Grateful to make living amends
Living in a Pinkful Place
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Grateful to make living amends
I often hear people ask what kind of amends would an alanon have to make, it's not like they ever got drunk and messed stuff up.
I calmly reply - you have no idea the amount of things I have messed up in my entire 44 yrs of living and I have never been drunk and never abused any type of mood alterning substance - no not ever - no pot, not even a cigarette.
But I have done some damage - with my anger, resentments, by making judgments based on emotions rather than facts . . .
Of course, my greatest and hardest amends is to my parents. It's hard to say to my parents I know that I didn't make the choices you wanted for me (without wanting to follow up with the statement, but you did a lot of things I did like or need either)
But it is about me and my garden of self - right?
So the past week - I was able to make a wonderful living amends - drove my Mom, granddaughter & niece to meet my Dad a couple of states away and then up to a family reunion on my Dad's side of the family.
The program of recovery has given me such a inner peace and calm - none of that childhood stuff really mattered - all that mattered is that I was able to share time with my parents, enjoy their company and help them do something they wanted to do.
Could they have done it without me? probably so, but my being there made it so much easier for them.
And I know the day will come when they are gone - once again I will be so grateful that they know today I love them and I'm proud to go anywhere with them.
I know it means a lot to them - but they have no idea how healing it is for me.
How much the very depth of my soul is filled with gratitude.
Thank you HP, thank you al-anon, thank you SR family.
Hugs and wishing you a heart filled with gratitude,
Rita
I calmly reply - you have no idea the amount of things I have messed up in my entire 44 yrs of living and I have never been drunk and never abused any type of mood alterning substance - no not ever - no pot, not even a cigarette.
But I have done some damage - with my anger, resentments, by making judgments based on emotions rather than facts . . .
Of course, my greatest and hardest amends is to my parents. It's hard to say to my parents I know that I didn't make the choices you wanted for me (without wanting to follow up with the statement, but you did a lot of things I did like or need either)
But it is about me and my garden of self - right?
So the past week - I was able to make a wonderful living amends - drove my Mom, granddaughter & niece to meet my Dad a couple of states away and then up to a family reunion on my Dad's side of the family.
The program of recovery has given me such a inner peace and calm - none of that childhood stuff really mattered - all that mattered is that I was able to share time with my parents, enjoy their company and help them do something they wanted to do.
Could they have done it without me? probably so, but my being there made it so much easier for them.
And I know the day will come when they are gone - once again I will be so grateful that they know today I love them and I'm proud to go anywhere with them.
I know it means a lot to them - but they have no idea how healing it is for me.
How much the very depth of my soul is filled with gratitude.
Thank you HP, thank you al-anon, thank you SR family.
Hugs and wishing you a heart filled with gratitude,
Rita
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