Everyone that helped me here: I am forever grateful

Old 08-27-2019, 10:27 AM
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Everyone that helped me here: I am forever grateful

I just want to shout out to the wonderful women (and men) that have helped me along this journey we called life.
Sometimes we need the cold hard truth. Face it and tackle it the best we know how.
Survive the best we can for ourselves and our children.
All is still well with me and my sober heroin addict husband. He has 3 years and 7 months sober. He sponsors guys and still goes to his meetings. Maintains a 20+ number call list that he uses - all the time. I'm happy for him.
In the beginning he was gone every single night. I would get home from work and he would take the car and be out until 9-10pm at a meeting. Or a friend would pick him up. 100 meetings in 100 days and i'm pretty sure he did 120 meetings in those 100 days because he was so fearful he wouldn't hold on to it. He understood he was of the hopeless variety. He actually read the book and took other mens advice. He changed sponsors a few times now. He said sometimes you just need a fresh look at the 4th step and re-do the work. It's a lifetime commitment for him.
I also want to say that all I did to help was stay in my lane. Give him space to go to meetings. To not make him feel guilty for missing family events so he could go to meetings. BBQ's, birthdays, special events. Literally recovery has to come first, because if you don't have that you lose everything. It's not easy letting them go but letting them have a community (that you are not a part of) is part of the process of loving them. You have to let them go so you can have them at all.
Now, almost 4 years later - I just want to say i'm still so grateful for all the support that the people here offered me. I love you guys. I know how corny that sounds. I know I don't check in often, or comment.
Be blessed <3
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Old 08-27-2019, 10:42 AM
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Originally Posted by KeepinItReal View Post
I just want to shout out to the wonderful women (and men) that have helped me along this journey we called life.
Sometimes we need the cold hard truth. Face it and tackle it the best we know how.
Survive the best we can for ourselves and our children.
All is still well with me and my sober heroin addict husband. He has 3 years and 7 months sober. He sponsors guys and still goes to his meetings. Maintains a 20+ number call list that he uses - all the time. I'm happy for him.
In the beginning he was gone every single night. I would get home from work and he would take the car and be out until 9-10pm at a meeting. Or a friend would pick him up. 100 meetings in 100 days and i'm pretty sure he did 120 meetings in those 100 days because he was so fearful he wouldn't hold on to it. He understood he was of the hopeless variety. He actually read the book and took other mens advice. He changed sponsors a few times now. He said sometimes you just need a fresh look at the 4th step and re-do the work. It's a lifetime commitment for him.
I also want to say that all I did to help was stay in my lane. Give him space to go to meetings. To not make him feel guilty for missing family events so he could go to meetings. BBQ's, birthdays, special events. Literally recovery has to come first, because if you don't have that you lose everything. It's not easy letting them go but letting them have a community (that you are not a part of) is part of the process of loving them. You have to let them go so you can have them at all.
Now, almost 4 years later - I just want to say i'm still so grateful for all the support that the people here offered me. I love you guys. I know how corny that sounds. I know I don't check in often, or comment.
Be blessed <3
i absolutely LOVE hearing success stories. So happy for you!!! I wish they all turned out this well, however you are a lucky one - sending you lots of positive vibes that he continues to do so well!!!!
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Old 08-27-2019, 11:54 AM
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I was prepared for things not to work. I'm writing so others can see what the ADDICT has to do - and does. It's not what they say. It's what they do. Actions over words!!
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Old 08-27-2019, 12:44 PM
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Originally Posted by KeepinItReal View Post
I was prepared for things not to work. I'm writing so others can see what the ADDICT has to do - and does. It's not what they say. It's what they do. Actions over words!!
AMEN TO THAT - I always rationalized some of my addicts actions (recovering heroine addict, drinking again) even though I knew that drinking wasn’t going to be good for him (long run of alcoholism in his family) I convinced myself he was different *head palm

so happy for you, please congratulate your husband for me as well, that’s a MIRACLE as some would put it
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Old 08-27-2019, 01:24 PM
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Ann
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I also want to say that all I did to help was stay in my lane. Give him space to go to meetings. To not make him feel guilty for missing family events so he could go to meetings. BBQ's, birthdays, special events. Literally recovery has to come first, because if you don't have that you lose everything.
Wise words, well said. I am so happy for both of you and glad that he has chosen a good path, a plan for his recovery that will grow even stronger over time.

Thank you for sharing good news.
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Old 08-27-2019, 01:47 PM
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Thank you for checking in!!! We love you back!

I am so happy to hear he is doing so well. That behavior is what shining recovery looks like. I am also so glad to hear you are doing so well!

Good stuff!!!!
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