He pulled me back in and i feel so miserable
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2021
Posts: 128
He pulled me back in and i feel so miserable
A week ago i managed to give up and walk away from my on and off disaster of a relationship. My hearts broken from the suffering ive gone through. Basically ive bent over backwards to fill this mans life up with love and support. We met months after he gave up alcohol. The problem is he was dabbling in weed and crack and possibly abusing prescription drugs too. Ive been through so much and often come onto here to sound off my fears. For 3 months now ive known 100% who he fully is. All hope faded and i was left going through the motions of no sex life. Sitting together, eating, watching tele and going to bed. Waking up to go through the motions. Im often excited to leave and go away back to my own house.
in feb he spent a £6000 tax return in 3 weeks. I didnt see him as he avoided me and fell out with me over fresh air. Being ignored for 24 hours at a time not knowing if he was dead or cheating..as soon as he came back he wanted my help. Hes constantly in self pity mode. Angry, flat and depressed.
His flat feels secretive. Its like everytime i go round theres things that have appeared or dissapeared. Weird things like a brand new tea towel from a museum a few miles away. He made out hed had it years. But he hadnt. The village on the teatowel is so random. Its nothing hed choose to buy.
Theres a drawer under his bed. 6 months ago i had pjs, spare clothes, etc. He encouraged me to have my things there. I took it home gradually as we began to fight. Now its a forbidden drawer. When he goes to the shop i pull it out and see hes storing another mans clothes, drug equipment and other things. When he goes out i pull the kickboard forward in the kitchen and there sits his pipe,ready for his next fix. His bathroom often dirty now with signs of vomit.
A month ago a 19 year old rogue he knows got out of prison. He threw a stone up at his window to get his attention. The window is shattered. I have realised now that this lad is staying at the flat as someones using my netflix in his flat when my boyfriends at mine.
i ended it a week ago. He kept messaging and we both said angry stuff. Everytime i tried to say how i felt he hung up. He began to blame me for all our issues. Then he threatened to block me or overdose if i kept contacting him.
I stayed silent. I went to work. I came home. Silence. I didnt contact him. I felt ok. Half at peace. I went to bed to sleep some time away. 25 hours of silence. I saw him blocking and unblocking me on whatsapp. Then my phone pinged. It was him. Asking if he could come and talk to me the following day. Not one part of me wanted to but i said if he wanted to talk id listen. He came up. He didnt talk. He just cut my grass. Helped sort my shed. He sat on my sofa. He looked depressed and low. Asked me to buy him tobacco. He didn't hug me. Didnt explain. Didnt have a heart to heart. The next day he went home. He then turned up again claiming he lost his keys. He was moody. I was going out and he was affecting my plans. He hadnt had credit for weeks yet he managed to ring me. I challenged him on this. He said i was once again making him mad. I was starting on him. I was always starting about his phone, women, his daughter, his friend etc. I told him half the time nothing makes sense. He then said everyone who he knows who speaks to me has said im savage with my phone. This is so crazy as i am a calm peaceful person. Occasionally i talk to his daughters and cousin. They sometimes reach out to me too. His youngest daughters 24 and unwell with bipolar. I know hes painted me badly to her. But she does on and off speak to me depending on her illness. Ive always been kind to her and she reached out just last weekend as her dad wasnt replying to her. I pointed out to him that his cousin and both his kids reach out to me and check in and i find it hard to believe all of them have asked why im contacting them as more than half the time they are messaging me first.
Anyway he went off home after the rougue rang him. Answered the phone nice as pie to him. I think said rogue had stayed at his flat and gone off out with his keys and thats the real reason he came back.
Hes asked me to send him some food this morning.
I know he isnt the same person anymore. I dont like him and just want him to go away. How can he be so comfortable abusing me then taking my supplies.
in feb he spent a £6000 tax return in 3 weeks. I didnt see him as he avoided me and fell out with me over fresh air. Being ignored for 24 hours at a time not knowing if he was dead or cheating..as soon as he came back he wanted my help. Hes constantly in self pity mode. Angry, flat and depressed.
His flat feels secretive. Its like everytime i go round theres things that have appeared or dissapeared. Weird things like a brand new tea towel from a museum a few miles away. He made out hed had it years. But he hadnt. The village on the teatowel is so random. Its nothing hed choose to buy.
Theres a drawer under his bed. 6 months ago i had pjs, spare clothes, etc. He encouraged me to have my things there. I took it home gradually as we began to fight. Now its a forbidden drawer. When he goes to the shop i pull it out and see hes storing another mans clothes, drug equipment and other things. When he goes out i pull the kickboard forward in the kitchen and there sits his pipe,ready for his next fix. His bathroom often dirty now with signs of vomit.
A month ago a 19 year old rogue he knows got out of prison. He threw a stone up at his window to get his attention. The window is shattered. I have realised now that this lad is staying at the flat as someones using my netflix in his flat when my boyfriends at mine.
i ended it a week ago. He kept messaging and we both said angry stuff. Everytime i tried to say how i felt he hung up. He began to blame me for all our issues. Then he threatened to block me or overdose if i kept contacting him.
I stayed silent. I went to work. I came home. Silence. I didnt contact him. I felt ok. Half at peace. I went to bed to sleep some time away. 25 hours of silence. I saw him blocking and unblocking me on whatsapp. Then my phone pinged. It was him. Asking if he could come and talk to me the following day. Not one part of me wanted to but i said if he wanted to talk id listen. He came up. He didnt talk. He just cut my grass. Helped sort my shed. He sat on my sofa. He looked depressed and low. Asked me to buy him tobacco. He didn't hug me. Didnt explain. Didnt have a heart to heart. The next day he went home. He then turned up again claiming he lost his keys. He was moody. I was going out and he was affecting my plans. He hadnt had credit for weeks yet he managed to ring me. I challenged him on this. He said i was once again making him mad. I was starting on him. I was always starting about his phone, women, his daughter, his friend etc. I told him half the time nothing makes sense. He then said everyone who he knows who speaks to me has said im savage with my phone. This is so crazy as i am a calm peaceful person. Occasionally i talk to his daughters and cousin. They sometimes reach out to me too. His youngest daughters 24 and unwell with bipolar. I know hes painted me badly to her. But she does on and off speak to me depending on her illness. Ive always been kind to her and she reached out just last weekend as her dad wasnt replying to her. I pointed out to him that his cousin and both his kids reach out to me and check in and i find it hard to believe all of them have asked why im contacting them as more than half the time they are messaging me first.
Anyway he went off home after the rougue rang him. Answered the phone nice as pie to him. I think said rogue had stayed at his flat and gone off out with his keys and thats the real reason he came back.
Hes asked me to send him some food this morning.
I know he isnt the same person anymore. I dont like him and just want him to go away. How can he be so comfortable abusing me then taking my supplies.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Posts: 296
Hi Strawbz
He's comfortable taking, because you always give. I done the same with my son in the early days - then I became wise.
You are a cash/goods cow to him. When he needs money, or tobacco, or food - he comes running. Once he has what he wants, he ghosts you again.
Block and delete. Change your number if you have to, or he will continue to contact you when the chips are down. Don't make yourself an option.
Much Love
Bute x
He's comfortable taking, because you always give. I done the same with my son in the early days - then I became wise.
You are a cash/goods cow to him. When he needs money, or tobacco, or food - he comes running. Once he has what he wants, he ghosts you again.
Block and delete. Change your number if you have to, or he will continue to contact you when the chips are down. Don't make yourself an option.
Much Love
Bute x
Member
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 8,806
Originally Posted by Strawbz11 
How can he be so comfortable abusing me then taking my supplies.
You do know that there are people in the world that just don't care? He doesn't have the feelings you think he does. If he ever had them they are so drowned out by crack that they are undetectable.
He doesn't care. He's never going to care, no matter how much stuff and money you give him.
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