Hilde

Hello everyone,

I'm currently seeking some information and insight regarding a loved one who is currently in a rehabilitation center. I would greatly appreciate any input or experiences you can share.

To provide some context, I have had no contact with my boyfriend for the past four months. However, I am aware that he has been able to communicate with his family during this time, which brings me some relief. Prior to his admission, I was informed by him about the no-contact policy that would be in place during his stay. I understand the reasons behind this policy however I have not even received a letter or message thus far, which has been challenging for me.

Adding to my concerns, visitations have not been permitted for his family. I have been patiently waiting for an opportunity to provide support, but it seems that such arrangements have not been made available at this stage.

In light of these circumstances, I am seeking clarity regarding the no-contact policy. I am eager to know whether this lack of communication for the past four months is a personal choice made or if it is something dictated by the rehab center's policies. If any of you have experienced similar situations or have insights into how rehab centers typically handle communication, I would greatly appreciate your input.

My intention is to gather as much information as possible to better understand and extend support during his recovery journey. Any additional information, personal experiences, or advice regarding communication restrictions, their duration, and visitation policies would be of immense help to me.

Thank you all in advance for your kindness, support, and willingness to share your knowledge.

Troubledone

Hilde, I am sorry you are going through all this.

One way to find out if it is the rehab center policy is to call them.

My loved one who has been through 3 different rehab situations (including being committed) has never been given a no-contact order. If the family is not able to visit, the facility must have a reason.

Do you know the name of the facility? If so, I'd say call them and ask about the policy.

Some addicts reach out to family and friends with crazy stories to try to get them to help them escape the facility. My loved one told me there was someone there trying to kill her. Untrue, of course. This might be one reason for the no-contact. It is to help the addict focus on taking personal responsibility for their recovery. The very purpose of a rehab facility is to provide the necessary support for recovery, so you can rest assured he is in good hand.

All that said, this might be a time for you to think about what you want out of life, what your purpose and priorities are and to reconnect with your own higher power. Are you working a 12 step program?

Us codependents like to think that our support is critical for our loved one's recovery. Shocking truth - it is not. And sometimes a codependent's "support" can be the worst thing for an addict. Its because a codependent does not have the detached love necessary to mix support with an equal amount of truth.

I hope this helps and apologize if any of this seems to hard. My prayer for you is to find your purpose in life beyond fixing someone else.

Love and prayers

trailmix

Hi Hilde. What I know of rehab I have read on these forums. I have never heard of a complete blanket no-contact order (not to say there couldn't be). I mean generally for a week, maybe two, but never for months.

If he can contact his family, why can't he contact you?

I agree you should call the facility directly and ask them what their policies are.