stop, my husband says that he felt that he was losing me and that he was tired of all the lies but most of all he didn't want to lose me. I asked him if this was the only reason he decided that enough was enough he says that it was the main reason. I adised him that I felt that this was the wrong reason to do this that he should be trying to get clean forhimself and then we could work on ourselves. i know that we have to take everyday on day at a time. But there are things that I need answers to but he hasn't any for me. He says that he has lost days and can't remeber anything from the last day that he shot up. How true would this be?? Is it possible that he has infact lost days and that he can't rember any of it? Or is it possiblle that he just doesn't want to own up for things that he has done and may not want to hurt me any more than he already has? Pleae help? I need to understand.
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Old 08-09-2004, 03:13 PM   #5 (permalink)
the girl can't help it
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I am so amazed that he told you about his addiction.... I consider that a very good sign
nice has a hisssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
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Old 08-09-2004, 05:30 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Smile Good start, but He needs help

It is indeed encouraging that your husband felt comfortable enough to confide in you. And it is good that he is trying to stop. Margo adn Omega have given you good advice. He needs professional help. I was addicted to opiates for over 10 years. It is difficult if not almost impossible to stop on your own. By recognizing addiciton as an illness, understand that medical care is as important to the addict as supervision on insulin is to a diabetic or medication and exercise is to someone recovering from a heart attack. You really can't and shouldn't do it alone. Narcotics anonymous is a place to find safety and support and accountability. Naranon--for family and friends of addicts is much the same and I encourage you to look into it for you.
Relapse is the most common side effect of recovery. It happens. If it does, deal with and go on.
I am so glad you found SR. Know we are here for you anytime you need us.
You and your husband are in my prayers.
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Old 08-10-2004, 05:48 PM   #7 (permalink)

Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Tacoma,WA
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thank you all

Just a quick note to say thank you all for making me feel welcome and for the thoughts of encouragement. My husband and I have talked about going to nar-anon. I feel that I cannot "PUSH" him into going but I will be there to give all the encouragement that I can I maybe wrong about this but I feel that he and only him can make that decision for himself. I however have decided that for me I need to go just so that I may be able to find others in my area that have and are going through the same thing. I am faairly new to the Tacoma area and do not have any family or friends here that I can go and talk to.i think that this will be a good place to start. If anyone knows where I can go here it would be most appreiciated.
I also feel that by just him being able to feel comfortable with me to tell me is great big step in the right direction. Other that this my husband and I have never kept anything from one another even if it may have been hurtful at the time for the other to deal with.
Thank you all again and I will be back more.
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