youngirish

I'm feeling happy and not anxious for the first time in I can't remember how long. I've made many attempts in the past to quit drinking always just to begin again. I was once labelled "poster child for keep coming back" at an AA meeting, lol. Anyway, theres a whole list of stuff I'm happy about. Some is gross. I'm gonna post it on here anyway cause I'm sure (or hoping) a few can relate, and I'll read it when that craving comes.
I'm grateful that in my short time of sobriety I have not..

1) Vomited to the point of purging bloody bile, smelly booze while simultaneously being incontinent of urine from the force of wretching.

2) "Danced" like I was auditioning to be a stripper/ninja at parties only to see the pictures the next day and wondering if I was having an epileptic fit (others wondering the same)

3) Blacked out and kicked in my new car. Still a mystery why I did this. Ruined the interior, kicked in all the vents, cd player, glove box, etc.

4)Broken into a friends house at 3 am to "cuddle" because I was feeling lonely and was too out of it to realize this was completely inappropriate. Then being picked up and thrown out the door by the same drinking buddy.

5)Drinking strangers booze at bars at last call when they werent looking because I wasnt quite "drunk enough".

6)Being told by others I hit on them, cried, got angry, punched something (or someone), screamed at someone for no reason, and having no recollection of it what so ever and wanting to die of embarrassment for weeks after.

7)Calling into work sick, or worse, not showing up at all, and using lame excuses such as "I'm on new sleeping pills that hit me hard". I'm a nurse. Suprised I havent been fired.

8) Abusing ativan to get rid of the shakes to the point of being called up to occupational health at work as my boss felt I was high (probably was).

9) Showing up to work stinking of a brewery, throwing up, telling people I just have the flu.

10)Just generally being an ugly person I am nothing like sober. Being drunk so often made me believe I was the person I'd become when drunk, when in fact, we have nothing in common. These are just a few of the things I'm grateful for today.

youngirish

I forgot to mention this forum. I'm not currently going to AA meetings and have vowed not to darker the doorstep of another one until I have at least 6 months of sobriety. I dont post much, just read what others have written and the advice and tips many of you have posted. I've commonly used things from here on ways to decline drinks, avoid situations, etc. I'm grateful for the people on here.

kelsh

Hi youngirish,

I am oldirish....was called Irish in high school as a nickname by one of my teachers that was also Irish.

You sound like you are doing a lot of thinking and being grateful. Many of the things you listed would be on my list too. :praising

My husband could not understand how I could start drinking the next day after vomiting all morning. If I could get one drink down...I would be good to go for the rest of the day though.

I am grateful that those days are gone. No more hangovers either. My life is pretty unexciting but I prefer them to drunken days.

Keep up the good work. I could not have quit going to my AA Meetings and stayed Sober. I hope you will go to a meeting if you have the urge to drink. :ghug2

kelsh

youngirish

Funny how things work. Today's Friday and it's usually harder not to drink on Friday for me. I was just focusing on getting through the night without drinking and was doing quite well, but still the little voice was there. Then my friend came over to play cards with me. I met her half way to my house which is through a park. I saw her coming and there was this guy with her, looking scary as hell, extremely disheveled and obviously overly intoxicated and drugged. She yelled "look what I found". It was a friend a I grew up with in elementary school. It was sad. Back then he was the sweetest guy in the world. I remember when we were kids him saving this dudes life when he fell through ice, my friend climed on his belly and got him. It also happened to be the guy that terrorized him at school all the time. Anywho, I've heard he's been in and out of jail, and there he was in all his glory. I tried to offer him water and stuff but all he wanted was booze. He was slurring, staggering, belligerent at times, had coke all over his face and looked insane. His presence scared the crap out of my dogs, and actually scared me a little too. My craving for alcohol, even though tolerable and small was gone the instant I realized who was walking towards me. It was kind of bittersweet. He's in a horrible place I'm familiar with, but I remained sober another day possibly helped by seeing him like that. He was such a sweetheart as a kid. It's strange how things happen sometimes.

Rusty Zipper

yirish, nice meeting you...

a good anti a-hole list you have there, loads to be grateful for...

you stil have the lampshade?

yirish let me take a stab at this one...

you were drunk! lol

hiya kelsh...

good wishes...

xxoo, rz