Hechosedrugs

Read this in my horoscope and just loved it so much I had to share. It said that I've been putting up with a bully and need to stand up for myself- and that I no longer need to explain why. Wow, was this spot-on! And the best part? She goes on to say something along the lines of, "If the bully still won't respect your decision, remember that "Bye!" is also a complete sentence.

Love it!

Ann

I love it too, and I love the "bye" one as well.

So many complete sentences, so few words.

Hugs

peacelovesober

Oh my. When I was reading this it was like a smack in the face. I always feel like I have to justify my no. Eg. I cant give you that $100 there is rent due, or you cant drive the car because last time you did you were drinking and driving. So many times I have felt the need to explain.

But the simple answer is NO. And soon the answer will be BYE. Thank you for sharing this is spot on.

Hechosedrugs

Tell me about it! The other night my AX was going on and on about how I never took any responsible for my part in the breakdown of our marriage. So I texted back listing all the things I did wrong- wasn't a very good cook, sometimes folded laundry sloppily, and the big one- became wrapped up in detective work, always trying to figure out what he was up to (when in reality I already knew). Why did I feel the need? It's not like he'll ever admit to his wrongs. All I did was make him feel justified for his betrayals.

He will never allow himself to see what he's done to our family, at least not while he's still using. There is no need for me to try to explain to him why I left or that, no, I'm not doing this out of self-righteousness, it's not because I think I'm so perfect. It will never get through. So I'm done.

From now on, "No." "Bye!"

Ann

In another context, doing nothing is a complete action.

When I felt like I needed to do something to help my son...like bail him out of jail...I wish I had known that "doing nothing" is an option and an action both.

Sometimes it is harder to do nothing than to do something. There is a time for each. I discern the difference by what feels right for "me".

Sunshine1234

Sounds like my ex. Takes ZERO accountability. He is blaming me for the divorce and not standing by his side...I stood by his side for years and finally had enough. It's just so frustrating when they can't see things for what they are.

Leaflet

I learned this with my child! No. No. No. NO! lol

peacelovesober

I imagine we could go on and on with stories of the crazy things they do and the ways that theybehave. Thankfully, we don't have to. We can own our part and remember the three C's. Things are not quite where they need to be with AH and I however I can do this today. I can understand that there is no way to make sense of something that makes absolutely no sense. You can't reason your way into an explanation because the only explanation is addiction and use of drugs. A normal circumstance can be explained with a rational train of thought. But the behavior of our addicts is anything but normal and rational.

We must know that all the detective work, checking up, tracking, rescuing only reveals how much work we have to do on us. I wish I had spent as much time trying to improve myself. I should have been walking with my dogs, and cleaning out my closet, and doing yoga, and taking trips to the mountains. But instead I drove myself crazy trying to track the actions of a man filled with chaos. I am so far from where I need to be but for today I am working on me. I am choosing to be happy and work on my health and lose these extra pounds that stress has helped me gain.

No to the chaos. Bye to the insanity. Yes to the new me! Yes is my answer for me !

Nata1980

Yes, this. Are they really all the same? I guess they are.

Sunshine1234

Yes, yes, yes!!!

Lily1918

I needed this today