DylanS

Today, my psychiatrist advised me, yet again, to get some help for living with someone who has "strong narcissistic tendencies". It is her opinion that my living situation is extremely detrimental to my mental/emotional/spiritual health.

I'm wondering if other folks have this situation going on and how they handle it. The only thing I can think of is going to Al-Anon, even though I'm the alcoholic/addict in the relationship, for support and coping skills.

My wife is pretty narcissistic and, though I'm on disability for PTSD/stress from work, and I agreed to her (demanding, narcissistic mother) staying with us for a month, she pushed for more. It was very difficult and has really set me back a great deal. But I never seem to know what's fair, what's selfish, what's too giving/co-dependent, what's too harsh of a 'push-back'. She constantly pushes boundaries and it's f*cking exhausting just to hold basic boundaries in the relationship...not sure where to get support for this kind of thing.

TIA for any suggestions.

DragynLady

Definitely go to Al Anon. My aunt attends Al Anon meetings for her food-addicted husband... they welcome her with open arms. It's a different feel than an AA meeting.

DylanS

Thanks, DL - looks like that'll be a good option for me, then. I live in a fairly small town so we don't have the myriad groups that one might find in a large city, but we definitely have Al-Anon.

cleaninLI

Hi Dylan,
Wow, I really feel for you. It must be really hard to work on your recovery living and dealing with two narcissists in your household -as if one weren't enough! I've read a lot of forums on this site -the sustance abuse section as well as the F&F section of this forum and have noticed that there really isn't a place where addicts can discuss their codependency issues. It seems to be either (addict) or (coodepenent). You brought up a good point. The majority of the reasons I began self-medicating are because of family and marital issues. Alot, of the behaviors referred to as "addict behaviors" can be applyed to my husband. He is not the addict, I am. I am attending a nonprofit IOP which excepts insurance or has a sliding fee scale for those who are uninsured. Many of our group discussions are centered around codependency and how it plays a large role in our addiction. Are there any programs like this in your area? It seems to me that we could certainly benefit from AA/NA /alanon/narnon stye meetings! Lol

Sorry, I really didn't have very good advice but you are not alone with this problem.

Amy