racingthoughts

Ugh. This suckssss. I don't even really want to smoke. I just want to feel better and I know that's probably still a good ways off. Weekend has been very rough. Had a mild panic attack this morning and punched a hole in the wall this afternoon. Gotta keep chipping away though. I did it to myself.

wackybunny

Chip chip chip away. You can do it. Sorry it sucks now but it will get better as you know. Patience. Do what you can to distract yourself and feel more comfortable. Is it super hot there? We're having weather hotter and dryer than ever. I go swimming a couple times a week at least. Do you have lakes or rivers or pools there?

Dee74

I hope you'll find a great improvement this week RT.

D

racingthoughts

Thanks you two as always. Yea it's been pretty hot here WB, humid and gross too. Lots of thunderstorms recently though, which I've enjoyed. Havent swam much, but I've been trying to get some exercise every day. The heat combined with the withdrawal pretty much turns me into a sweaty mess every time I walk outside. Oh well.

One thing that I'm already changing this time around that I didn't before is just my life overall. Last time I quit I mostly just hung out with my stoner friends sober. No wonder I was miserable. I'm pretty much disassociating with them all. I figure that if they're true friends who want to see me for me that they'll make an effort to accommodate my sobriety. I haven't gotten any calls yet. So alas I'm a bit lonely, but whatever. I called my drug using roommate today and told him I'm moving out. Now I just have to find another place. Another week of rehab begins tomorrow though. Then a short week of it, then a family vacation. By that point hopefully I'll be over the main hump. I can't wait to join you guys on the other side again!

Incontrol15

Sounds awesome RT.
You have a great outlook and your awareness that these feelings are temporary is HUGE.

Again...I am really impressed with all the steps your taking. It takes ACTION to quit and it seems that's what you're all about. Very, very good.

wackybunny

Seems like you're doing the right thing, RT. There is no way I could have quit doing what you were doing - living and hanging out with stoner friends. I think you are right - no wonder you were miserable! I did not want to admit to myself that it had to be done but slowly and surely I distanced myself from all my stoner friends.

I've had a ton of friends in my life and not one of them was worth staying stuck in a rut for. As far as I see it,the point of friendships are to support each other, enjoy time together, share likemindedness - while that lasts. If that's no longer what's going on, they can be let go of (with respect and affection). I know you know, I'm just saying anyway.

If you are lonely it might drive you out to meet new people. If you have an established group you might not put the effort in to seek out new friends. I spent about a year working on meeting new friends when I first moved to where I live now. I never turned down an opportunity, I was open to people I wouldn't normally have gravitated towards (those that seemed square because they didn't smoke weed) and I ended up with some awesome friends.

I do have some close friends that I've had for over 20 years and that's because we support each other in doing what is best for ourselves and respect our life decisions. Those people are gems.

racingthoughts

Thanks WB. I'm hoping to actually branch out and get involved once the school year starts again in about a month. Pretty dead around here now. I do have one good friend who rarely drinks or does anything who's been supporting me throughout this process around which is nice. My other buddies at school were nice, but not people I can be around if I want to stay sober. Being around weed and not smoking it takes a toll on your willpower after a while until you just give in. At this point though, I'm completely ready to abandon the party lifestyle and see what else I can immerse myself in.

Incontrol15

Good for you RT. You can always say "been there, done that". Now it's time to grow.

happycampers

How you doing these days, RT ? Haven't heard from you in a few.

racingthoughts

Hey hc. I'm doing okay. On day 12. At the moment, I'm actually have kind of a crappy withdrawal episode. Just feel very depressed and somewhat anxious. One of the doom and gloom moments. The Zoloft I was prescribed is definitely taking the edge off, but it still sucks.

I'm doing the recovery work though this time. It's just really friggen tough sometimes. I just want to be better.

Dee74

Keep heading in this direction and you will be RT. Congrats on day 12

D

happycampers

Good to hear you're punching through say 12, RT ! And you know all these crappy feelings will pass - you've been through it and you'll make it through again , for the last time ! Keep pushing, RT and take it easy. Thinking of ya !

racingthoughts

Thanks you two. I must say it does feel pretty good to have actually put the stuff down again. I'm not nearly as lost as I was just a couple weeks ago. While I am still very early into this, I do know that I'm almost definitely over the worst of it. Last time I quit, days 4 and 5 were where it got real dark for me. This time, it was days 5-8. Now that I'm in treatment for some of my underlying issues which I've been self-medicating in one way or another for almost my entire life, hopefully I'll bounce back a bit quicker after all the damn thc is out of my system.

happycampers

Will you have your own apt. soon ? That will make a HUGE difference to your continued soberity having your space where it's clean and healthy !

racingthoughts

I have tours at two different apartments scheduled for Wednesday. Hopefully one of them will work. Both are in much quieter areas than I'm in right now, which is what I'm looking for.

happycampers

Right on, RT ! Good luck !

racingthoughts

I love that quote Dee

teodor

Have you noticed any weight changes when you stop ? This is something that bothers me since I'm working out to gain weight and it seems that I loose some when I stop ? Good luck RT and keep on the fight. I hope to be joining soon!

racingthoughts

Just saw this teodor. I answered your question in the thread you started.

Dee74

Thanks RT - hope you find a great apartment

D