NEW HERE and WANTING 2 SHARE
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: London, United Kindom
Posts: 9
NEW HERE and WANTING 2 SHARE
Hi there im new here my name is pink for short.
I have also posted on the newcomers board as i havent got the hang of the site yet, so sorry bout that, neway here it goes,
Well this site got recommended to me, and i decided to say hi and share my story.
Well it started as most stories do, ya know 14 yrs of age and wanting a super cool experience in life, i decided to pick up, not knowing how it was gonna end, by the age of 16 i had done everything and was starting to begin my journey on the heroin and coke path, commonly known as speedballs.
Neway when i turned 17 i moved to London U.K, there i stayed clean of H for 4 months unitl one day i approached this punk and asked where i could score, he said sure and took me to his flat, this is when i realised trainspotting was a reality, dog **** on the bed, stuff everywhere and body lice, well that day was the begining of a nasty rolecoaster ride, i started using everyday, i theived from my mom and b-f until oneday he said to me he was gonna leave me if i didnt quit, so unwillingly i went and got on a methadone rapid detox script, this didnt last very long and i thought screw that, but unbeknowns to my b-f, he thought i was clean, well that was nearly 4 yrs ago now, he still likes to believe that im physically clean altho' im sure he knows wots up.
I started a job and was doing really well until my coke habit soared up again and i started theiving from the company, needless to say they found me out and got rid of me due to gross misconduct, even when i had nothin else to say i denied it, as any addict would, when i look at it now i realise that it was a good thing as my speedball habit was growing at some rapid rate i just couldnt keep up with.
A few weeks ago i had my 1st OD, my b-f found me on the floor-out of it,he couldnt wake me up so he threw water on my face, i lost 3-4 days i was very out of it, after this i have realised that a part of me was happy at the thought of not wakin up, i realised i am not afraid of dieing from the needle.
I have been attending N.A meetings, during the last 3 months i havnt been and 2day i went again, i now realise i cant try and get clean without N.A and all recovering addicts.
I have lost so much and am still in heavy amounts of pain and shame and im not sure wot i have to gain from a sober life, i do feel a heavy lack of hope at times, specially when i think of people i have lost , i just wanna be with them again free from all this torment my body puts me thro'.
Neway i hope i havent blabbed to much, PLz if there is anyone who has been in a similar place to me and has come out the other end, can u share ure hope and inspiration with me coz im lackin at moment.
Thanx to all..
sending
peace,luv,light,unity and respect
from
Pink
I have also posted on the newcomers board as i havent got the hang of the site yet, so sorry bout that, neway here it goes,
Well this site got recommended to me, and i decided to say hi and share my story.
Well it started as most stories do, ya know 14 yrs of age and wanting a super cool experience in life, i decided to pick up, not knowing how it was gonna end, by the age of 16 i had done everything and was starting to begin my journey on the heroin and coke path, commonly known as speedballs.
Neway when i turned 17 i moved to London U.K, there i stayed clean of H for 4 months unitl one day i approached this punk and asked where i could score, he said sure and took me to his flat, this is when i realised trainspotting was a reality, dog **** on the bed, stuff everywhere and body lice, well that day was the begining of a nasty rolecoaster ride, i started using everyday, i theived from my mom and b-f until oneday he said to me he was gonna leave me if i didnt quit, so unwillingly i went and got on a methadone rapid detox script, this didnt last very long and i thought screw that, but unbeknowns to my b-f, he thought i was clean, well that was nearly 4 yrs ago now, he still likes to believe that im physically clean altho' im sure he knows wots up.
I started a job and was doing really well until my coke habit soared up again and i started theiving from the company, needless to say they found me out and got rid of me due to gross misconduct, even when i had nothin else to say i denied it, as any addict would, when i look at it now i realise that it was a good thing as my speedball habit was growing at some rapid rate i just couldnt keep up with.
A few weeks ago i had my 1st OD, my b-f found me on the floor-out of it,he couldnt wake me up so he threw water on my face, i lost 3-4 days i was very out of it, after this i have realised that a part of me was happy at the thought of not wakin up, i realised i am not afraid of dieing from the needle.
I have been attending N.A meetings, during the last 3 months i havnt been and 2day i went again, i now realise i cant try and get clean without N.A and all recovering addicts.
I have lost so much and am still in heavy amounts of pain and shame and im not sure wot i have to gain from a sober life, i do feel a heavy lack of hope at times, specially when i think of people i have lost , i just wanna be with them again free from all this torment my body puts me thro'.
Neway i hope i havent blabbed to much, PLz if there is anyone who has been in a similar place to me and has come out the other end, can u share ure hope and inspiration with me coz im lackin at moment.
Thanx to all..
sending
peace,luv,light,unity and respect
from
Pink
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: With Good Spirit
Posts: 378
Pink, WELCOME..I am thinking that this should be over at the narcotics anonymous threads..but I know the mods will come along to help.....
Glad you found SoberRecovery!!!!!
God Bless!!!!
HOPE2055
Glad you found SoberRecovery!!!!!
God Bless!!!!
HOPE2055
Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia
Posts: 1,714
Welcome (((((((Pink!))))))))
Just keep doing the next right thing and it will all fall into place. Go to your meetings, work the steps (which will help you to deal with all the crap you're feeling right now), and keep the faith - it does get better.
Keep coming back!
Hugs!
Just keep doing the next right thing and it will all fall into place. Go to your meetings, work the steps (which will help you to deal with all the crap you're feeling right now), and keep the faith - it does get better.
Keep coming back!
Hugs!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: London, United Kindom
Posts: 9
Hi there guyz,
thanx so much for the warm welcome,
i shall drop in 2morrow and say hi,
it is real late/early and i need some much needed overdue sleep,
Till later
peace,luv and bright light
pink
thanx so much for the warm welcome,
i shall drop in 2morrow and say hi,
it is real late/early and i need some much needed overdue sleep,
Till later
peace,luv and bright light
pink
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: east coast
Posts: 2,440
Welcome Pink,
This is such a great place. Keep your head up and just don't pick up that first one. Glad to hear that you are familiar with NA. It is a great fellowship, and through them I have found a new way of life.
Sherry
This is such a great place. Keep your head up and just don't pick up that first one. Glad to hear that you are familiar with NA. It is a great fellowship, and through them I have found a new way of life.
Sherry
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