brinkola

Hi, im new here. well where do I start? I was a heroin and crack addict for 10 yrs and a prostitute. I changed my life 5 and a half years ago although I have had a few one offs with the drugs. but I ended up getting married, nice house and feeling safe and secure but certain things stayed the same for example sleeping all day, staying up all night, staying in the house all the time in my pyjamas. I only really see my husband at weekends, he is a truck driver. so I spend a lot of time on my own and only have 1 proper friend. I have very bad OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) which involves nearly everything I do, nearly everything I do takes time, I'm late for everything and im so lazy but I think part of that is to do with everything seems so much of an effort to do and takes twice as long. sleeping all day means im not getting things done and sometimes missing appointments. its been a habit for a long time and I cant get out of it. I have been on benefits for many years but recently in uk they are clamping down on this ( too many people on benefits) so my benefits have been stopped as I have been declared fit for work. I have been wanting to get back to work for a while but felt my OCD was holding me back. I have been offered a job but I have been waiting for over 5 weeks now for the CRB check to come through, ive been told it can take up to 6 weeks. I do want to get back into work and sort my life out and get my OCD under control but im worried I wont be able to hold this job down with being late etc. or it does the opposite and sorts my OCD out. I also suffer from depression and anxiety. im just hoping this job is a blessing from god and sorts my life out. I just needed to get this out there and see what people's opinions are.:

DecBaby

I think you need to start making a routine for yourself. Get up early. Take a shower. Don't put pjs back on. Give yourself little tasks to get done. Do them when you can. But make sure they get done. Sometimes you need to push yourself to do things you don't want to do. This job may help with a routine. Don't use ocd or anything else as an excuse why you can't get there on time. Make sure you get there on time and show yourself it can be done. Push yourself. Move out of your comfort zone.

DylanS

Hi Brinkola and welcome.

OCD is pretty treatable, from what I understand. Can you get some therapy and or medication (not sure of your position on meds....)?

I had only the briefest brush with OCD tendencies (when I was a kid I had to do everything in even numbers until one day, allowing for imperfect follow-through, I had to flush the toilet 8 times with each hand). I was in the bathroom for so long it was crazy, so I was able, at that time, to somehow break the fixation. While in a car, I used to 'have to' read every billboard I passed on my side of the road, but that has faded over time. My father has a more innocuous manifestation: to this day, I believe, he counts every step he takes in life.

I'm sure there are others who've wrestled with this particular problem. The lucky thing is that treatment, CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) in particular, has proven very effective.

HTH - and welcome to SR!

raku

raku' says...just take a nap.