Ann

I tripped over this old reading this morning and reading it, I realized that it is as relevant in my life today as it was when I first read it. My circumstances have changed, my way of thinking has changed too, I think. Yet too often I forget that I get to choose what is and what is not good for me in my life.

For me, changing means making a plan, when I am calm and feel good it's easier to make a plan for what to do when I am angry, than try to form the plan when I AM angry.

Time for some spring cleaning in the mind of Ann.

This is an old lesson, but it bears repeating and remembering. We don’t have to let anyone control our lives, our choices, our joy.

No matter how well we thought we learned that lesson, it often reappears. Another person starts to pull our strings. We get involved, entangled, hooked in. We hear ourselves singing an old tune—If only she would, if only he wouldn’t, then I would be… We realize that once again we have given up too much control. We have deferred our lives to the wishes, whims, and choices of another.

Yes, if we are living fully, we will have reactions to those around us. Our relationships will help shape us, teach us things. And yes, there are times we are so connected to others, love them so much, that their path does affect ours.

But we don’t have to let another person control our choices, our behaviors, or our lives.

Maybe she will. Maybe he won’t.

But what about you? What do you want? What course of action feels right for you, for your life? Do you want to assign responsibility for whether you take that course to another? Do you really?

Sometimes, no matter how much you love others, it’s time to let go, time to let them walk their path. Time to realize that it is your responsibility to walk your own.

Go in love. Go in peace. Go in gentle power.

You are responsible for your life. You are responsible for your choices. It doesn’t matter what the other person does. You are still responsible for you.

Take care of yourself, then take it one step further. Love, nurture, honor, and respect yourself.

Only you can decide what you’re going to do.

From the desk of Melody Beattie
Originally posted December 4, 2014

trailmix

That's an important message Ann, thanks for posting it.

Free2bme888

Great post!

PhoenixJ

Good share, thank you Ann.

AnvilheadII

makes me think of the line from Dirty Dancing....

Nobody puts Baby in a corner.

Anaya

More to think about ^^ and to try and incorporate into my life. So meaningful and inspiring

Thank you, Ann, for this wonderful share and for the inspiration.

Ann

I grew up in a "go along to get along" world. Not to be cool but to just "be" like other people. It took some real effort to be the odd one out.

Mostly it wasn't about how it affected other people or how other people affected me, it was about respecting my ability to make my own decisions and choices and then living with the results.

I learned that it's possible, even nice, to be alone without being lonely, I learned to stand for what I believe, even when I stood alone. And I learned that when I took time to think about what was truly right for me, I was usually on a good path and could go forward in confidence.

"Doing your own thing" can free you from a lot of old ways that are best left behind.

PhoenixJ

wisely shared

Ann

I love this!

Troubledone

Anne

Thanks for this post. It comes at a really good time for me, and while I've been on a long journey and have learned to set boundaries and all that, this reminder is timely as I am going through another level of letting go.

thanks!