The grateful dead
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bali, Indonesia
Posts: 645
The grateful dead
Hi
I'm selfishly starting this thread and not posting on others continual threads because I need to hold myself accountable and remember to post as often as possible.
The reason for the depressing thread title is because I feel dead inside, and feel as if many people I love have given up on me. So I'm either dead to them or they are to me.
So here goes:
1. I'm grateful for the beautiful people who are still standing by me.
2. I'm grateful that websites like this exist
3. I'm grateful for clean drinking water
4. I'm grateful for Medicare
5. I'm grateful that drugs and alcohol haven't killed me.
6. I'm grateful I'm not physically disabled.
7. I'm grateful I live in a place where the weather is beautiful.
8. I'm grateful that I'm not shy and can easily talk to people.
9. I'm grateful that my parents are still alive.
10. I'm grateful for many beautiful memories from my past.
In rehab we just did 10 a day and that's all I can muster for today.
Thank you for reading.
I'm selfishly starting this thread and not posting on others continual threads because I need to hold myself accountable and remember to post as often as possible.
The reason for the depressing thread title is because I feel dead inside, and feel as if many people I love have given up on me. So I'm either dead to them or they are to me.
So here goes:
1. I'm grateful for the beautiful people who are still standing by me.
2. I'm grateful that websites like this exist
3. I'm grateful for clean drinking water
4. I'm grateful for Medicare
5. I'm grateful that drugs and alcohol haven't killed me.
6. I'm grateful I'm not physically disabled.
7. I'm grateful I live in a place where the weather is beautiful.
8. I'm grateful that I'm not shy and can easily talk to people.
9. I'm grateful that my parents are still alive.
10. I'm grateful for many beautiful memories from my past.
In rehab we just did 10 a day and that's all I can muster for today.
Thank you for reading.
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
What a great list, Ainslie.
I know what you mean by 'dead inside'. I had that same feeling for a while after getting sober, even though I was thankful to be free of it. Slowly, my feelings and hope returned. Yours will too.
I know what you mean by 'dead inside'. I had that same feeling for a while after getting sober, even though I was thankful to be free of it. Slowly, my feelings and hope returned. Yours will too.
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bali, Indonesia
Posts: 645
Originally Posted by Opivotal 
((Ainslie)) I'm glad to see you starting a Gratitude thread.
I support you and SR will never give up on you.
I support you and SR will never give up on you.
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bali, Indonesia
Posts: 645
Originally Posted by Hevyn
What a great list, Ainslie.
I know what you mean by 'dead inside'. I had that same feeling for a while after getting sober, even though I was thankful to be free of it. Slowly, my feelings and hope returned. Yours will too.
I know what you mean by 'dead inside'. I had that same feeling for a while after getting sober, even though I was thankful to be free of it. Slowly, my feelings and hope returned. Yours will too.
Yes I feel like I'm stuck in a rut, at other times I feel as if I have so many options and so much to look forward to.
Thank you both for your replies and support. It is much needed at the moment.
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bali, Indonesia
Posts: 645
Day 3
It's nearly 1am here (so day 3) and despite my medications I still can't sleep. And in tears
1. I'm grateful to have a bed to sleep in.
2. I'm grateful for a relatively painless biopsy today
3. I'm grateful for the people who check that I'm okay.
4. I'm grateful for the nice people I met today
5. I'm grateful that although I cry easily, I can laugh just as easily too.
6. I'm grateful for the bright side of life
7. I'm grateful for music
8. I'm grateful for everything everyone has done for me
9. I'm grateful I wasn't unhappy all day
10. I'm grateful for the people who love me, the ones who say it often don't mean it, but I know others still do.
1. I'm grateful to have a bed to sleep in.
2. I'm grateful for a relatively painless biopsy today
3. I'm grateful for the people who check that I'm okay.
4. I'm grateful for the nice people I met today
5. I'm grateful that although I cry easily, I can laugh just as easily too.
6. I'm grateful for the bright side of life
7. I'm grateful for music
8. I'm grateful for everything everyone has done for me
9. I'm grateful I wasn't unhappy all day
10. I'm grateful for the people who love me, the ones who say it often don't mean it, but I know others still do.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: New York
Posts: 35,731
I hope you can get some sleep, Ainslie. I've been struggling myself recently. My mind seems to go into overdrive as soon as my head hits the pillow.
Sending you a great big hug.
Glad your biopsy was painless and you had people to look in on you.
Hopefully, you have more laughter than tears today.
Sending you a great big hug.
Glad your biopsy was painless and you had people to look in on you.
Hopefully, you have more laughter than tears today.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bali, Indonesia
Posts: 645
Originally Posted by Opivotal
I hope you can get some sleep, Ainslie. I've been struggling myself recently. My mind seems to go into overdrive as soon as my head hits the pillow.
Sending you a great big hug.
Glad your biopsy was painless and you had people to look in on you.
Hopefully, you have more laughter than tears today.
Sending you a great big hug.
Glad your biopsy was painless and you had people to look in on you.
Hopefully, you have more laughter than tears today.
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bali, Indonesia
Posts: 645
Originally Posted by StellaBlu
Ainslie, Thank you for posting your gratitudes. It really helped me out today.
I'm sorry about how you're feeling. I'm trusting that it will get better.
Hugs to you.
I'm sorry about how you're feeling. I'm trusting that it will get better.
Hugs to you.
Last edited by Ainslie; 07-28-2018 at 06:17 PM. Reason: I always have more to say.
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bali, Indonesia
Posts: 645
1. I'm grateful for all of your support.
2. I'm grateful for NA.
3. I'm grateful for those who have hurt me in order to steer me in the right direction - whoever they are.
4. I'm grateful for technology even though it's way ahead of me.
5. I'm grateful I have a place to live and am not on the streets.
6. I'm grateful for sugar (even though I'll give it up eventually too.
7. I'm grateful that I am partially insane.
8. I'm grateful I have made it to day 6
9. I'm grateful for past lovers
10. I'm grateful that I have potential and given time, I can do many things in the future.
2. I'm grateful for NA.
3. I'm grateful for those who have hurt me in order to steer me in the right direction - whoever they are.
4. I'm grateful for technology even though it's way ahead of me.
5. I'm grateful I have a place to live and am not on the streets.
6. I'm grateful for sugar (even though I'll give it up eventually too.
7. I'm grateful that I am partially insane.
8. I'm grateful I have made it to day 6
9. I'm grateful for past lovers
10. I'm grateful that I have potential and given time, I can do many things in the future.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Bali, Indonesia
Posts: 645
1. Grateful for local support
2. Grateful for online support
3. Grateful for meetings
4. Grateful to have made it through another day
5. Grateful to feel safe where I'm staying
6. Grateful to be literate
7. Grateful for crazy wildlife around here
8. Grateful that my parents still stand by me
9. Grateful to know that while tomorrow won't be the best day of my life, it's unlikely to be the worst
10. Grateful that I've finally got my **** together enough to make a simple list/plan for the next week to sort out a more detailed course of action to get through the next tough 90 days.
2. Grateful for online support
3. Grateful for meetings
4. Grateful to have made it through another day
5. Grateful to feel safe where I'm staying
6. Grateful to be literate
7. Grateful for crazy wildlife around here
8. Grateful that my parents still stand by me
9. Grateful to know that while tomorrow won't be the best day of my life, it's unlikely to be the worst
10. Grateful that I've finally got my **** together enough to make a simple list/plan for the next week to sort out a more detailed course of action to get through the next tough 90 days.
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