runningfree

I have been away for some time for many reasons. I view, but do not post and I try not to even go in. Part of the reason is that I feel that rehashing a story over and over again is somewhat unproductive and the folks responding (although always kind) seem to say the same thing. (I need to accept myself and like myself better) I am aware of this and I feel that I have been pretty rational about it. I do have some major skeletons in my closet that have been unleashed that I thought were buried for good. This has not helped my mental health and ability to function on a day to day basis.\

My husband has been very supportive by trying to get help for himself in order to be able to understand me better. He is not able to be emotionally available, but I feel he has tried and for this I am grateful and I am holding do resentment for his inability to address my issues daily. He is so wonderful in so many ways that I need to accept this part of him. If he needed me to go on a roller coaster I just couldn't do it and he just can't be an emotional listener.

I have the same dilemma that I have had with my friend/neighbor that has been going on for 2 + years. The only difference now is that she has admitted to all the things that I was trying to prove to save my sanity. The plain truth is that I know she has gone through her own issues and she is a good person and a good friend, but she just hurt me deeply with some words and actions. Having her live next door and our children as best friends and myself who is now friendship-scared feels very lonely.

I feel I have made strides, but I am still feeling "depressed". Although I do not have suicidal thoughts, I still get very low and then scared because I need to "be better."

I guess having 4 snow days and 30+ inches of snow on the ground would make anyone depressed. I HATE SNOW! I wish that we had moved years ago. We will be in school until July at this rate!

Thanks for the moment to vent for a bit!

Morning Glory

Hi runningfree,

It's good to see you. Sometimes we just need to vent and have someone to listen to us. We can get good advice, but it still takes time to process information and grow. I have a lot of the same problems I've had for years and just need to talk sometimes.

Please feel free to vent whenever you need to.

Hugs,
MG

runningfree

Thanks,
The busy parts of life that make managing this process even more difficult combined with social pressures and not to mention weather pressures make balancing things very difficult.
Sometimes it would just be nice to do absolutely nothing until getting bored and really having nothing to do. Everything is done and you are doing absolutely nothing and then having a true feeling of boredom.

Wow, that seems like an unbelieveable experience.