2stop

but here I am. Up again.
Fight over th phone with husband.
said things I shouldn't have.....reacted to his every
predictable comments to me.

Many times my insomnia is related to
my relaionship. Him being a trucker
Me always here ta home
bitter and frustrated
some days..........I open my mouth when I feel
hurt or offended
and then I feel guilty, and then I can't sleep.

of all the progress I've made these past couple years
I don't think I've done too well relationship wise.

I keep fighting that feeling of guilt that I don't
make an income. I am reminded almost every time
I talk to husband that we ARE a one income
family, it's hard. He says I don't budget.......
so this ACT 91 foreclosure crap we've
been going through is of course....MY fault..I don't save enough money.

I cut my own hair, I do my own nails.
all my clothes past year have been second hand
(doesn't bother me) I watch the lights, the water running, I don't get cable or
satellite tv..........I shop yard sales, thrift stores dollar stores
have been trying to get stuff around for a yard sale but have been quite sick lately
and fx foot...and blah blah blah.
It doesn't matter to him
HE is ashamed of me. I don't work and am getting sicker.

I really really wish I could be working outside the home...
BUT I DO WORK! I work alot here. The yard, the house, the kids
the pets, the bills,
I am soooooo tired...so sick, and in soooo much pain.

I pray the ortho doc I see Tuesday will help me.
Maybe by end of summer I can work, or start college.

I don't know...I am doingthe best I can, I KNOW that.

but I also understand I am a burden to my family. I try not to be....
I never milk being sick or in pain.
In fact I probably don't rest enough........
I want to pull my own weight.

I want to be young and healthy again.....
don't we all? LOL.........

Will try and go back to bed.
maybe writing out how I feel will help.
I am sure it will get better.
Just been a hrad time.

2stop

Tossed and turned all night. I hurt so bad this morning it is unreal.

Tomorrow I see a specialist for some of my pain issues, maybe I'll sleep better aftre seeing him, and not talking to hubby on the phone before bed!

Morning Glory

How are you feeling Tammie?

I've been thinking about you.