So depressed
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
So depressed
I have been crying all day. Havent been out of bed for more than 20 mins at a time. And stupid me has been watching this Intervention marathon all day.
Even Meet the Natives had me crying.
I am a huge mess here lately. I dont think this welbutrin is doing anything at all.
I seriously need to see a pdoc again and get the right meds or something. I would love not to take any at all. But I see how that thinking got me. But it also scares me becasue when I first took anti depressants, Cymbalta. I didnt react well to them. But it was probably because I just stopped taking them. Then I tried to kill myself like a couple weeks after. I have been pretty messed up on crack before and feeling pretty flippin low. But never took it that far. So it makes me scared to take anything.
I dont know. I knw just sitting around like this is really getting to me. I have until next Tues when I have my eval at IOP finally. Then I will start the next day. But I want to get into this sober house soon. I hope it doesnt take until Feb.
I hate not working and having no money, no vehicle. Nothing. I had more independance when I was a teenager.
This just sucks.
Even Meet the Natives had me crying.
I am a huge mess here lately. I dont think this welbutrin is doing anything at all.
I seriously need to see a pdoc again and get the right meds or something. I would love not to take any at all. But I see how that thinking got me. But it also scares me becasue when I first took anti depressants, Cymbalta. I didnt react well to them. But it was probably because I just stopped taking them. Then I tried to kill myself like a couple weeks after. I have been pretty messed up on crack before and feeling pretty flippin low. But never took it that far. So it makes me scared to take anything.
I dont know. I knw just sitting around like this is really getting to me. I have until next Tues when I have my eval at IOP finally. Then I will start the next day. But I want to get into this sober house soon. I hope it doesnt take until Feb.
I hate not working and having no money, no vehicle. Nothing. I had more independance when I was a teenager.
This just sucks.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
Trish,
I'm sorry you're feeling so down. Sometimes it takes time and the right doctor-supervised jiggering of the anti D's to get it right. I haven't done well with them, I use some herbs that seem to help more. Ging Sen gives me more energy seems to lessen the dark moods.
Love,
Lenina
I'm sorry you're feeling so down. Sometimes it takes time and the right doctor-supervised jiggering of the anti D's to get it right. I haven't done well with them, I use some herbs that seem to help more. Ging Sen gives me more energy seems to lessen the dark moods.
Love,
Lenina
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,061
PLEASE see a doctor Trish, or at least let him know how you're reacting to the Welbutrin. Communication is so important when you're trying to find out what will help you. Be realistic though, sometimes it takes awhile to adapt to the right one.
Just be sure to have the awareness if something feels horribly wrong. I've talked often about my experiences with AD's and SSRI's, feeling suicidal, trip to the mental ward, etc. Don't take anything too lightly.
Just be sure to have the awareness if something feels horribly wrong. I've talked often about my experiences with AD's and SSRI's, feeling suicidal, trip to the mental ward, etc. Don't take anything too lightly.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
I used to have a recovery therapist. She had me take the herb Valerian and the vitamins B and 5HTP which got my brain chemistry (seratonin) straight. I have to get outside for sunshine(vit D) and get to meetings for the ESH and social benefits. This too shall pass. One day at a time. Try a gratitude list,or pick up the 100 pound phone. I love my Unity church. Do not listen to your negative thoughts. I also started meditating listening to Holysync tapes. I downloaded one off the net free. I do "old lady "yoga. Nothing hard. I get out in nature. I read the Tolle book A New Earth. REALLY helped. You can watch him online on Oprah-A New Earth. Peace on Earth.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Trish))) - I'm sorry you're feeling down, but I really do hope you call your dr. Not all meds work for everyone, and some have some pretty lousy side effects.
I know this "sitting around" is killing you, but Tue. only SEEMS like a million years away. For those of us, who are used to working all the time, "down time" is pretty nerve-wracking.
Although I DO think you need to address the depression with your dr., I think this is part of your accepting that you really ARE willing to do whatever it takes...even if it means going stir-crazy for a few weeks. You have IOP coming up, you're on the waiting list for the sober house. NOW is the true test....waiting for this stuff and STILL putting that "one foot in front of the other" and doing your part.
And you are..I know you can't get to meetings as you live far out and have no car, but you're reaching out here, and that's a good thing and I'm proud of you!!! As you know, SR has been my main source of support for quite a while, and as much as I hate to see you post that you're so down, I think of the "old ((Trish)) who would have never done that - you'd have just tried to tough it out on your own, and we know where THAT got you!
Sending you a shipload of hugs and prayers, sweetie. Depression saps the very life out of you, or so it seems, but I'm hoping they find the right combination of meds to keep your moods more balanced. BTW, don't know how long you've been on it, but it took 2-1/2 weeks for my anti-d to really kick in.
Love, hugs and prayers!
Amy
I know this "sitting around" is killing you, but Tue. only SEEMS like a million years away. For those of us, who are used to working all the time, "down time" is pretty nerve-wracking.
Although I DO think you need to address the depression with your dr., I think this is part of your accepting that you really ARE willing to do whatever it takes...even if it means going stir-crazy for a few weeks. You have IOP coming up, you're on the waiting list for the sober house. NOW is the true test....waiting for this stuff and STILL putting that "one foot in front of the other" and doing your part.
And you are..I know you can't get to meetings as you live far out and have no car, but you're reaching out here, and that's a good thing and I'm proud of you!!! As you know, SR has been my main source of support for quite a while, and as much as I hate to see you post that you're so down, I think of the "old ((Trish)) who would have never done that - you'd have just tried to tough it out on your own, and we know where THAT got you!
Sending you a shipload of hugs and prayers, sweetie. Depression saps the very life out of you, or so it seems, but I'm hoping they find the right combination of meds to keep your moods more balanced. BTW, don't know how long you've been on it, but it took 2-1/2 weeks for my anti-d to really kick in.
Love, hugs and prayers!
Amy
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Thx guys. But also with no vehicle I cant get to the Dr either. And I am not even going to attempt to ask my family for anything until after Christmas. Their lives are freakin hectic as it is already.
I feel a little better today. I dont feel sick like I did yesterday. My thraot and sinuses have been sore the past couple days. It seems to hurt only at night.
I will level out here soon. I need o stop letting things get to me. Especially things that have nothing to do with me.
I feel a little better today. I dont feel sick like I did yesterday. My thraot and sinuses have been sore the past couple days. It seems to hurt only at night.
I will level out here soon. I need o stop letting things get to me. Especially things that have nothing to do with me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Trish))) - glad you're feeling a bit better. You can still CALL your dr., explain that you have no transportation and just let him know what's going on. Yes, they may say "we need to see you", but they may have some advice or can do something...can't hurt to call.
That way, when you DO see him, he'll have it on your record how you were feeling at such-and-such date and will have a better idea of whether this wellbutrin is taking it's time to "kick in" or just isn't the med for you.
Love, hugs, and prayers!
Amy
That way, when you DO see him, he'll have it on your record how you were feeling at such-and-such date and will have a better idea of whether this wellbutrin is taking it's time to "kick in" or just isn't the med for you.
Love, hugs, and prayers!
Amy
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,061
It's a good idea to journal how the meds are making you feel Trish, it'll help you and your doctor to recognize patterns. I also found that my thoughts were so scattered sometimes that I couldn't really give an accurate description of how I felt at times, so writing it down helped.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 664
I can relate to how you feel. I currently am unemployed, and, up until today, had no money and I can't drive. To be depressed on top of that has to be a lot to bear. What helped me was to work on stop being stressed on things that are out of my immediate control. I did that by taking stock of the things, and people, I do have in my life and feeling more gratitude for them and savoring them more. But first, you have to get your meds sorted out.
The whole "I don't want to stress my family" thing can't work in this situation because your health and sanity are on the line and unless your family and friends are cold, heartless b@stards, they care about how you're doing and wanting to see you well. DO NOT give in to the self-sabotaging voice and nature in your head. It's what can keep you depressed and keep you addicted. If you absolutely can't call on your family, who again, cares about you deeply, call a friend and say you NEED to go to the doctor's to get your meds sorted out. I'm sure at least one friend will be happy to oblige. People do tend to be in a more giving mood this time of year. And just remember, if friends don't come through, your family does care about you, no matter how messed up their lives are, and helping people can often give people a sense of purpose.
If you don't have a therapist, I would seek one out when you do have the money and/or job. For now the best thing you can do is to keep yourself busy doing the things you love, even if you don't want to do them. Do things that keep your mind off your situation, more than just watching TV. Create something. Cook. Write a poem, write a letter, just write. Paint. Draw. Sculpt. Etc. I'm not sure what your situation is but are you actively looking for a job? That keeps me busy most days and makes me feel productive. But sitting around ruminating on how screwed I am is like running in a circle--it might make me exhausted after awhile, but it gets me nowhere. One of the best things I've done for my depression in the past few months is to write out a schedule of what I'm going to do in the next day. I don't always follow it to a tee, but it gets me out of bed and gives me a sense of purpose and gives me an orderly plot of things to do. Because before that I was pretty much lying in bed as much as I could until my dad forced me to get out of bed and look for work. Also, schedule in some leisure time for yourself as well.
A book I'd recommend I recommend anyone with depression is called The Mindful Way Through Depression. It combines CBT techniques and mindfulness philosophy. This is good to engage in and read when you're feeling depressed, but not catatonically so.
I hope you do get well soon and let us know how you're doing.
Take care,
Clayton
P.S. I agree wholeheartedly with Astro and Impurrfect. Writing down how you feel on meds is a good idea, especially if you have trouble keeping track of things, and let the doc know beforehand so they can do some homework while you wait for a ride.
The whole "I don't want to stress my family" thing can't work in this situation because your health and sanity are on the line and unless your family and friends are cold, heartless b@stards, they care about how you're doing and wanting to see you well. DO NOT give in to the self-sabotaging voice and nature in your head. It's what can keep you depressed and keep you addicted. If you absolutely can't call on your family, who again, cares about you deeply, call a friend and say you NEED to go to the doctor's to get your meds sorted out. I'm sure at least one friend will be happy to oblige. People do tend to be in a more giving mood this time of year. And just remember, if friends don't come through, your family does care about you, no matter how messed up their lives are, and helping people can often give people a sense of purpose.
If you don't have a therapist, I would seek one out when you do have the money and/or job. For now the best thing you can do is to keep yourself busy doing the things you love, even if you don't want to do them. Do things that keep your mind off your situation, more than just watching TV. Create something. Cook. Write a poem, write a letter, just write. Paint. Draw. Sculpt. Etc. I'm not sure what your situation is but are you actively looking for a job? That keeps me busy most days and makes me feel productive. But sitting around ruminating on how screwed I am is like running in a circle--it might make me exhausted after awhile, but it gets me nowhere. One of the best things I've done for my depression in the past few months is to write out a schedule of what I'm going to do in the next day. I don't always follow it to a tee, but it gets me out of bed and gives me a sense of purpose and gives me an orderly plot of things to do. Because before that I was pretty much lying in bed as much as I could until my dad forced me to get out of bed and look for work. Also, schedule in some leisure time for yourself as well.
A book I'd recommend I recommend anyone with depression is called The Mindful Way Through Depression. It combines CBT techniques and mindfulness philosophy. This is good to engage in and read when you're feeling depressed, but not catatonically so.
I hope you do get well soon and let us know how you're doing.
Take care,
Clayton
P.S. I agree wholeheartedly with Astro and Impurrfect. Writing down how you feel on meds is a good idea, especially if you have trouble keeping track of things, and let the doc know beforehand so they can do some homework while you wait for a ride.
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
Here's another book, highly recommended:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-handbook.html
Best wishes!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-handbook.html
Best wishes!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Colorado
Posts: 664
Originally Posted by historyteach 
Here's another book, highly recommended:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-handbook.html
Best wishes!
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-handbook.html
Best wishes!
This thread is from back in December.
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