Wife of "I never thought would get clean" heroin addict
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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Wife of "I never thought would get clean" heroin addict
Long story short. My husband has been trying to get sober since 2010 from heroin. His last sobriety date is Feb 2016. It has 1 and a half years since he has used. He is EXTREMELY active in AA and HA. He has 3 home groups. He works at a drug rehab since last December....
Okay - enough about him.
I built a timeline. From the date that I got sober (and stayed sober) besides minor lapses of alcohol (followed by severe depression). By lapses I mean, 1 or 2 a day for a two weeks (the longest I can count on one hand how many instances I have drank. I am also a firm believer in "wanting to stop because enough bad things happened to me" - due to alcohol. I have not experienced the allergic reaction to alcohol that many "real" alcoholics have. However, I never doubted my "real" alcoholic-ness until I started going to AA. Almost, as if, you have to prove yourself "real".
However, I have been using drugs and alcohol since I was 12 years old and started using every single day at the age of 15 and didn't stop until I was 24. So... anyway....
I have been looking to join AA because I like the fellowship and because I have always viewed myself as a recovering addict - even though my main problem since coming to this forum 4 years ago - has been my husband. I wasn't using anymore. I had successfully quit 4 years before I ever found this forum. I count my sober date as August 2009 because I never picked up X, or cocaine or a recreational pill or alcohol issue. (isolated instances with alcohol) My husband believes it's not a real sober date because I got drunk on the 4th of July. I will admit (strangely) that I have used alcohol more this year of 2017 than any other year combined.
Is it okay for me to identify as an addict/alcoholic?? I will be going to a completely different home group than my husband. I did not even attend any of his meetings before he hit 1 year. However, upon his request, he felt that I would benefit from going to his Sunday night meeting. I like it... but I want to find one... that he isn't apart of. Which I have.
Is it weird to join AA because I want the support? Has anyone on this forum experienced this? I know i'm codependent but have been able to call out my behavior and effectively carry out my plan in my own self care.
I beat out cancer in 2015. I have lost back half the weight I gained when I quit smoking and started anti-depressants.
I am over a year cigarette free. I also quit the anti-depressants last month for a slew of physical symptoms and unhealthy side effects. I have been going through withdrawal... but nothing as bad as the side effects of my thyroid stopping working.
If anyone has any advice or input or positive vibes. Please comment.
Okay - enough about him.
I built a timeline. From the date that I got sober (and stayed sober) besides minor lapses of alcohol (followed by severe depression). By lapses I mean, 1 or 2 a day for a two weeks (the longest I can count on one hand how many instances I have drank. I am also a firm believer in "wanting to stop because enough bad things happened to me" - due to alcohol. I have not experienced the allergic reaction to alcohol that many "real" alcoholics have. However, I never doubted my "real" alcoholic-ness until I started going to AA. Almost, as if, you have to prove yourself "real".
However, I have been using drugs and alcohol since I was 12 years old and started using every single day at the age of 15 and didn't stop until I was 24. So... anyway....
I have been looking to join AA because I like the fellowship and because I have always viewed myself as a recovering addict - even though my main problem since coming to this forum 4 years ago - has been my husband. I wasn't using anymore. I had successfully quit 4 years before I ever found this forum. I count my sober date as August 2009 because I never picked up X, or cocaine or a recreational pill or alcohol issue. (isolated instances with alcohol) My husband believes it's not a real sober date because I got drunk on the 4th of July. I will admit (strangely) that I have used alcohol more this year of 2017 than any other year combined.
Is it okay for me to identify as an addict/alcoholic?? I will be going to a completely different home group than my husband. I did not even attend any of his meetings before he hit 1 year. However, upon his request, he felt that I would benefit from going to his Sunday night meeting. I like it... but I want to find one... that he isn't apart of. Which I have.
Is it weird to join AA because I want the support? Has anyone on this forum experienced this? I know i'm codependent but have been able to call out my behavior and effectively carry out my plan in my own self care.
I beat out cancer in 2015. I have lost back half the weight I gained when I quit smoking and started anti-depressants.
I am over a year cigarette free. I also quit the anti-depressants last month for a slew of physical symptoms and unhealthy side effects. I have been going through withdrawal... but nothing as bad as the side effects of my thyroid stopping working.
If anyone has any advice or input or positive vibes. Please comment.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
If you have the desire to stop drinking, I think you'd be welcome at any AA meeting 
If bad things happen to you as a result of drinking does it really matter if it's only a few times a year?
Seeing as this thread is about you, if you want this thread moved to the Alcoholism forum or Newcomers just let me or another mod know.
D
If bad things happen to you as a result of drinking does it really matter if it's only a few times a year?
Seeing as this thread is about you, if you want this thread moved to the Alcoholism forum or Newcomers just let me or another mod know.
D
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
We have many "double winners" here who are both AA (or practicing sobriety through any means) and also Codependent and practicing the "do things`` to overcome codependent behaviours...some through meetings like Al-anon, CoDA, and Nar-anon and some through other methods.
There is no reason you cannot practice both. I like that you are seeking out your own meetings and then maybe sharing one meeting a week. Your own recovery is important for your health and well being...whether or not your husband is/remains successful in his recovery too. Healthy attracts healthy so working together as well may be good for both of you, as long as you maintain your own vigilance and practices to take care of yourself.
I am glad you joined us, if you read the "sticky" threads at the top of this forum you may find several topics that appeal to you and offer help. And we all support you in both your recoveries.
I hope other double winners will post here on how they handled both recoveries at the same time.
Welcome.
There is no reason you cannot practice both. I like that you are seeking out your own meetings and then maybe sharing one meeting a week. Your own recovery is important for your health and well being...whether or not your husband is/remains successful in his recovery too. Healthy attracts healthy so working together as well may be good for both of you, as long as you maintain your own vigilance and practices to take care of yourself.
I am glad you joined us, if you read the "sticky" threads at the top of this forum you may find several topics that appeal to you and offer help. And we all support you in both your recoveries.
I hope other double winners will post here on how they handled both recoveries at the same time.
Welcome.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: In the Middle
Posts: 632
Dee74
Yes, I was thinking maybe I should post in the "correct" forum. I have received so many kind words and HELPFUL ideas from friends and family over the years.... that it felt like a safe enough space.
Thank you!!! I'll make the move.
Yes, I was thinking maybe I should post in the "correct" forum. I have received so many kind words and HELPFUL ideas from friends and family over the years.... that it felt like a safe enough space.
Thank you!!! I'll make the move.
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