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Injustice and resentments

Old 05-05-2019, 06:56 PM
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Injustice and resentments

My siblings are 50s and 60s. It's obvious that 2 siblings have chronic untreated substance abuse. The other is clean but very superficial. I have had much hardship and violent assault etc.because this family was never there for me. Plus 2 using siblings are very abusive.
They are all trying to get big money from mother with invalid husband. I think she knows they are addicts. The non-addict sister has always tried oneupsmanship and clearly thinks she is better than me and entitled. I am completely appalled at their behavior and how they could allow this to happen to their sister. I struggle with PTSD, extreme loss and resentments at the injustice of it all. I think my mother is an old lady that sees it all now and wants to make right. Am I supposed to be better than this? Most people wouldn't be alive. Most people wouldn't be clean and sober.
Clean and sober 12 years.
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Old 05-07-2019, 07:21 AM
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Clean and sober 12 years. Twelve years of your own hard work and dedication to yourself. Bravo!

Sometimes you have to realize that just because you are related by blood does not make someone your family. Sometimes they are just too toxic to have a relationship with. At that time, find other people to build true and meaningful relationships with, they don't have to be blood to be family.

No one can take this away from you. You did it. For you. Don't look to them to get you through it.

Well done!
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Old 05-09-2019, 03:52 PM
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Wise words above by Hope. Congratulations on 12 years, you fought to get this far, I suspect you are stronger and braver and wiser than you give yourself credit for.

We cannot make others think/do/understand/feel regret/ or live any differently than they choose. I tried for years to change my son but in the end I had to save myself from his darkness.

If your family has chaos, then maybe keep a safe distance and only communicate in short periods of time. If they are toxic, it's best to avoid them as much as you can.

We can't change others but we CAN change ourselves and decide what is and isn't healthy for our lives.

Good luck.
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Old 05-09-2019, 08:25 PM
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My heart goes out to you.

Seeing the constant dysfunction of family while trying to have some kind of reasonable life is always so hard. Congratulations on your accomplishments - you have fought the battle and strengthened yourself. And I don't know what you could possibly do to make the situation better because the people who must choose better are not doing so. But you are choosing better.

I heard a quote the other day - "you didn't fail, it's just time to let go" Oddly, it was on a TV show but it just jumped out at me because I have a whole set of crazy family members (addicted and not) that do stupid things over and over. I love them and have concern for them, but they never seem to learn despite my best efforts. So - maybe one way to let go of the resentment is to realize, you have not failed in any way - it might just be time to let go of it all.

For me, resentment is always a sign I have more to let go of.

Best wishes and prayers.
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Old 05-29-2019, 07:25 PM
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I've seen similar scenarios. Since addicts lack impulse control when 'money' comes up it is another 'drug' they can't resist. Also most addicts/alcoholics spend so much on their habit looking for money is second nature to them. They are like an animal in the wild looking for prey. I've seen the alcoholic's demeanor and personality change when he knows to there is cash to be had. And has talked about his inheritance long before someone died going so far as to complain when renovations/upgrades weren't included in the repairs of a house and/or car they would inherit.

Stay strong and next year post a comment saying you were 13 years sober. Addicts will eventually succumb to their greed and substance. Karma already has their fate on the schedule. Worry about improving your fate.
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