It's like he is a totally different person !
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Join Date: Oct 2017
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It's like he is a totally different person !
I was dating this guy for two for two years. I the last two months of the relationship he completely changed ! We moved to Another state together and he were living together . I was supporting him and pushing him in his career. I was like his little cheerleader. I was buying him books and motivating him . I would tell him to try his best and ignore everyone else . I would even call my mum up and have him speak to her , so she could tell him about how my dad succeeded .Every time he came home from work he had a big meal made . Because he was just starting out in his career I was paying majority of the rent .I basically cared a lot for him . we were doing good and everything was fine . He would even tell me he wants to marry me . He would tell me I'm the best thing that happened to him . Then he started hanging out with this guy and I become second place . He would go out and come home at 6am in the morning . I wouldn't hear anything from him . He would leave the house at 10 or 11 am and don't come home till the next day after 6 am . He turned into this dick ! He would tell me that I'm acting crazy because his friends girls doesn't mind when the Come home the next day . Then after that he wouldn't come home for two days sometimes . He was no longer calling or texting me . He was not longer the same caring person . When I told him that my dad use to treat my mum the same way he laughed and left anyway . He would come and take a shower , get changed and then leave . He would purposely start an arguments and then say he doesn't want to talk about it and leave . He would call me a bitch and a hoe . When he would finally come home he would look like **** , and look tired . He told me that it hurt when he swallowed at one point . That he hasn't been eating because of it . I thought it was just because he was drinking a lot . Well I found out he was doing Coke again. I'm not a drug user or anything but idk I'd that explains his rapid change . Like he would say no guy wants a girl that stays at home , how he can't teach me how to be in a relationship, he should have walked away from this relationship in the beginning, how I'm inexperienced and too young , there is no reason for him to come home , I don't know how to handle a guy like him , he called me a bitch and a hoe a couple of times. He was being very aggressive and tried to have sex with me even though I said no . Then told me he could just pay a homeless girl outside his job for sex .
On multiple occasions I said I we should separate and both times he told me no and that he wants to be with me and doesn't want to lose me . We went to Europe for two weeks and I was going to cancel my trip , he told me no . He wants to go with me . He even yelled at his mum telling her that she is the reason why I'm canceling my trip . In the end I went , but I was going to stay in a hotel , he told me no , to cancel my hotel because he wants to be with me . On vacation it was like he was back to himself . He was caring for me , telling me how much he missed me . Telling me that there is no one else for him then me . Sending me heart emojis and kisses . Cuddling and kissing with me . Taking me on trips to meet his child hood friends . Meeting his best friends and wife . It was like he was finally back . While on vacation we were talking and I told him to think what he wants cause I don't want to go back to America to the same situation. He told me he wants to be with me and there is no one else . It was like he was this guy that I fell for again. Smiling and being caring . Then when we got back to America it lasted for 4 days . Then he came home at 6am again . This time he texted and said he was sorry and rushed home . He brought home workout tshirts and said we should workout together . I was mad so I didn't say anything . I went to work came home and yet again he wasn't home . He didn't come home till after 2 am this time .
He would tell me thinks like we are not compatible and how he wants to go on hikes and wilderness. He wants to do out door actives and all I do is stay at home . He wants to go to bars and I don't . He would tell me that I don't want a family and he does, he wants to have a family ( I never said I didn't want a family ). All of a sudden it was me why the relationship wasn't working, not because he was doing drugs .He would say that he is 30 and want to enjoy life and occasionally do Coke until he gets married and have kids then he will stop . So all of a sudden there were things wrong in the relationship.
Before we went on vacation he spent two nights out . He was at this new friends place house and was getting drunk , partying and doing drugs . The Friday before our vacation , he came home looking like **** and begging me to stay home with him . He was complaining about how bad he felt and saying that he really needs me and how he wants me to stay home with him . He was hugging me and holding my hand , telling me how much he wanted me to stay with him and take care of him . When I refused cause I had enough ( the night before I called and begged him to come home . Was crying on the phone with him and he refused to come home saying he can't drive . I even offered to pay for an uber for him to come home and just hung up the phone and said he will be home tomorrow). So when he noticed I didn't care , was getting dressed to go out , he started saying I'm dressing like a hoe and calling me a hoe . He turned into this jerk again . The next day( day of our trip ) he was suppose to go to work but instead he called off . He got dresssed and went to this friends house . All of a sudden he came home made like an hour before we had to leave saying he can't believe the guy asked him for money and he made a mistake . He looked soo high and eyes were red . He said he had to go smoke weed to mellow out .
When we got back from the trip he brought back two big bottles of alcohol from the trip . He drunk both bottles by himself in 1-2 weeks . He was taking a shots before work and drinking after work . Then when though we're finish he was buying bottles of wine every night . I finally said I'm done because he would go out and not come home . Then say things like oh why didn't you tell me you were cooking , I would have came home (because I use to tell him and send pics ). Or he would come home and ask me if I'm ok . He even called me and texted me saying he wanted to check up on me . Then at one point he texted me and said he was going to sober up and come home . It was like he was trying but then every time he was home he would tell me we are not compatible and list all my flaws . He would say that I'm too good for him and all his friends says I'm too good for him too . He would say all this stuff and then ask me what are we going to do . Finally I had enough crying and not sleeping. So I broke up with him the next morning when I woke up . His response was "how did you come to that conclusion?" As if he was totally lost about the situation and had no clue what was going on !
Then the next day he text me and said he was a mess and not to judge him when I come home. I walked in and he was doing Coke all day . He did Coke on the kitchen counter. He told me he was crying all day and spoke with his friend on the phone . He said I'm the only one he can trust . When I didn't say anything he took a shower and got dressed . Took some Coke off the counter . I told him I would never get back with him after seeing that . He looked at me with this little baby face and then left . He came back later and did Coke again before leaving again . I didn't see him again till I came home from work the next day . This day I opened the door to my apartment to see a girl standing there at the counter . He just looked at me , drink his beer and went in the living room . The girl told me she is his gf !!! I asked this girl to leave my apartment multiple times and she just kept saying "we are about to leave" then he was saying the same thing in the background. Finally I grabbed her by the arm to throw her out and a fight broke out . After the fight he left with her . Then he came back and told me I didn't have to attack her . They were about to leave and she has a right to be there because his name is on the lease . Not only did he do that and leave me in the apartment (gf of two years ) by myself and leave with the girl but he also called my mum and told her that a fight broke out , and told my mum that she knows we were just Roomate's for a while now . Which was a complete lie . He also told her he does Coke occasionally!!!
I don't know how drugs work or anything but it's crazy that he doesn't believe he cheated , he honestly believes he did nothing wrong and how we were over for a while because I'm crazy enough to live with my ex !
He called the police on me and said he was scared and didn't what know I was going to do . He also came back into the apartment before the police came and grabbed Some drug from his side of the night stand . The drug was off yellow and looked like a rock wrapped in plastic .
In the space of a 1 month he turned into this lying , cheating jerk ! It's crazy how fast he changed ! I went from being his priority and number one to partying and getting wasted becoming his priority! It's crazy because I truly loved him .I honestly believed he loved me because even in the two months when **** went down he was still talking to his mum about me and telling her how much he liked me and the things that I do . He was sooo excited when we came home from vacation and his mum said she really liked me . His face lit up . But then he started hanging with this guy again . But as soon as he got to hanging out with these people he changed in a second all of a sudden he was partying , coming home at 6 am and doing drugs ! It was so bad at the end that everyday he had a drink in his hand. I never taken drugs in my life but does Coke / crack change you that much ? Literally he was a different person in the last two months of or relationship. It was like a switch went on and all of a sudden he was this jerk ! They end of the relationship ended so quickly it was like a blur ! He wouldn't pick up his phone or answer texts . All of a sudden I had all these flaws and things wrong with me. I became the reason the relationship wasn't working . Also , I called his mom and told her everything and apparently she has been sending him money because He told her lies . Also when I would tell the mom everything she would just say " oh he is emotional" or " oh he doesn't know where he wants to be thats why" like she would make excuses for him and continue sending him money .
Not only that but two weeks after I broke up with him . He Is on fb saying he loves this new girl he cheated on me with and announcing there relationship. Some time after that he stole money from me even though he has a new gf ! Does addicts not have any feelings? Does he sound like an addict ?
On multiple occasions I said I we should separate and both times he told me no and that he wants to be with me and doesn't want to lose me . We went to Europe for two weeks and I was going to cancel my trip , he told me no . He wants to go with me . He even yelled at his mum telling her that she is the reason why I'm canceling my trip . In the end I went , but I was going to stay in a hotel , he told me no , to cancel my hotel because he wants to be with me . On vacation it was like he was back to himself . He was caring for me , telling me how much he missed me . Telling me that there is no one else for him then me . Sending me heart emojis and kisses . Cuddling and kissing with me . Taking me on trips to meet his child hood friends . Meeting his best friends and wife . It was like he was finally back . While on vacation we were talking and I told him to think what he wants cause I don't want to go back to America to the same situation. He told me he wants to be with me and there is no one else . It was like he was this guy that I fell for again. Smiling and being caring . Then when we got back to America it lasted for 4 days . Then he came home at 6am again . This time he texted and said he was sorry and rushed home . He brought home workout tshirts and said we should workout together . I was mad so I didn't say anything . I went to work came home and yet again he wasn't home . He didn't come home till after 2 am this time .
He would tell me thinks like we are not compatible and how he wants to go on hikes and wilderness. He wants to do out door actives and all I do is stay at home . He wants to go to bars and I don't . He would tell me that I don't want a family and he does, he wants to have a family ( I never said I didn't want a family ). All of a sudden it was me why the relationship wasn't working, not because he was doing drugs .He would say that he is 30 and want to enjoy life and occasionally do Coke until he gets married and have kids then he will stop . So all of a sudden there were things wrong in the relationship.
Before we went on vacation he spent two nights out . He was at this new friends place house and was getting drunk , partying and doing drugs . The Friday before our vacation , he came home looking like **** and begging me to stay home with him . He was complaining about how bad he felt and saying that he really needs me and how he wants me to stay home with him . He was hugging me and holding my hand , telling me how much he wanted me to stay with him and take care of him . When I refused cause I had enough ( the night before I called and begged him to come home . Was crying on the phone with him and he refused to come home saying he can't drive . I even offered to pay for an uber for him to come home and just hung up the phone and said he will be home tomorrow). So when he noticed I didn't care , was getting dressed to go out , he started saying I'm dressing like a hoe and calling me a hoe . He turned into this jerk again . The next day( day of our trip ) he was suppose to go to work but instead he called off . He got dresssed and went to this friends house . All of a sudden he came home made like an hour before we had to leave saying he can't believe the guy asked him for money and he made a mistake . He looked soo high and eyes were red . He said he had to go smoke weed to mellow out .
When we got back from the trip he brought back two big bottles of alcohol from the trip . He drunk both bottles by himself in 1-2 weeks . He was taking a shots before work and drinking after work . Then when though we're finish he was buying bottles of wine every night . I finally said I'm done because he would go out and not come home . Then say things like oh why didn't you tell me you were cooking , I would have came home (because I use to tell him and send pics ). Or he would come home and ask me if I'm ok . He even called me and texted me saying he wanted to check up on me . Then at one point he texted me and said he was going to sober up and come home . It was like he was trying but then every time he was home he would tell me we are not compatible and list all my flaws . He would say that I'm too good for him and all his friends says I'm too good for him too . He would say all this stuff and then ask me what are we going to do . Finally I had enough crying and not sleeping. So I broke up with him the next morning when I woke up . His response was "how did you come to that conclusion?" As if he was totally lost about the situation and had no clue what was going on !
Then the next day he text me and said he was a mess and not to judge him when I come home. I walked in and he was doing Coke all day . He did Coke on the kitchen counter. He told me he was crying all day and spoke with his friend on the phone . He said I'm the only one he can trust . When I didn't say anything he took a shower and got dressed . Took some Coke off the counter . I told him I would never get back with him after seeing that . He looked at me with this little baby face and then left . He came back later and did Coke again before leaving again . I didn't see him again till I came home from work the next day . This day I opened the door to my apartment to see a girl standing there at the counter . He just looked at me , drink his beer and went in the living room . The girl told me she is his gf !!! I asked this girl to leave my apartment multiple times and she just kept saying "we are about to leave" then he was saying the same thing in the background. Finally I grabbed her by the arm to throw her out and a fight broke out . After the fight he left with her . Then he came back and told me I didn't have to attack her . They were about to leave and she has a right to be there because his name is on the lease . Not only did he do that and leave me in the apartment (gf of two years ) by myself and leave with the girl but he also called my mum and told her that a fight broke out , and told my mum that she knows we were just Roomate's for a while now . Which was a complete lie . He also told her he does Coke occasionally!!!
I don't know how drugs work or anything but it's crazy that he doesn't believe he cheated , he honestly believes he did nothing wrong and how we were over for a while because I'm crazy enough to live with my ex !
He called the police on me and said he was scared and didn't what know I was going to do . He also came back into the apartment before the police came and grabbed Some drug from his side of the night stand . The drug was off yellow and looked like a rock wrapped in plastic .
In the space of a 1 month he turned into this lying , cheating jerk ! It's crazy how fast he changed ! I went from being his priority and number one to partying and getting wasted becoming his priority! It's crazy because I truly loved him .I honestly believed he loved me because even in the two months when **** went down he was still talking to his mum about me and telling her how much he liked me and the things that I do . He was sooo excited when we came home from vacation and his mum said she really liked me . His face lit up . But then he started hanging with this guy again . But as soon as he got to hanging out with these people he changed in a second all of a sudden he was partying , coming home at 6 am and doing drugs ! It was so bad at the end that everyday he had a drink in his hand. I never taken drugs in my life but does Coke / crack change you that much ? Literally he was a different person in the last two months of or relationship. It was like a switch went on and all of a sudden he was this jerk ! They end of the relationship ended so quickly it was like a blur ! He wouldn't pick up his phone or answer texts . All of a sudden I had all these flaws and things wrong with me. I became the reason the relationship wasn't working . Also , I called his mom and told her everything and apparently she has been sending him money because He told her lies . Also when I would tell the mom everything she would just say " oh he is emotional" or " oh he doesn't know where he wants to be thats why" like she would make excuses for him and continue sending him money .
Not only that but two weeks after I broke up with him . He Is on fb saying he loves this new girl he cheated on me with and announcing there relationship. Some time after that he stole money from me even though he has a new gf ! Does addicts not have any feelings? Does he sound like an addict ?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 635
Originally Posted by NeverAgain17 
Does he sound like an addict ?
A crack addict.
Scary stuff.
As far as I can understand, no, addicts do not have feelings when they're using.
This guy is dangerous- not only because of what he is exposing you to, but because of the intense gaslighting and manipulation he is working on you. Look at how angry he's making you. I'll bet he enjoyed the heck out of watching two girls fight over him. And now he's trying to get you in trouble for it. You could easily wind up in jail if you don't get out of this situation now.
I'm so sorry, though. It is an awful feeling. A lot of us have been there in one way or another, though our stories are different. Takes the rug out right from under you, and while we're struggling to keep it all together the world keeps right on spinning. There will still be bills to pay and laundry to do. But you'll get through it and you will be a stronger, better person.
Good luck to you.
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 17
Originally Posted by Hechosedrugs
Abso-f###ing-lutely.
A crack addict.
Scary stuff.
As far as I can understand, no, addicts do not have feelings when they're using.
This guy is dangerous- not only because of what he is exposing you to, but because of the intense gaslighting and manipulation he is working on you. Look at how angry he's making you. I'll bet he enjoyed the heck out of watching two girls fight over him. And now he's trying to get you in trouble for it. You could easily wind up in jail if you don't get out of this situation now.
I'm so sorry, though. It is an awful feeling. A lot of us have been there in one way or another, though our stories are different. Takes the rug out right from under you, and while we're struggling to keep it all together the world keeps right on spinning. There will still be bills to pay and laundry to do. But you'll get through it and you will be a stronger, better person.
Good luck to you.
A crack addict.
Scary stuff.
As far as I can understand, no, addicts do not have feelings when they're using.
This guy is dangerous- not only because of what he is exposing you to, but because of the intense gaslighting and manipulation he is working on you. Look at how angry he's making you. I'll bet he enjoyed the heck out of watching two girls fight over him. And now he's trying to get you in trouble for it. You could easily wind up in jail if you don't get out of this situation now.
I'm so sorry, though. It is an awful feeling. A lot of us have been there in one way or another, though our stories are different. Takes the rug out right from under you, and while we're struggling to keep it all together the world keeps right on spinning. There will still be bills to pay and laundry to do. But you'll get through it and you will be a stronger, better person.
Good luck to you.
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Originally Posted by ChloeRose63
Get out and never look back. Your situation could get plenty worse fast. Be safe. Call your parents and let them know. The future with a crack addict is dangerous.
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Originally Posted by Girl1101
God that sounds horrible. I hope he doesn't know where you live. Glad you have family to support you.
Yes he is most definitely an addict with 110% surety.
Yes he is most definitely an addict with 110% surety.
Thank you for your response , no he doesn't know where I live . I made sure my apartment people didn't give out that information and I never told him or his family . It was a terrible situation, I don't get how he turned so bad so fast ! Then at the end of the relationship I was being told everything that is wrong with me and my flaws everyday . I was crying to sleep every night while also worrying about his safety. I just got so tired after two months of crying and stress that I broke up with him . It was a complete shock to learn he was cheating on me and to make it worse that the girl was in my apartment refusing to leave when I asked . I wish her good luck because I'm happy I got out of that situation. The last two months of the relationship was so stressful, he made me feel crazy ! I couldn't do anymore, I needed my happiness and sanity !
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Join Date: Sep 2017
Posts: 72
Just know that there is nothing wrong with you. He's KNOWS he's the low life, so he's just projecting on you to make you feel bad. To bring you down. You're not anything he says he is. If you were an actual low life, he wouldn't be verbally abusing you that much.
I guess that's what drugs do to a person, they take a normal person and the drug just makes them become possessed by the devil. You just have no idea who has inhabited the body. You have no idea who they've become anymore. It's like an rabid crazy alien took over the body and now its doing serious mind control. It really sucks.
I hope you recover well, and that you do have a back up plan if somehow he does find out where you live. Just make sure you keep that info as confidential as possible. Wishing you well, and I hope you feel better with time *hugs*
I guess that's what drugs do to a person, they take a normal person and the drug just makes them become possessed by the devil. You just have no idea who has inhabited the body. You have no idea who they've become anymore. It's like an rabid crazy alien took over the body and now its doing serious mind control. It really sucks.
I hope you recover well, and that you do have a back up plan if somehow he does find out where you live. Just make sure you keep that info as confidential as possible. Wishing you well, and I hope you feel better with time *hugs*
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Originally Posted by Girl1101
Just know that there is nothing wrong with you. He's KNOWS he's the low life, so he's just projecting on you to make you feel bad. To bring you down. You're not anything he says he is. If you were an actual low life, he wouldn't be verbally abusing you that much.
I guess that's what drugs do to a person, they take a normal person and the drug just makes them become possessed by the devil. You just have no idea who has inhabited the body. You have no idea who they've become anymore. It's like an rabid crazy alien took over the body and now its doing serious mind control. It really sucks.
I hope you recover well, and that you do have a back up plan if somehow he does find out where you live. Just make sure you keep that info as confidential as possible. Wishing you well, and I hope you feel better with time *hugs*
I guess that's what drugs do to a person, they take a normal person and the drug just makes them become possessed by the devil. You just have no idea who has inhabited the body. You have no idea who they've become anymore. It's like an rabid crazy alien took over the body and now its doing serious mind control. It really sucks.
I hope you recover well, and that you do have a back up plan if somehow he does find out where you live. Just make sure you keep that info as confidential as possible. Wishing you well, and I hope you feel better with time *hugs*
Yes I have backup plan , i have family members who live here . Also I moved to a place where security guards monitor and you need a key to get into the building. Only my family members and close friends know where I live . I kept everything confidential .
Thank you so much ! I'm progress in getting better . It would be a lie if I said the last two months of the relationship didn't take a toll on me . But I'm putting in effort to move past that . I'm turning to god to help me through this .
"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Join Date: Aug 2017
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He is an addict. Run far away in the opposite direction of him. The situation could get dangerous fast. From what you have described, he is not safe to be around, particularly as he blames you for things that are his choice.
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Originally Posted by OpheliaKatz
He is an addict. Run far away in the opposite direction of him. The situation could get dangerous fast. From what you have described, he is not safe to be around, particularly as he blames you for things that are his choice.
I'm glad I'm out , I have no intentions of going back . I left a couple of months ago , I found this support group and just wanted to make sure I'm not crazy to think he is going down a bad path and is an addict . He made me feel like I'm the crazy one .
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Originally Posted by hopeful4
Block him, block him on all social media, and run away and stay away from this man.
I just wanted to share my story and confirm that he is and addict and is heading down the wrong path . He would say that he does it occasionally but I feel like he has turned into an addict.
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Originally Posted by hopeful4
It it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's usually a duck.
Now to work on YOU, and get everything in place so that the next person you choose actually deserves you.
Big hugs.
Now to work on YOU, and get everything in place so that the next person you choose actually deserves you.
Big hugs.
Thank you , I am working on my self now . I'm going out more and doing more activities. I went hiking for the first time and I'm going to events .most importantly in sleeping now ! I'm truly enjoying my life now and I'm happy with the decision I made to leave. I thank god every day for showing me the light and removing from that situation. I'm making strides in my happiness again and it feels good 😊
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After reading your story I am stunned how similar story is to mine. My ex addict boyfriend would snort cocaine out of huge mirror, would be bored with me constantly and always changing his opinion on our relationship... I'm happy to hear that you are out and that you feel better.
Take care and thank you for sharing. It was good reminder for me.
Take care and thank you for sharing. It was good reminder for me.
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