Should I press charges
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
It hurts to leave and start again...but that hurt heals in time and sets you free.
It hurts to stay and have all this repeated over and over, that hurt never heals because the scab keeps getting knocked off.
Your life won't change until you say it will, until then you are caught in the illusion of having any control over what he does. I know because I've been there.
Please don't dig this hole any deeper, put down the shovel and save yourself. You're worth it, really you are.
It hurts to stay and have all this repeated over and over, that hurt never heals because the scab keeps getting knocked off.
Your life won't change until you say it will, until then you are caught in the illusion of having any control over what he does. I know because I've been there.
Please don't dig this hole any deeper, put down the shovel and save yourself. You're worth it, really you are.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,393
I think it would be a waste of your time to try and press charges since you really have no case. You’ve willingly let him have access to everything that’s in your name (place to live, car, money, food, etc) for how long now? Don’t know how you can call that “stealing” when you have been the enabler allowing it for so long. Trying to press charges doesn’t mean you’ll all of a sudden be able to pay your bills. Sounds like he’s backed you into a corner where the equity loan is your only way out to pay your bills. Make sure a changed set of house locks come with it or you can kiss all that goodbye, too. You hold the key to change and betterment for your situation and for the life of me cannot fathom why you won’t use it. What’s the bottom of the barrel for you? Are you scraping it yet? Will it be when your utilities are shut off? You car impounded due to 1000’s in unpaid parking tickets? Your house foreclosed due to non-payment? You lose your job being so stressed out and “behind” all the time bc of him? ALL OF THE ABOVE (which could happen very quickly and in short order of each other)? I would feel very “HURT”, too. Kick the bum to the side and move on already.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
Hi OT. I am sorry you are feeling bad. A big part of my recovery from codependency was learning to sit with and through uncomfortable feelings. It was the only way I could learn that they were temporary, survivable, and not something I needed to "Fix" with yet another unhealthy relationship.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
part of adulthood and maturity is the ability to spend time alone and be perfectly ok. to actually enjoy one's own company. otherwise we are DEPENDENT upon others to meet our needs, entertain us.
did you press charges? is he now GONE from your life?
did you press charges? is he now GONE from your life?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,235
I don't have my kids tonight and am so sad and lonely.
I spent a lot of time in public places, like the bookstore, so I would feel less isolated. I once spent an entire holiday afternoon on a park bench, chatting up anybody who sat next to me. One family even shared their fried chicken with me. Maybe they felt sorry for me, perhaps they even enjoyed the conversation I had with them, but I have to tell you it was by far the best damned fried chicken I ever had.
I didn't have a boyfriend, and none of my family and friends were with me because they were busy doing other things (which of course made me feel abandoned and unwanted), but on that day, even though I started off lonely, I ended up feeling OK. I wish I could have had another chance to repeat my gratitude and tell that family, especially the mom, how much their kindness meant to me.
You can be connected to the world and its kindness without him - you just have to figure out how.
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