Waiting

I find my husband's addition to Crystal Meth quite embarassing for me. He apparently has been using for about 3 1/2 years--dumb me didn't catch on until about 6 months ago when he was arrested for posession, sale, and distribution. I told a really close friend of his who said he didn't have a clue. I told some of his family--some who said they suspected. I have not told my family. They never wanted me to marry him anyway because "even though he had a good heart, he would never amount to anything". I was raised a goody goody who never did anything. We are active leaders in out church. Should I swallow my pride and let people know or keep his actions personal and to myself? Everyone has skeltons in their closet, I just don't know if I should open myself up and destroy my husband's reputation or keep it inside. Am I enabling him by keeping it under wraps? If I tell them, should I just make a big announcement next time he doesn't show up? How discreate should I be?

Gabe

Hi Waiting,
I told other people on a "need to know" basis. If there was a legitimate reason for them to need to know about the ex's drinking problem, I told them. If not, I kept it to myself.
Welcome to Sober Recovery. I hope you come join us on the Alanon and Naranon boards.
Gabe

stud0134

well If it is going to cause problems with your family dont tell them At least I wouldnt.I have found that family is important but they dont need to know everything keep private issues to yourself and you will find that your family want have much to complain about.at least that been My experience

bikewench

Hi Waiting...

I had a coke relapse this winter... and I didn't tell anyone... except the people on this board.

I'm with Gabe... you don't have ANY obligation to tell anyone that doesn't need to know. What happens between you and your spouse is between you and him.

ssindi

Welcome to Sober Recovery, I agree with what everyone else said. I would tell them on a need to know basis. You'll need support though so I would suggest going to some NarAnon meetings or Alanon meetings and meeting other people. By the way, My name is Cindy and I am an addict of rx drugs. It took me a long time to admit that.

There is such a joy in the fellowship that suffer like you do so I told my sister last weekend that I was in NA and now I kind of regret it. My family has always been judgemental of me and now I fear it will make them even more judgmental. Oh well, what's done is done. I was just so proud and happy about it.