manging sobriety while bipolar
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: los Angeles
Posts: 6
manging sobriety while bipolar
I am bipolar and on trileptal. I used to drink when o my meds, skip meds or plan meds around drinking.. all of which are ridiculous, I know.
I started drinking in college, I believe, to quiet my mind. I would be in my manic period and could party for days straight or would drink force sleep. When depressed, I would drink to feel normal. I basically used so I wouldn't feel so numb.
I've gone 1 year and 6 months (separate times) before, and always go back to drinking and rationalizing that I can control my drinking when I have a racing mind.
I need advice on how to really avoid doing this because it clearly makes things worse. I just feel out of control when I'm in my phases, of course being on meds regularly will help, but I'm scared that I'll go back to drinking because I can't deal with my symptoms.
I started drinking in college, I believe, to quiet my mind. I would be in my manic period and could party for days straight or would drink force sleep. When depressed, I would drink to feel normal. I basically used so I wouldn't feel so numb.
I've gone 1 year and 6 months (separate times) before, and always go back to drinking and rationalizing that I can control my drinking when I have a racing mind.
I need advice on how to really avoid doing this because it clearly makes things worse. I just feel out of control when I'm in my phases, of course being on meds regularly will help, but I'm scared that I'll go back to drinking because I can't deal with my symptoms.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
I am not bipolar, but do have major depression, GAD, dysthymia, panic disorder et al.
I found that I had to get a significant chunk of sober time under my belt to be able to apply some cognitive tools to dealing with my mental health. At three years sober I must say I still have a lot of work to do.
I hope you are in a position to share with your prescribing doctor where you are at with sobriety and your medication. For sure, drinking on Trileptal isn't a good plan and certainly won't have a very pretty outcome.
Are you getting any help at all with your alcoholism? Listen, I self medicated for a couple of decades on and off medication and I can tell you my experience was certainly insane.
I found that I had to get a significant chunk of sober time under my belt to be able to apply some cognitive tools to dealing with my mental health. At three years sober I must say I still have a lot of work to do.
I hope you are in a position to share with your prescribing doctor where you are at with sobriety and your medication. For sure, drinking on Trileptal isn't a good plan and certainly won't have a very pretty outcome.
Are you getting any help at all with your alcoholism? Listen, I self medicated for a couple of decades on and off medication and I can tell you my experience was certainly insane.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: los Angeles
Posts: 6
I shared with my dr when I had one. I don't have insurance anymore and am figuring out what my next steps are where thus is concerned.
I'm not getting help with my alcoholism aside from within my self and these forums. I've tried AA (hated it), SOS and women in recovery and didn't like any of them. However, i did attend SOS consistently and may consider that again.
Yea, drinking while on meds is the worst thing to do and that's one reason I am stopping but since I've been down this rod a few times, I know it's easier said than done.
I'm not getting help with my alcoholism aside from within my self and these forums. I've tried AA (hated it), SOS and women in recovery and didn't like any of them. However, i did attend SOS consistently and may consider that again.
Yea, drinking while on meds is the worst thing to do and that's one reason I am stopping but since I've been down this rod a few times, I know it's easier said than done.
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Florida
Posts: 394
Hi Sola! I am also bipolar. I've been sober (this time) since the end of October . Ialso have a fear that iIwill go back to drinking to ease the symptoms of the illness. It's really hard..... I guess what is working for me is being more aware of my moods. When I'm in a mood where I feel the strong urge to drink I distract myself or i plan activities ahead of time. It doesn't always work for me as far as being happy about it, but it keeps me from drinking. I'mreally hoping tthis gets easier. I keep coming on SR also. It's a great distraction. Keep posting. You're not alone.....
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Dantes 9th circle
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Dealing with addiction while bipolar is a strange road to travel and doing it alone can make the journey more difficult than it needs to be. I was diagnosed at 15 and have been living with my addiction issues and bipolar issue ever since; 21 years of what at times feels like a living hell.
I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but I’m sure we would have a similar story. I began manipulating my medication at an early age; I used it to help with the come down from ecstasy, LSD and even heroin on a regular basis well into my 20’s. I also use to mix my bipolar medications to find my own highs when I was having a manic episode and then when I was crashing into a deep depression after the mania.
For me it is very easy to justify my recreational drug/drinking use when I am taking medication for my bipolar disorder, so about 3 years ago I began working with my doctors and therapist to wean myself off all my medication, and have not used any drugs in over a year. I needed to know after years of living a self distrucive life due to my addiction and bipolar disorder that I can live life with no drugs Rx or otherwise.
I’m sorry for rambling on about myself, but I just want you to know that you are not alone and I know first had how hard it is to manage both addiction and a bipolar disorder, but it can be done it just takes time and a willingness to change with how you cope with life.
I hope it helps to know your not going through this all alone.
All of G-ds strength & blessing
I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but I’m sure we would have a similar story. I began manipulating my medication at an early age; I used it to help with the come down from ecstasy, LSD and even heroin on a regular basis well into my 20’s. I also use to mix my bipolar medications to find my own highs when I was having a manic episode and then when I was crashing into a deep depression after the mania.
For me it is very easy to justify my recreational drug/drinking use when I am taking medication for my bipolar disorder, so about 3 years ago I began working with my doctors and therapist to wean myself off all my medication, and have not used any drugs in over a year. I needed to know after years of living a self distrucive life due to my addiction and bipolar disorder that I can live life with no drugs Rx or otherwise.
I’m sorry for rambling on about myself, but I just want you to know that you are not alone and I know first had how hard it is to manage both addiction and a bipolar disorder, but it can be done it just takes time and a willingness to change with how you cope with life.
I hope it helps to know your not going through this all alone.
All of G-ds strength & blessing
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,945
Hi sola I have schizoaffective bipolar disorder I had four years sober but I relapsed in bipolar mania and schizophrenic psychosis I relapsed very often up until recently I now have 36 days sober not a lot of days but a lot for me. Just know other people go thru this and youll find support on sr I know its hard not to have insurance. I think your making the right choice to stay sober and taking medication.
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