Is the addict lying or in denial about how their addiction?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 48
Is the addict lying or in denial about how their addiction?
Are they truly in denial of how bad their addiction is along with all their bad choices, harmful behaviors or
is it very obvious to them but they prefer to lie and blame you instead hoping you will buy their nonsense and fix the damage they know they caused.
can you tell if they are truly in denial or not??
is it very obvious to them but they prefer to lie and blame you instead hoping you will buy their nonsense and fix the damage they know they caused.
can you tell if they are truly in denial or not??
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Is the addict lying or in denial about how their addiction?
Once we accept that, we no longer put any importance on their accusations that "WE" are the cause of their addiction, "WE" just don't understand, "WE" need to change because "WE'RE" crazy"...and of course, we are not. "WE" have no power over their addiction, that's something else that's hard to accept. It was an illusion for me to think that anything I did or did not do would change my son or his addiction to drugs. Only he can do that, if and when he is ready and not one moment before. For my son, it's been about 15 years total, he's been missing the past 10, lost in his addiction somewhere. I start my day in prayer, asking God to do for my son what I cannot, and then I live my day in faith that God and my son have this covered.
What helped me and many here to find our balance and sanity again was to go to meetings and learn to take our focus off our addicted loved one and put it back on ourselves and to live a healthy life regardless of how our addicted loved one is doing. Al-anon, Nar-anon and CoDA (my personal home group) are three similar fellowships and there are meetings in almost every town and city. Maybe check out your area meetings and make a plan to visit a couple as see if they don't help you too.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 980
Hi
In my experience, yes she was truly totally in denial concerning her addictions. She had to tell herself through her denial that what she was doing was / is ok. That is where the lying starts. They are lying to themselves.
From there lying becomes a way of life, They have to lie to everyone to hide the truth of who they are & what they do. Mine lied constantly to everyone including me.
Thanks
In my experience, yes she was truly totally in denial concerning her addictions. She had to tell herself through her denial that what she was doing was / is ok. That is where the lying starts. They are lying to themselves.
From there lying becomes a way of life, They have to lie to everyone to hide the truth of who they are & what they do. Mine lied constantly to everyone including me.
Thanks
Originally Posted by needuall 
Are they truly in denial of how bad their addiction is along with all their bad choices, harmful behaviors or
is it very obvious to them but they prefer to lie and blame you instead hoping you will buy their nonsense and fix the damage they know they caused.
can you tell if they are truly in denial or not??
is it very obvious to them but they prefer to lie and blame you instead hoping you will buy their nonsense and fix the damage they know they caused.
can you tell if they are truly in denial or not??
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 249
Yes. My AH has repeatedly told me that I stress him out which causes him to do cocaine. He also has told me that he doesn't have a problem and also denies doing it. Everything he says it's a contradiction and it's very hard to follow his logic.
When presented with proof of his behaviour, he has an excuse (he drove drunk and if I didn't rent the car, then there would have been no car to drive). It's very hard to keep up with everything he says.
He lies all the time, then when caught he blames me for doing it because I always get angry when he is honest with me.
It just got too much.
When presented with proof of his behaviour, he has an excuse (he drove drunk and if I didn't rent the car, then there would have been no car to drive). It's very hard to keep up with everything he says.
He lies all the time, then when caught he blames me for doing it because I always get angry when he is honest with me.
It just got too much.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
we all tell ourselves lies on some level....little lies, big lies. and we all have at least certain spots where we see what we want to see, or remember what we want to remember, which are not based on facts.
addicts are no different. they are just louder about it. they are defending and protecting their drug use, at all costs. if they can make it seem like it's someone else's fault, all the better. if they can make someone believe their tall tales, their excuses, their outright lies, better still. if they have to promise things they do not mean, or state udying love they do not feel, so be it.
addicts are no different. they are just louder about it. they are defending and protecting their drug use, at all costs. if they can make it seem like it's someone else's fault, all the better. if they can make someone believe their tall tales, their excuses, their outright lies, better still. if they have to promise things they do not mean, or state udying love they do not feel, so be it.
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,146
Yes both. They lie to themselves and their whole life becomes a lie. They live in denial of the truth, that what they are doing is hurting themselves. So they have no problem with actions that cause harm, or at least they tell themselves that it won't really hurt you or them or anyone else if they act the way they act.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: America
Posts: 4,136
I think denial IS type of lie...it's based in dishonesty just likes lies are...I think if we were all honest we would admit we all have areas within us that contain some denial about certain aspects of our lives too. Just my thoughts....
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 72
Yeah they are in denial. They can lose everything and anything, and it will be someone else's fault. It's never their fault. They are always the victim. They have to believe the lies they tell everyone and themselves in order to sleep at night, and then they get high to push away the burdening guilt. Its a horrible vicious cycle, and a horrible way to live.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 60
Originally Posted by Soulful
Yes. My AH has repeatedly told me that I stress him out which causes him to do cocaine. He also has told me that he doesn't have a problem and also denies doing it. Everything he says it's a contradiction and it's very hard to follow his logic.
When presented with proof of his behaviour, he has an excuse (he drove drunk and if I didn't rent the car, then there would have been no car to drive). It's very hard to keep up with everything he says.
He lies all the time, then when caught he blames me for doing it because I always get angry when he is honest with me.
It just got too much.
When presented with proof of his behaviour, he has an excuse (he drove drunk and if I didn't rent the car, then there would have been no car to drive). It's very hard to keep up with everything he says.
He lies all the time, then when caught he blames me for doing it because I always get angry when he is honest with me.
It just got too much.
I genuinely think that sometimes he believed his lies to himself so much that it was no longer a lie (denial).
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