Guidance?? Support ?? Wife of....
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 89
Guidance?? Support ?? Wife of....
Hi everyone. Im new here and in desperate need of guidance and advice. Ive been married for 5 years. My husband was my childhood love since middle school, but we never dated until 7 years ago then married. We have 2 daughters The past 2 years have been tough- we have a lot of trouble- he has terrible anger issues and I have a terrible problem with shutting down emotionally. Fast forward to a year ago- he was arrested in front of me and toddler daughter for possession of meth.............. I stayed. He PROMISED to never touch it again .....I stayed. Over months he would stay at work around the clock, WHEN he came home it was a war zone- constant fighting......I stayed. I asked so many times and he always denied using. Finally, within the last 2 months I kicked him out 3 times because of his treatment to me ( *****, ******, evil, devil, f#%^ you, etc....) yes, these were said to me in front of my kids. Aside from the complete insanity level of his paranoia. This time, I stood my ground. His family and mine have helped me- help him in finding a rehab. He had the opportunity 3 days ago to leave but insisted he stay until Christmas so he could be with the kids that morning. I disagreed- only worried that these next 2 weeks will be so hard for him. I was proven right- he has since used at least once so far, but he promises he will leave after Christmas. He sends me messages saying " you made my life miserable and unbearable....... I am complete without you......... I don't even want to be your friend.....". I've never been so hurt. So, my question is- HOW or what is the wife side of this situation handled once he is away in rehab??????? I'm so torn. Has anyone ever been in this that can relate?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 58
Hi everyone. Im new here and in desperate need of guidance and advice. Ive been married for 5 years. My husband was my childhood love since middle school, but we never dated until 7 years ago then married. We have 2 daughters The past 2 years have been tough- we have a lot of trouble- he has terrible anger issues and I have a terrible problem with shutting down emotionally. Fast forward to a year ago- he was arrested in front of me and toddler daughter for possession of meth.............. I stayed. He PROMISED to never touch it again .....I stayed. Over months he would stay at work around the clock, WHEN he came home it was a war zone- constant fighting......I stayed. I asked so many times and he always denied using. Finally, within the last 2 months I kicked him out 3 times because of his treatment to me ( *****, ******, evil, devil, f#%^ you, etc....) yes, these were said to me in front of my kids. Aside from the complete insanity level of his paranoia. This time, I stood my ground. His family and mine have helped me- help him in finding a rehab. He had the opportunity 3 days ago to leave but insisted he stay until Christmas so he could be with the kids that morning. I disagreed- only worried that these next 2 weeks will be so hard for him. I was proven right- he has since used at least once so far, but he promises he will leave after Christmas. He sends me messages saying " you made my life miserable and unbearable....... I am complete without you......... I don't even want to be your friend.....". I've never been so hurt. So, my question is- HOW or what is the wife side of this situation handled once he is away in rehab??????? I'm so torn. Has anyone ever been in this that can relate?
only worried that these next 2 weeks will be so hard for him.
so hard for HIM??? what about YOU? and perhaps even more importantly, because they are completely vulnerable and have NO choice, what about the CHILDREN?
Finally, within the last 2 months I kicked him out 3 times because of his treatment to me ( *****, ******, evil, devil, f#%^ you, etc....) yes, these were said to me in front of my kids.
so hard for HIM??? what about YOU? and perhaps even more importantly, because they are completely vulnerable and have NO choice, what about the CHILDREN?
Finally, within the last 2 months I kicked him out 3 times because of his treatment to me ( *****, ******, evil, devil, f#%^ you, etc....) yes, these were said to me in front of my kids.
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 262
My husband of 15 yrs has turned into a stone cold man toward me and our two children in the last 4 months because of meth. He too, stays at work 24/7. This morning is the first I have seen him in a week. He does not come home at all unless during the day when everyone is gone to get a shower and grab clean clothes. It kills me to see him this way but there is nothing I can do. My kids are suffering and he doesn't see it and just doesn't care about anything. He pays no bills, I lost my car, he has not contributed anything to Christmas, hell I don't even know if he will show up. My daughter who is 13 now thinks of him as a loser and he does not deserve us. It is so sad, and my experience, METH IS THE WORST DRUG OUT THERE!!!!!!!
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 214
I suggest you contact the rehab and ask if they will have anything for you and him together. Most will have family sessions, suggest you set guidelines for behavior when he comes home, maybe even suggest marriage counseling.
Im trying out the family program at Smart Recovery right now, so far I like it. I just went to an online meeting where they discussed setting limits and our own self care. You might also find it helpful
Christmas is hard, could be an emotional reason to delay his start, but hold firm he starts after.
Im trying out the family program at Smart Recovery right now, so far I like it. I just went to an online meeting where they discussed setting limits and our own self care. You might also find it helpful
Christmas is hard, could be an emotional reason to delay his start, but hold firm he starts after.
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