hopeful4

My X, even though we are divorced and he is remarried, STILL says the failure of our marriage is my fault LOL. I did not give him enough attention, affection, etc. Oh please. I was raising my two children, essentially alone. Trying to stay afloat while he cheated on me and did all the crappy things he chose to do. Addiction happened, but the rest happened too. Addiction did not make him be that person, that person is just an addict.

It's not your fault. You are not powerful enough to make someone act a certain way. Remember the three C's:

You did not cause it
You cannot control it
You cannot cure it

Many hugs to all who have went through this, or are currently. Be strong. Work on YOU so that no matter what happens you are strong enough to deal with the outcome.

thequest

If the explanations need explaining like missing money I'd say you are pretty accurate in your assessment. The mood swings are a going to become an even bigger issue because now not being on those drugs his moods will change as well. But the stimulant use is a danger because the addict has to do something with all that energy(danger, potential violent outburst tantrums ahead) along with dealing with the side effects of continuous use.

Also there were probably already underlying issues with him including ethical ones. The cocaine just made controlling his existing urges harder. To do cocaine or any illegal drug on a regular basis one is committing a crime just by doing business with a dealer or possesing it. Also people who give it to him for free are basically distributors, also a crime. He probably had friends who introduced him to cocaine and/or are his current suppliers. I doubt this came out of the blue.

Stay safe! Be careful with direct confrontations, go out of your way to de-escalate or avoid arguments.