dor5711

an 18 year old that refuses it? He is bipolar and has refused to take meds for the last month. He is so angry and desperately needs help to learn how to deal with it. How do you get help for someone who says he doesn't want it? And I love it........18 years old so I can't force him to get help but I am legally responsible for him until 21. 18.....you can fight for your country, vote...but can't buy a drink. Unbelievable!

Katie09

Well, that's a tough one. I don't think there is too much you can do other than to try to persuade him to be open to help.

I just left a job working as a case manager for youths with issues. These were kids under 18 (I am thinking of one 16 and one 17 old boy I had on my caseload - both with BP issues and neither wanted help) and there was no way to force them into therapy or take medication.

I just read your other thread. Yeah, I suppose you could tell him he has to leave if he's not willing to get help. Like others said, you will have to be prepared to follow through on it.

Having been Dx'd with BP disorder myself, I dunno...

scott

Tell him he's out of options. Either join the military or go get help and see what he does.....it worked on me when I was that age. I'm 23 now.

historyteach

Dor,
Why do you say you're responsible for him until he's 21?
You're in NY. That means he's an adult at 18. He's responsible for himself -- legally.

Now, I know how foolish that really is, but, it is the law, and it's what you've got working for you. You can cut him loose if he refuses to follow simple directions in your home. Hard as it is, it's the kindest thing to do.

Shalom!

liesagain

If hes a threat to himself or others (in my state ...Florida) their are laws that help people and allow for involantary treatment.

Maybe you could start with your local mental health clinic.....like a state health department and see if they can direct you

theres also the option of putting him out of your home..............but as a mom of a 17 year old who was diagnosed just last year as BP I know that this would be more than I could bring myself to do ~~~
luckly right now my son "remembers" what he felt like when things started getting messed up in his head.......so he willingly takes his medication
unfortunately he still thinks its ok..if he "smokes a little weed with his friends every once in a while"

we battle this point and for now it seems hes complying My heart goes out to you, wish I had more advice but I too am new to this ..........
there are many here that have alot of experience and they will be along soon,,,,,,,,,

stainedglass

18 was a horrible age for me. I was not the model daughter! I hate to say this but you might just need to let him go to learn on his own. Unless he's in danger of harming himself or another, I don't think there's much the authorities can do.

Good luck to you.

dor5711

I think we are to the point where I am taking drastic action. He is still smoking and even received seeds in the mail for planting. He has no respect or concern for anyone else but him. I got a hold of his cell phone today for a few minutes and confirmed my suspicions as to who is involved with him. I plan to talk to a friend's mom this week because they are talking about planting the seeds in someone's backyard. Anyway.....I went to the police station today and they told me I can file a refrain from order which prohibites him from using and bringing drugs into my house. If I call the police, they will come and arrest him and have him spend a night in jail. I told him about that tonight and the response was "F off". So I don't have a choice. I have also told him that if he doesn't like the rules here, he is welcome to move on. He also has a broken taillight on his car and want a cop to pull him over and see or smell something.....then he will also be arrested.

Drastic measures but what choice do I have? I refuse to live my life this way. He still refuses to take his BP meds and see a doc.

D

historyteach

It's difficult yes, but, you're holding him responsible for his actions.
Its the kindest thing you can do for him.
Keep up the good work.

Shalom!

Angelic17

Well, I look at it this way. If he is 18 an under your roof, you call the shots. If he doesn't want to do the right thing, then he can go out on his own, and pay his own bills,support himself,and run the show. But since he is 18, and a young adult but not quite legal. He can either, respect you, and your home, and do things the way you want in your home, or he can find his own place. TOUGH LOVE MOM. That's what I would do. If he is in danger of hurting himself or another. You can have him committed. Like Britany Spears was. There is a limit to how much you should take from a young person who doesn't know what's good for himself. Good Luck, and GOD BLESS...I hope things work out well for you......Angel