Too Much Stress
~Author of My Life~
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,796
Too Much Stress
Right when I think I can handle anything that comes my way, I realize I can't. There have been times I endured so much, but no matter..in the end this depression knocks me flat on my face. I am down for the count I think. My only 3D support believes there is nothing wrong with me that pulling myself up by the bootstraps will fix, I can't take it anymore. I know in my heart I am doing all I can, it's not enough anymore...it's killing me and I am scared, and I am dead tired of this. I am praying like there's no tomorrow...and that is what really scares me, tomorrow and the same pain, the same agony, the same failures. This is not depression talking, this is reality fair and square, somewhere I screwed up real bad, and now I am paying. If any of you are puting off getting help for depression, bipolar, PTSD, panic disorder...please get help, don't put it off, save yourself..you're worth it.
Hugz to all,
tammie
Hugz to all,
tammie
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tammie,
Hang in there. Your pain won't last forever. I promise. When you're in it, it feels like it will. I'm out of my pain now and suffered terribly. Don't give up. There is an answer for you.
There are real issues that are causing your pain. I can guarantee that it's not your fault. I've been where you are and I'm out. You'll get out too.
Many hugs,
MG
Hang in there. Your pain won't last forever. I promise. When you're in it, it feels like it will. I'm out of my pain now and suffered terribly. Don't give up. There is an answer for you.
There are real issues that are causing your pain. I can guarantee that it's not your fault. I've been where you are and I'm out. You'll get out too.
Many hugs,
MG
~Author of My Life~
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,796
MG, it helps so much to know that you made through the same thing as I, I'm serious, it gives me hope..often now when I really am in the midst of the pain I think how you said you were here,,and it gets better when we face it..you are a wonderful lady MG..thank you from the bottom of my heart for being here..
Hugz,
Tammie
Hugz,
Tammie
Member
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: California, USA
Posts: 1,095
Tammi,
It may sound trite, but when I was really suffering with my emotional disorders, it helped relieve some of the stress if I was able to take an attitude of acceptance. I don't mean acceptance as in well this is my life and it won't change, but acceptance of your feelings. Feelings are feelings, some feel good, some bad, or horrible. However the feelings in and of themselves are neither bad nor good. Is this making any sense.
I'm not sure what you mean by "somewhere I screwed up real bad, and now I'm paying." Do you mean in some karmic sense. I know that for me since I was already subject to emtional disorders, that using drugs aggravated that. But I don't believe that we get punished for making mistakes, by suffering emotionally and mentally, except if we are punishing ourselves. Are you perhaps punishing yourself?
That busines about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is a philosophy I've encountered before, and maybe for some people thinking like that works. But it's just a philosophy, not something you have to try to live your life by.
I know how you feel about the depression, and just when you feeli like you have a handle on things you get knocked down. Last year I became depressed in a severe way that I had not experienced for years. I felt so discouraged that I was still struggling with this. I even thought that I might be better off not among the living. It lasted for three months, and I was already on anti-depressants. I was so depressed I couldn't even talk to anyone about it, and the one person I did talk to gave me that same speech that you got. It really pissed me off. If I could pull myself up out of my own sh** I would have gladly done so. Maybe some people like wallowing in their own misery, but I'm not one of them.
I had to accept though that I might suffer with these episodes throughout my life. I tried to embrace my depression, instead of looking at it as something to fear. I don't know what it started, but it did end.
I don't know if all this rambling is helpful, but you do see that others have gone through similar things.
Juls
It may sound trite, but when I was really suffering with my emotional disorders, it helped relieve some of the stress if I was able to take an attitude of acceptance. I don't mean acceptance as in well this is my life and it won't change, but acceptance of your feelings. Feelings are feelings, some feel good, some bad, or horrible. However the feelings in and of themselves are neither bad nor good. Is this making any sense.
I'm not sure what you mean by "somewhere I screwed up real bad, and now I'm paying." Do you mean in some karmic sense. I know that for me since I was already subject to emtional disorders, that using drugs aggravated that. But I don't believe that we get punished for making mistakes, by suffering emotionally and mentally, except if we are punishing ourselves. Are you perhaps punishing yourself?
That busines about pulling yourself up by your bootstraps is a philosophy I've encountered before, and maybe for some people thinking like that works. But it's just a philosophy, not something you have to try to live your life by.
I know how you feel about the depression, and just when you feeli like you have a handle on things you get knocked down. Last year I became depressed in a severe way that I had not experienced for years. I felt so discouraged that I was still struggling with this. I even thought that I might be better off not among the living. It lasted for three months, and I was already on anti-depressants. I was so depressed I couldn't even talk to anyone about it, and the one person I did talk to gave me that same speech that you got. It really pissed me off. If I could pull myself up out of my own sh** I would have gladly done so. Maybe some people like wallowing in their own misery, but I'm not one of them.
I had to accept though that I might suffer with these episodes throughout my life. I tried to embrace my depression, instead of looking at it as something to fear. I don't know what it started, but it did end.
I don't know if all this rambling is helpful, but you do see that others have gone through similar things.
Juls
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 30
Hi Tammie,
I can really hear your pain and relate. I've had an anxiety disorder for most of my life that went completely untreated until I went for rehab and they put me on Lexapro which has worked wonders for me. My doctor told me that these days they are considering anxiety and depression as the same disorder and I'm not surprised because my anxiety was right along side constant struggles with depression. I'm an artist and have always used my depression to fuel my creativity which is good, but other times I feel like is enough is enough and I can't stand all this suffering any more.
One of the reasons I drank was to self medicate which of course made things worse in the end. I'm thankful that I now have something that really works on the anxiety, because without it, I seriously doubt that I would ever be able to sit through meetings and work on my recovery. I'm not in constant stress or panic mode anymore and I thought for sure, after a lifetime of suffering, this was just something I was going to have to live with for ever.
Hope I can help in some way. BTW surrendering to my HP helps a lot as well, I am the poster child for trying to pull myself up by the bootstraps which always seemed to feed my anxiety rather than alleviate it.
take care,
Ophelia
I can really hear your pain and relate. I've had an anxiety disorder for most of my life that went completely untreated until I went for rehab and they put me on Lexapro which has worked wonders for me. My doctor told me that these days they are considering anxiety and depression as the same disorder and I'm not surprised because my anxiety was right along side constant struggles with depression. I'm an artist and have always used my depression to fuel my creativity which is good, but other times I feel like is enough is enough and I can't stand all this suffering any more.
One of the reasons I drank was to self medicate which of course made things worse in the end. I'm thankful that I now have something that really works on the anxiety, because without it, I seriously doubt that I would ever be able to sit through meetings and work on my recovery. I'm not in constant stress or panic mode anymore and I thought for sure, after a lifetime of suffering, this was just something I was going to have to live with for ever.
Hope I can help in some way. BTW surrendering to my HP helps a lot as well, I am the poster child for trying to pull myself up by the bootstraps which always seemed to feed my anxiety rather than alleviate it.
take care,
Ophelia
A picture's worth a 1000 words
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: With any luck, I'm lost in a view finder
Posts: 2,954
I'm just here poking around old threads and found this one.....just wondering (((((Tammie))))) how are things going these days?
I'm in month 14 or so of this major/atypical depression and I sure wish Morning Glory was still around for me to talk to. I never got to talk to her much. But i thought I would also check in on you b/c you felt hopeless once, like i am now,...and am wondering if you're still feeling the same way?
I'm in month 14 or so of this major/atypical depression and I sure wish Morning Glory was still around for me to talk to. I never got to talk to her much. But i thought I would also check in on you b/c you felt hopeless once, like i am now,...and am wondering if you're still feeling the same way?
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