NFOM1

It's been 1 week since my partner admitted he has an addiction to codeine, he's been taking them for 4 years in big amounts. He told me Sunday night that it's was done and was quitting cold turkey.....
Do I believe him? If I question it I guess the answer is no.
Is it possible he has???

We've been together 9 years & have 2 children, can our lives ever be "normal" ??

When he's at work I'm ok we speak during the day & I have trust in him, it's when he's home.. As soon as he walks through the door I want to check his pockets & his phone. Should I??
Should I do random at home drug testing? Or is this completely the wrong way to handle this??

Please I need advice

ShootingStar1

Welcome, NFOM1, and I so sorry to learn of your problem. Usually people post here quickly and often, and I am sure you will get some responses soon.

Trusting someone who has broken trust can take time, and it is normal to wonder if, this time, he will actually follow through on his words. Watch his actions, not his words, and over time, more will be revealed.

ShootingStar1

JOIE12

when we forget to take care of ourselves and become lost in the addicts world ... we lose our moral compass.

Does checking seem normal ? no, but we have all done it. That's just one item. Eventually we begin to think it's normal and an ok thing to be watchful.

IT'S NOT !

When the storm is over and the smoke clears, we begin to find the old 'us' again and wonder how crazy had we become ? Lies are not okay no matter what the reason. Losing our self worth while we must think we deserve this ?

Having been thru 21 yrs of marriage to a problem drinker who was abusive in every way and a 3 yr relationship with a man who became a heroin addict - I've suffered enough. We didn't have SR back then. We didn't even have internet ! Read the stories and learn the ways of the addict. Learn what co-dependency is. I wish you well and peace while you go thru this. It will end when you have had enough. Hugs to you, Joie

ladyscribbler

What prompted his admission? Has he taken any concrete steps like seeking medical treatment or attending meetings? You probably won't need searches and drug tests to tell you if he's still using, his behavior will do that without you having to life a finger.
Whether or not he is successful in this attempt at sobriety, you can and should take steps to protect yourself and your children from his addiction. If you can, try to get to some Alanon or Naranon meetings. When I was with my ex, it was very easy to focus on "his" problem and lose myself in all the stress and chaos his drinking caused, which was terribly detrimental not only to me, but to my children.

uncaged

I have mixed feelings because ...I used to do random testing with ABF but it didnt help. Eventually he would just stay gone if he thought he would be tested or cause a fight of how hurt he was that I wasn't believing him and leave before test could be done. Also, honestly it got expensive when I already knew just by his behavior and his pinned eyes when he is using. On the other hand, looking back if I knew what I know now that my ABF taking painkillers such as hydrocodone or codeine at first would lead to a full blown oxycodone, roxicodone, dilaudid, and now heroin addiction then I would tell you test him or whatever you need to do to prevent it from escalating any further for you and your children's sake. You said he takes large amounts so he has built up a tolerance and it is likely he could progress to stronger opiates/opioids. I was wondering too what prompted the admitting to it. Did you see signs?

JOIE12

as zoso77 said ... "The mortal enemy of an addict is accountability."

Is this what you want for your life ?