new here, wife of an addict
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Join Date: Jan 2017
Posts: 1
new here, wife of an addict
. My husband of 5 years is an addict. It really doesnt matter what kind of drug, he likes them all. But at the moment its crack. He is also an alcoholic. We have 2 small children, one is 2 the other is 2 months. I dont know what to do anymore. Im lost with no escape. He works and I stay at home with the babies. A long way from any family. Its not like he spends all of the money on but it's only because I raise hell everytime he says something about getting high. But I cant take it anymore. I want to just give in and let him.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 985
Oh, sweetheart. I am so sorry that you are feeling so trapped!
Ultimately, something has to change. You are in the right place; there is a wealth of experience & love here.
All of us held out in our situations...until we couldn't.
The question to ask yourself is - what do I want my life to look like? Only you can create that. Sharing parenting with an active addict is untenable, but you can't make him quit. You have to decide what you will live with, be clear about it, & then make an alternate plan if necessary.
You have the right to a safe and secure life, & your children do too. Will he join you in that? This is the part you cannot control...
Sending a long, strong hug!
Ultimately, something has to change. You are in the right place; there is a wealth of experience & love here.
All of us held out in our situations...until we couldn't.
The question to ask yourself is - what do I want my life to look like? Only you can create that. Sharing parenting with an active addict is untenable, but you can't make him quit. You have to decide what you will live with, be clear about it, & then make an alternate plan if necessary.
You have the right to a safe and secure life, & your children do too. Will he join you in that? This is the part you cannot control...
Sending a long, strong hug!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 293
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I too have 2 small children and left my XAH months ago. It was an excruciating experience but I knew it was the best thing for my kids. For them to have to live in an environment and have two unhappy parents was just not fair. Now they are thriving and in a happy and safe environment. Even though I have my moments of stress it's nothing like when I lived with my ex. Another member on here told a story of how she anonymously called DCF one time to tell them about her husbands drug use. They told her she is just as liable because she is knowingly keeping their kids in an unsafe environment. That really struck me. Your kids need you to protect them. Stay strong and reach out to us. This is a great place.
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