My son has only been home for 3 days...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 91
Refuser,
A sober living environment has been working for my son. My son did not initially accept his condition. Relapsing at his house made him see the light. Other newbies relapsing in front of him also help him to see the light, -seeing the obvious damage and nonsense, -like the way we see it when it happens in front of us.
Basically there are two different people living in his sober house, 1) the people that accept their condition and are truly wanting to change, and 2) and the rest who are still lying to themselves. Your son is still lying to himself.
A sober living environment has been working for my son. My son did not initially accept his condition. Relapsing at his house made him see the light. Other newbies relapsing in front of him also help him to see the light, -seeing the obvious damage and nonsense, -like the way we see it when it happens in front of us.
Basically there are two different people living in his sober house, 1) the people that accept their condition and are truly wanting to change, and 2) and the rest who are still lying to themselves. Your son is still lying to himself.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 203
Refuser- I am going to be blunt- I hope that is ok.
1. You and your husband need to take the control back. Stop allowing this kid to run your home. Give him 2 choices: In-patient rehab or the street. That's it. Choose.
2. Your son can not drink or smoke pot. Addicts who try "just smoking little week" or "just having 1 beer" will almost always relapse. Once drunk or high the brain just can't say no to stronger drugs.
3. You need to stop the enabling behavior. Stop checking his wallet, stop calling his ex-GF, stop checking to see if he is at work. Unless you are secretly using drugs...this is HIS issue, not yours. This is HIS recovery, not yours.
You need to let your son know that in no uncertain terms that he is a guest in YOUR home. That your rules will not be broken. AND if he doesn't like it, he knows where the door is. But if you can't do it, don't say it. Nothing is worse than saying something to an addict and then not being able to follow through. You will be a pushover from then on.
Good luck.
1. You and your husband need to take the control back. Stop allowing this kid to run your home. Give him 2 choices: In-patient rehab or the street. That's it. Choose.
2. Your son can not drink or smoke pot. Addicts who try "just smoking little week" or "just having 1 beer" will almost always relapse. Once drunk or high the brain just can't say no to stronger drugs.
3. You need to stop the enabling behavior. Stop checking his wallet, stop calling his ex-GF, stop checking to see if he is at work. Unless you are secretly using drugs...this is HIS issue, not yours. This is HIS recovery, not yours.
You need to let your son know that in no uncertain terms that he is a guest in YOUR home. That your rules will not be broken. AND if he doesn't like it, he knows where the door is. But if you can't do it, don't say it. Nothing is worse than saying something to an addict and then not being able to follow through. You will be a pushover from then on.
Good luck.
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