Is this just a bad experience?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 333
Is this just a bad experience?
Had someone from NA at my place of work recently to talk about what they do etc..Anyway, was very open minded about this until they said something along the lines of 'well of course, no-one in this room (employees, including me!) could know what it's like not to be able to drink normally' WTF? How dare they make such an assumption? Sorry but that has coloured my mind against the organisation sadly, which is a shame. I may have just found the 'wrong' types, but so far, everyone I have come across from with AA or NA has been incredibly judgmental, very 'memememe' and generally not very respectful of anyone they feel hasn't had their experiences! Is this bad luck on my part?
Women Do Recover!
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: So Cal/SE TX
Posts: 210
Funny doesn't offend me - however, I do not know what it is like to drink normally, I am an addict and never have used anything normally - anything, not drugs, not drinking, not food, not men, not women, not shopping - I am or have been obsessive about everything I do.
Perhaps your mind (disease) is trying keep you from the rooms of the 12 step fellowship.
How long have you been going to meetings? If your not happy at one go to another and keep going to another and another until you find the one that fits you.
'well of course, no-one in this room (employees, including me!) could know what it's like not to be able to drink normally'
Perhaps your mind (disease) is trying keep you from the rooms of the 12 step fellowship.
How long have you been going to meetings? If your not happy at one go to another and keep going to another and another until you find the one that fits you.
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
Are you able to speak to this person one-on-one? That would be the best way to deal with your perception of the situation. It may even be an opportunity for you to learn something new that could help you stay clean!
What i have found very helpful, is to keep my heart and mind free from resentments. Perhaps you could make a list of how you have received help from either fellowship and the times you did not receive the help you asked for?
What i have found very helpful, is to keep my heart and mind free from resentments. Perhaps you could make a list of how you have received help from either fellowship and the times you did not receive the help you asked for?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 333
Maybe I explained incorrectly. I was at work. I work with addicts, alcoholics and homeless people. This NA person made a sweeping statement that 'no-one in this room' (ie: myself and my colleagues) could know how it feels to have a substance problem. It offended me. I am a recovering alcoholic who used to have an amphetamine addiction. Personally, I have dealt with this alone and with my family. I wish to have no problem whatsoever with NA AA any A in fact, but when all I encounter is arrogance and an apparent belief that it's their way or no way, it worries me. Was enquiring as to whether I have just had bad experiences with members. Hope that is clearer!
Evolving Addict
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York State
Posts: 3,067
For starters,
I can't imagine anyone from NA going to a workplace to speak on behalf of NA unless they're doing service work for Public Information. Members who do Public Information service are "supposed" to be made familiar with what to say and what not to say - and they aren't supposed to go to facilities alone. If this person wasn't a member of PI and went on his own, what needs to be understood is that no individual member represents NA. They don't have the right or the authority.
Secondly, "sweeping generalizations" or personal opinions of individual members are hardly ever (I want to say never) the opinions or views of Narcotics Anonymous. Yet, I can understand how someone could jump to conclusions when speaking to a "supposedly" non-addict workforce. I mean, how was he to know? And, in all honesty, he was totally entitled to his opinion (although he should've kept it to himself). I would've saw his words simply as an honest mistake - instead of becoming offended, like, "Can't he see me?" I certainly wouldn't have taken his position as being disrespectful.
As a newcomer, I was overly sensitive and often felt that everything people said was aimed at me. Through step work, I found that my perceptions were warped and that I suffered from total self-centeredness. I truly believed that I should always be recognized and never disregarded. Today I know that I'm not as important as I thought I was, and most often, the flaws I recognize in others are usually the same defects of my character. If almost everyone we meet is judgmental, aren't we also judging them to come to this conclusion? Self-centeredness is the core of our disease.
The program teaches us that it is always better to understand than it is to be understood.
I can't imagine anyone from NA going to a workplace to speak on behalf of NA unless they're doing service work for Public Information. Members who do Public Information service are "supposed" to be made familiar with what to say and what not to say - and they aren't supposed to go to facilities alone. If this person wasn't a member of PI and went on his own, what needs to be understood is that no individual member represents NA. They don't have the right or the authority.
Secondly, "sweeping generalizations" or personal opinions of individual members are hardly ever (I want to say never) the opinions or views of Narcotics Anonymous. Yet, I can understand how someone could jump to conclusions when speaking to a "supposedly" non-addict workforce. I mean, how was he to know? And, in all honesty, he was totally entitled to his opinion (although he should've kept it to himself). I would've saw his words simply as an honest mistake - instead of becoming offended, like, "Can't he see me?" I certainly wouldn't have taken his position as being disrespectful.
As a newcomer, I was overly sensitive and often felt that everything people said was aimed at me. Through step work, I found that my perceptions were warped and that I suffered from total self-centeredness. I truly believed that I should always be recognized and never disregarded. Today I know that I'm not as important as I thought I was, and most often, the flaws I recognize in others are usually the same defects of my character. If almost everyone we meet is judgmental, aren't we also judging them to come to this conclusion? Self-centeredness is the core of our disease.
The program teaches us that it is always better to understand than it is to be understood.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 333
They weren't alone, there were two of them. We also had AA a few weeks ago, the point of these visits being for us to point clients to the services if we were asked. I wasn't thinking 'hey can't you see me', I just found it arrogant for someone to make an assumption. Why would we be a 'supposedly non addict workforce' though - can't ex addicts do this kind of work??!!
I hope I'm not coming across in an offensive way. I have no wish to do so, nor do I want to make any kind of judgement about NA, I simply wanted to ask about a behviour I found rather surprising.
I hope I'm not coming across in an offensive way. I have no wish to do so, nor do I want to make any kind of judgement about NA, I simply wanted to ask about a behviour I found rather surprising.
Evolving Addict
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: New York State
Posts: 3,067
Originally Posted by Coolmummy 
Maybe I explained incorrectly. I was at work. I work with addicts, alcoholics and homeless people. This NA person made a sweeping statement that 'no-one in this room' (ie: myself and my colleagues) could know how it feels to have a substance problem. It offended me. I am a recovering alcoholic who used to have an amphetamine addiction. Personally, I have dealt with this alone and with my family. I wish to have no problem whatsoever with NA AA any A in fact, but when all I encounter is arrogance and an apparent belief that it's their way or no way, it worries me. Was enquiring as to whether I have just had bad experiences with members. Hope that is clearer!
As a NA member who has been involved in service for many years, it is my view that the person who spoke was insane. LOL!!
I mean, he had to know that his audience probably included people in recovery. In my city, many of the counselors and assistants in facilities where treatment and services are provided are, in fact, members of one fellowship or another. It is also my belief that this person had not been properly trained to give a Public Information Orientation. If he was speaking to the addicts at the facility, he may have been chosen as a speaker for H&I (Hospitals & Institutions) - but that still makes no sense because addicts know powerlessness and unmanageability.
Yep...you may just have bad luck. We addicts are a varied bunch.
Here's a tip: As a worker at this facility, you can request to speak with the subcommittee chair and voice your concerns. This can help, not only the fellowship, but the facilities as well by letting them know that their representatives require additional training.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
I've heard people say stuff like that before.
I heard someone say, "You haven't known a true bottom until you have a bottom like mine..."
I've been told I don't know 'true' addiction until I experienced what they experienced.
Coolmummy - take it all in stride, be grateful of your own recovery, and lastly - agree with anyone who makes such outlandish statements - they need the comfort of your approval.
Do them a favor and build up their self-esteem. It doesn't hurt at all to do so.
Just my opinion.
I heard someone say, "You haven't known a true bottom until you have a bottom like mine..."
I've been told I don't know 'true' addiction until I experienced what they experienced.
Coolmummy - take it all in stride, be grateful of your own recovery, and lastly - agree with anyone who makes such outlandish statements - they need the comfort of your approval.
Do them a favor and build up their self-esteem. It doesn't hurt at all to do so.
Just my opinion.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: md
Posts: 3,042
Coolmummy...Here's how sick I am:
If I was in the audience (and in my profession, I'm a "helper" of addicts at times, also) I would have been danged proud that I was passing for normal...lol...
I'm still so sick!!!
Love,
KJ
If I was in the audience (and in my profession, I'm a "helper" of addicts at times, also) I would have been danged proud that I was passing for normal...lol...
I'm still so sick!!!
Love,
KJ
It is what it is!!!
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Sobriety
Posts: 5,767
I just found it arrogant for someone to make an assumption.
As was already said, say a prayer for that person, and in your work whatever that may be, just be sure that the people listening understand the meaning of the message, not the opinion of the messenger.
And good for you for asking question.
*Grateful*
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
I also find it strange only because of stats. I mean I don't necessarily know about stats as to how many are in recovery, but I know that at any given time, if I am in a room with other people besides me there is most likely going to be people in that room that have either abused drugs, alcohol, or been addicted or in recovery or white knucking it. I mean that is just life. The longer I am around the longer I find out that I am just not that unique.
Women Do Recover!
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: So Cal/SE TX
Posts: 210
I think I get this... it was a PI presentation to your facility and he was trying to suggest that they "NA" has some solutions for them that you don't because "'no-one in this room' could know how it feels to have a substance problem."
Yeah that was pretty stupid. What it shows is whomever your area Public Information (PI) Committee (and hopefully thats who sent them not just some member of the fellowship took it upon himself to educate you guys) was not properly trained in PI.
Sorry to hear that... If you go to local meetings, I too, would talk to my area PI Chair about the experience that you had at your facility to make sure that they don't send those guys out again without proper training.
Yeah that was pretty stupid. What it shows is whomever your area Public Information (PI) Committee (and hopefully thats who sent them not just some member of the fellowship took it upon himself to educate you guys) was not properly trained in PI.
Sorry to hear that... If you go to local meetings, I too, would talk to my area PI Chair about the experience that you had at your facility to make sure that they don't send those guys out again without proper training.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,486
NA has guidelines and policies for Public Information committees. I agree with checking to see if they were indeed from a qualified committee effort. You would be doing many addicts a great service by doing this.
Peace,
Missy
Peace,
Missy
Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Oxnard (The Nard), CA, USA.
Posts: 14,287
I've come to understand that there some people in NA/AA that for all outward appearances don't work the program or any program for that matter. Even some other people that do work the program or other addiction treatment programs, they still have a ways to go...like myself. Long patterns of low functioning behavior through years of drug abuse can take some time to change. For myself I need to be tolerant of others and just focus on my reaction to such people because real change begins at home.
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