shutterbug

Are You Highly Sensitive?
by Jenna Avery



Do you often feel overwhelmed by your environment or the people around you? Has anyone ever called you shy or worse: too sensitive? Do you care deeply about EVERYTHING? You may be a Highly Sensitive Soul a person of deep empathy and high intensity, with powerful intuition, awareness, and intelligence.

Being Highly Sensitive, you have a uniquely perceptive sensory system. You are therefore more sensitive to emotions, energy, environmental conditions such as lighting or sound, other people, excitement, and stress. As a result of constant stimuli, you may feel easily overwhelmed or unable to cope. Things can be particularly confusing when others seem unperturbed by the same experiences. For example, your friends might be able to shop all day, go out to dinner, and then head to a loud party. For you, that would be unbearable.

Research psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person, has studied high sensitivity extensively. Her research shows that being sensitive is a personality temperament or trait, one usually inherited. According to Dr. Aron, up to 20% of the population is Highly Sensitive.

How To Tell If You Are Highly Sensitive
Being Highly Sensitive comes with a number of gifts, as well as challenges. See if any of these Highly Sensitive qualities resonate strongly with you.

1. You are deeply affected by all aspects of your life. As a Sensitive Soul, you have great emotional passion, intensity, and depth. You may have been told that your emotions are too much. You are sensitive, caring, and easily affected by the energy and emotions of others. These qualities make it easy to lose touch with your needs and desires.

2. You have heightened perceptive skills. A Sensitive Soul is intuitive, highly aware, and keenly observant of the subtleties of your environment, including energy, light, noise, smell, texture, and temperature. You may also be empathic or even psychic. Your perceptive skills operate in the physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual realms. You tie together things you see into complex and original concepts. This makes you a visionary.

3. You have a lower tolerance for stimulation than others. Because you receive so much information from your surroundings, your threshold for what's too much is significantly lower than for those around you. This means: a) You may be seen as shy or timid; and b) You may feel uncomfortably dissimilar to others because you respond so differently to stimulation.

4. You are highly conscientious and thorough in all your undertakings. A Sensitive Soul makes a great employee. You concentrate intensely and process multi-source information. However, you require privacy, uninterrupted time, and little or no pressure in order to do your best work.

5. You have a strong relationship with aesthetics and art. As a Highly Sensitive Soul, you have a passion for beauty, art, and aesthetics. You may be highly artistic and creative yourself. You easily create beauty and comfort. Seeing things out of alignment can actually be physically or psychically distressing.

6. Your inner life is just as intriguing and inspiring as your outer life. You likely have a rich, complex inner life and are highly imaginative. You may find it challenging to connect to real world priorities and realities.

7. You absolutely require private time alone in order to feel replenished. Up to 70% of Highly Sensitive Souls are introverted. But even extroverted sensitives need downtime to rejuvenate, often in a darkened, quiet room.

8. You have a strong spiritual connection and depth. If you are Highly Sensitive, you experience a profound spiritual connection with the divine and/or spiritual realm. You see a lot in what appears common. Because of this you may feel impatient with the truly mundane.

Learning To Thrive: What You Need
Learning to thrive as a Highly Sensitive Soul presents challenges. If you're sensitive, you have likely accumulated years of training in trying overcome the trait because you don't fit in with society. And yet being Highly Sensitive is a vital part of you.

A first step toward thriving as a Sensitive Soul is to understand and accept your trait. Hear this now: There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are just different. As one of my clients says, being Highly Sensitive is both a gift and a responsibility.

Sensitive Souls require regular self-care, meaningful work, and supportive relationships. Working with a sensitive coach or therapist who helps you tune into your own magnificent inner guidance system your sensitivity is a powerful means of support.

Additionally, there are books, websites, web-based communities, and teleconference gatherings on the subject. Connecting with like-minded souls is often deeply healing for sensitive persons.

As you begin to manage your life in a way that truly works for you, you will trust the power and gift of your sensitivity, and be inspired to share your much-needed wisdom with the world.


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Jenna Avery, Certified Life Coach, is the Life Coach for Sensitive Souls. It is her purpose and vision to support Highly Sensitive Souls to find their power and to change the world with their wisdom, beauty, and depth. She offers individual and group coaching for Highly Sensitive Souls, free monthly TeleGatherings, and TeleClasses, and other events specifically designed to support sensitive beings to find their voice and share their gifts with the world. For details, please visit www.highlysensitivesouls.com or call (510) 528-1696.
Last modified: March 12, 2004
information copied from www.the-bright-side.org

gelfling

passing this information on to my son. Thanks bunches Shutter!!!

Bozo

Number 4 is 100% correct for me.
Mike

Don W

Thanks shutterbug, I think this is a subject that has ruled my life and actions for years. I relate it to me having thin skin. The smallest and meaningless statement can bring me to my emotional knees. I can also trace this to childhood. The smallest mistake or error in judgement would trigger not only a beating but, removal of anything I liked. I swear I was allowed to join things so, he would have something to take away. Little league, boy scouts anything I'd get good at. When he found out II started to like school he took me out. In the 10th grade he decided and made it clear that I was to stupid to be in school and just wasting the teachers time. He took me out and made me work in the family business. After 2 years, the draft was still here, I had to go into the Navy. I remember him being upset because I was able totake and pass my GED without study or refreshing. He told me, " They must have felt sorry for you, and passed you." Anyway, I wouldn't dare be me or have an opinion that was opposite of anyone. Even now, if I post things about me feelings, at times I go back expecting you all to hate me. Example, I'd be in a bar. Sitting next to me I let someone know I was a Red Sox fan. He' set me back and say he was a Yankee Fan. Right away I'd feel that I offened him. I'd start, even though I hated the Yankees, well they aren't that bad. You know some of the players I like. By the end of the night I was a full fledged Yankee fan to keep him from not liking me. Then later on way home I'd berate myself for not having nerve to speak my mind. Even on some of the boards here. If I mention about AA helping me, and someone chimes in the AA sticks and his program is better, I used to get devistated. Like I did something wrong. "Why did I mention I liked AA?" Now, this person dosen't like me. What if others agree with him? This is why we have to be very careful about degrading anothers recovery choice. Anyways, shutterbug and everyone else. I have to thank you for comming up with such great food for thought. I'd also like to say how proud and thankful for you all being so open about what bothers you. So many things inside me would have remained iside me without your candor. Right now there is something bad happening in my family that relates to many things we've talked about. I feel bad sometimes for being in treatment,but, there are other kids in the family that didn't seek treatment. Hard to belive but, as bad as my father was and as much as we hated him. To different degrees in our lives we bacame him. I have a brother that was treated horrible by him. Due to a head injury he had some mental issues. My father called him and forced us to call him names. For years I hated myself for allowing my father to make me call him, " Mental Case" etc. I even told him I was sorry. He said don't worry, he forgot about that years ago and it no longer bothers him. Well, he didn't and isn't over it. My mother is in hospital and he is causing alot of problems. I feel like myself, he was ,is? angry at my mother for not taking steps to protect us. I understand now that she had no power in those days. He is not at that point. I'll stop now, I don't want to hijack shutterbugs post with my problems. I'm going to post later on a different thread. My mother is 91 and very ill and I'm not prepaired to lose her. I thank God, that she has me sober to be with her. My sobriety date is her birthday. I'm sorry, I can't stop. my heart and mind is full of so much hope,pain,fear and sadness I feel I could burst. This is how I felt as a boy, and she couldn't protect me. Now, is my chance to protect her from those that still live as my father. I talked to her and she is blind, can't walk and afraid that my brother will harm her. I've got to stop. I promise to check in later, I have to because I need you all to help me through this. Sorry shutterbug for running off here.

splendra

I too am a sensetive type. However I have had to toughen up considerably cause I just cannot afford to let emotions overtake me and hold me back. I can sense stuff that used to scare the heck out of me that now I know how to protect myself from.

Being a single mom helped me alot to stop taking everything so personally. I felt like I just had to find ways to help me be able to face the world on a daily basis without fear of being hurt. I have learned there is a lot of difference in people who are just plain mean and people who speak their truth even if what they tell me makes me look at something I am doing in a differnt way and I might feel offended or hurt. I realize if it is true that it can hurt alot and often times there is a festering wound underneathe the dirty dressing that I am refusing to look at and I can keep on covering it or let it hit the air and get well...I am glad that I am not afraid to look at my wounds anymore...

My sister is like that too and poor dear she can hardly make it out of her room or have a conversation without getting all upset. She knows I understand but, only she can pull herself up I suppose since she refuses any help....

KatieRose

thanks for the info

KatieRose

shutterbug

Meeee Toooo Don!!

Don...i'd sure like to whoop your dad upside his head and then shave a mohawk on him!!!!!! What a creep

I'm glad you "had" to go into the Navy, because it seems like that couldn't have been worse than being around him? right?

And he was just jealous of you passing your GED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He had to put a teenager down to feel good about himself....that's how pathetic HE was. That's him...NOT you!!!!!

Sorry if i'm a little over-the-top about speaking about your dad this way, but parents who say things like that just get my gander up!


Don...you can be you NOW!! You can have your own opinions HERE!! That's what i love about this little corner of SR that we have here....because it IS a place where each of us are free to be ourselves!!!!!!!! And it's so awsome to realize that not only are you in a safe environment, but that you will realize that it TRULY is OK to be Y-O-U!!!!!!!!!

As long as things come from your heart....none of us will EVER hate you. Even as thin-skinned as I am....I honestly don't think you could EVER say anything to make me even dislike you...letalone hate you. Besides...I don't even hate my former editor and he's my worst enemy!!!!! Get it? Got it? GOOD!!

And I know what ya mean about the Red Sox's/Yankee's thing. Because, well I don't like sports, but if I did and if i was a Red Sox's fan and the girl next to me was a Yankee's fan then i'd probably listen to her reasonings, which would probably be pretty good reasons to be a Yankee's fan and i'd end up converting over or being totally confused between the two....LOL

I call it having an open mind....but really I think it's a weak sense of self, co-dependency and a bunch of other things that make me put more stock into other people's opinions than i do my own. I'm getting better as i'm learning how to be myself and figuring out what that means. As crazy or neuratic as I am....it's okay to be me....just like it's more than ok to be you!

(see....i'm even still beating myself up about last week's fiasco because i came out looking like a childish, over-emotional, husband-stealing, stupid witch! And everytime i post something, all of that's sitting in the back of my mind....that people here will/do say, "I saw the mess SHE created and how much co-dependency work she obviously still needs to do....and how immature and drama-queen like she acted....so why should i listen or even read a word she says?!?)

By the way....have you had a chance to see Fever Pitch yet?

Oh...and PLEASE keep mentioning AA to people!!!!!!!!! Because if someone is chiming in and saying that AA stinks and his program is better.....then we all know that person is in denial b/c AA is the most successful alcohol recovery program that even the best money could ever buy!

But even if, by some slim chance, a new addiction recovery program was invented.....AA is what works for you and nobody has to agree with that because it's not them that matters. And same for that person...if they've found some new program that works for them then that's all that matters....that person won't dislike you just because you found help in a different place than he did...right?

I know you "know" that....you just don't "feel" that. But I think that will come with time....the more you open up and let yourself be yourself...then it won't feel so awkward to politely disagree with someone.

This last year i was even able to stand up to my bosses boss! He said the paper had basically bent over backwards for me when i returned....i said "No you didn't, you have done no more than what is required by law." He still continued to argue with me and I knew that was one issue that I stood VERY firm on (because they didn't even do everything that I was guarenteed by law)....so I simply said...

"Well, we're just gunna have to agree to disagree!"

His mouth fell open....but he stopped arguing with me....LOL

Don....why do you feel bad for being in treatment? You should be proud of yourself for trying to re-write all the wrongs you were brought up on! Like you said....that other kids in the family didn't seek treatment. Everyone has a choice....they decided not to want to overcome their demons....and that was unfortunately their choice to make. You made the choice to get healthy and continue to do so....that's your choice...and a very honorable and admirable choice!

Not hard to believe at all! Most kids pick up all the unhealthy things their parents hand out. We all do. No matter how hard we try not to or say we will NEVER be like them....we always are in some degree or another. But see....that's what makes you being in treatment so honorable....because by getting help for yourself...you are stopping those things with you instead of passing them on to future generations! That's one of my main reasons for recovery in my co-dependency especially....because if I over-come my major codependency issues...then when i hopefully have kids some day, then those unhealthy ways of thinking will not be passed onto them. Make sense?

Where as all your siblings who haven't/arn't seeking help and are acting just like your father....then their children will grow up to do exactly the same. It's a vicious cycle until someone brave enough like you steps up to the plate and takes on the responsiblity for his/her own actions and future and decides to get healthy.

Obviously, your brother is still harboring pains from his childhood....and will continue to until he tries to seek out healthy ways of coping/healing. Therapy would obviously be ideal....but i get the impression that he's not the kind to be willing to see a "shrink"....probably out of pride and also because if he started seeing a head doc, then that would be like him having to admit that he really is a "mental case". Probably the only way he could ever come to terms with going to a therapist would be if he knew a man personally who he admired and then later found out that he too goes to see a therapist to heal childhood abuse issues.

But of course....i'm just speculating about all this....so please forgive me if i'm all wrong.

Please don't EVER worry about hijacking any of my threads......hijack away....that's what they are all here for....healing....yours, mine, everyones...OK?

I will always to be thrilled any time you feel comfortable enough to write anything in one of my threads! Write me a novel my friend!

Don....this part makes me cry for you. I can tell that you are trying to prepare yourself and that's the best thing you can do for yourself right now. What a hard thing...i can only imagine. Just know that we are here for you. And continue writing b/c writing about our hurts and pains and fears....gives them less power somehow. It's almost as if....making a written record of it all frees our minds from having to hold onto it all so tightly. We can let go of things because if there should ever be a need or want to go back to them....we only need to read our own words. Writing is especially beneficial for heartaches.

Above all.....just remember....you are not alone!

GIANT HUGS!
Jenna

Don W

Thanks Jenna, your words of wisdom and compassion are always appreciated and needed.