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Old 07-09-2019, 09:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Advice to tell newly sober boyfriend??


Hi everyone! So my boyfriend is newly sober and I just had a question to others. He has brought up about having cravings. (Which is shocking because he hasnít been the most talkative or close through this) For someone who has never been an addict and grew up with an addict as their parent Iím really not sure what to say to someone in the sober realm of things. What would you want to hear? What have you said that wasnít enabling or hurtful? It seems like a hard line to walk!
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Old 07-09-2019, 09:38 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AutumnIsHere View Post
Hi everyone! So my boyfriend is newly sober and I just had a question to others. He has brought up about having cravings. (Which is shocking because he hasnít been the most talkative or close through this) For someone who has never been an addict and grew up with an addict as their parent Iím really not sure what to say to someone in the sober realm of things. What would you want to hear? What have you said that wasnít enabling or hurtful? It seems like a hard line to walk!

Hi Autumn and welcome. You might also want to check out the Friends and Family of Alcoholics forum here:

https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ly-alcoholics/

No doubt there are a lot of threads there you will relate to.

If you want to know how it feels, perhaps you can just ask him? It almost sounds like you are walking on eggshells a bit? He's still your boyfriend and you can still talk to him like you normally do, true?
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Old 07-10-2019, 09:45 AM   #3 (permalink)
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well, as you have no experience with addiction, your best choice is to just acknowledge his comments without actually advising or telling him what he should DO. you are not his counselor or therapist and it is important to remember that and not fall into that role.
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Old 07-10-2019, 11:36 AM   #4 (permalink)
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I agree with Anvil that you should just acknowledge his feelings & let him know that you are there IF he wants to talk about it. Have you mentioned this website to him? Is he going to AA at all? The most comfort I've found is talking with other addicts working towards the same goal. Someone who understands just how much of an accomplishment it is to drive past a liquor store without stopping or to come out of a grocery store without wine. Something that non-addicts wouldn't think twice about.
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Old 07-15-2019, 08:26 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Don't we all both want to quit something and don't want to quit it?

I want to lose weight but that Chocolate cake looks so good... Both decisions have their attractive and unattractive attributes.

In the end it is me who decides which one I really want.

I agree with others. It is good to just listen. It is up to him to decide if he wants a sober life.

Prayers for his ongoing recovery.
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