Tomorrow I collect my stuff...
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 412
Originally Posted by SuzyMarie 
My ex did the same thing with me...I, too was the one who asked him to leave our home and I think at the time I had hopes that we would both work on recovery and see what happened. Well, he moved on to someone he met in AA so fast my head spun...lol. Granted, he kept begging me to take him back and he'd end it. Gak! I was in counseling at the time and my therapist said, "Well of course he did, he's unable to care for himself." And by that I think she meant emotionally. I don't know, I think it's a need to fill a void, fear of being alone, still looking outside themselves for some 'normalcy', a lot of things. I know it sucks, but I promise you as time goes by and you heal and take care of yourself, you will see things in a different light. And for the record, my ex's new relationship lasted maybe 2 months and, unfortunately, he still has not sought true sobriety.
That does help.
I do wish recovery for my ex, however this all just feels so hard to navigate right now.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Alaska
Posts: 276
Agree with BOTH of you.
Even though I gave my exAH the boot, it was not intended to cause what has now become an insane downward spiral in him-I have not heard from him in over 2 weeks, and his brother (who has) says every time someone tries to bring up our marriage or our child to him, he freaks out, yells at them, or drives angrily away.
I did not know what else to do, but I knew I could not raise my child effectively while so stressed out over his behavior while we were living under the same roof. I had HOPED he would work better on his recovery as a proof that he could come home and do the same.
It does suck. There's nothing else to it. It just sucks.
But better a suck that you have become accustomed to that is SAFE, HEALTHY and MANAGEABLE for you than the giant roller coaster and risk that it is to have him at home with you.
Stay strong. We can all do this.
Even though I gave my exAH the boot, it was not intended to cause what has now become an insane downward spiral in him-I have not heard from him in over 2 weeks, and his brother (who has) says every time someone tries to bring up our marriage or our child to him, he freaks out, yells at them, or drives angrily away.
I did not know what else to do, but I knew I could not raise my child effectively while so stressed out over his behavior while we were living under the same roof. I had HOPED he would work better on his recovery as a proof that he could come home and do the same.
It does suck. There's nothing else to it. It just sucks.
But better a suck that you have become accustomed to that is SAFE, HEALTHY and MANAGEABLE for you than the giant roller coaster and risk that it is to have him at home with you.
Stay strong. We can all do this.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 412
Thanks All,
Today I am really missing him! Not the craziness, but what we had before.
I'll say it again - THIS PART SUCKS!
This was NOT part of my plan. I do not want to miss him. And I do.
I think it will help when I am away in a few weeks time, this will take my mind off it.
I keep thinking back to last summer, we were happy then. We were away traveling together. I suppose it was a house of cards. Very sad.
Today I am really missing him! Not the craziness, but what we had before.
I'll say it again - THIS PART SUCKS!
This was NOT part of my plan. I do not want to miss him. And I do.
I think it will help when I am away in a few weeks time, this will take my mind off it.
I keep thinking back to last summer, we were happy then. We were away traveling together. I suppose it was a house of cards. Very sad.
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Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 412
Originally Posted by mnh1982
Agree with BOTH of you.
Even though I gave my exAH the boot, it was not intended to cause what has now become an insane downward spiral in him-I have not heard from him in over 2 weeks, and his brother (who has) says every time someone tries to bring up our marriage or our child to him, he freaks out, yells at them, or drives angrily away.
I did not know what else to do, but I knew I could not raise my child effectively while so stressed out over his behavior while we were living under the same roof. I had HOPED he would work better on his recovery as a proof that he could come home and do the same.
It does suck. There's nothing else to it. It just sucks.
But better a suck that you have become accustomed to that is SAFE, HEALTHY and MANAGEABLE for you than the giant roller coaster and risk that it is to have him at home with you.
Stay strong. We can all do this.
Even though I gave my exAH the boot, it was not intended to cause what has now become an insane downward spiral in him-I have not heard from him in over 2 weeks, and his brother (who has) says every time someone tries to bring up our marriage or our child to him, he freaks out, yells at them, or drives angrily away.
I did not know what else to do, but I knew I could not raise my child effectively while so stressed out over his behavior while we were living under the same roof. I had HOPED he would work better on his recovery as a proof that he could come home and do the same.
It does suck. There's nothing else to it. It just sucks.
But better a suck that you have become accustomed to that is SAFE, HEALTHY and MANAGEABLE for you than the giant roller coaster and risk that it is to have him at home with you.
Stay strong. We can all do this.
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Dallas TX
Posts: 2,282
Well, he moved on to someone he met in AA so fast my head spun...
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With all due respect, he didn't "move on". He merely changed hosts. The
affliction still has all of its tentacles firmly wrapped around his throat.
Net progress, zero.
"Moved on with someone he met in AA". Goes by the moniker "13th
stepping". I think a better nomenclature would be step zero....one that
puts off the hard work of taking an steps at all.
Steps require getting out of bed (pardon the pun).
------------------------------------------------------------------
With all due respect, he didn't "move on". He merely changed hosts. The
affliction still has all of its tentacles firmly wrapped around his throat.
Net progress, zero.
"Moved on with someone he met in AA". Goes by the moniker "13th
stepping". I think a better nomenclature would be step zero....one that
puts off the hard work of taking an steps at all.
Steps require getting out of bed (pardon the pun).
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