how can this be happening

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12-29-2014, 04:22 PM

# 21 (permalink)

GardenMama

Member

Join Date: Jul 2012

Posts: 793

NarAnon has been a lifesaver for me, and Alateen helped my daughter immensely when learning about addiction and her sister. I am really glad you are going to meetings. The first meeting is the hardest, but everyone there knows that and remembers their first meeting. I bet you will be warmly welcomed. Don't worry about being shy. Just be yourself. You can always pass the first few meetings until you start to feel more comfortable. Let us know how it goes, okay?

12-29-2014, 05:51 PM

# 22 (permalink)

brokenheart435

Member

Thread Starter

Join Date: Dec 2014

Posts: 74

Thanks I hope so. I'm nervous but looking forward to it at the same time. The kids are a Lil scared to go but I'm glad they'll at least be able to go together.
I sure will let you know how it goes. I appreciate all of your support so very much ♡

12-30-2014, 06:09 AM

# 23 (permalink)

zoso77

Curmudgeon, Electrical Engineer, Guitar God Wannabe

Join Date: Jan 2012

Location: Where the mighty arms of Atlas hold the heavens from the Earth

Posts: 3,403

Quote:

Originally Posted by brokenheart435

Just when I think I'm starting to get stronger especially just after a painful holiday I just find out my husband has asked his junkie girlfriend to marry him. He's only been gone for less than 2 months and we aren't even divorced. If addicts don't love anything but their drugs then how can this be happening. I'm so confused!! I don't understand. He said he didn't want to divorce me. He's never said he doesn't love me anymore so how can he just leave me and the kids like this so hurt and broken and just move on after so many years to another life like we never even existed. How can he just go and ask another woman to marry him. What did I do to deserve this?! All I ever did was love and care for him.
I know I shouldn't be this surprised but I am. I feel like someone just kicked me in my stomach. It hurts so much :'(

BH...

Allow me to offer you a belated Welcome to the Board. I've been away the past few days, and while I was away, I saw this thread on my iPhone but didn't really have the chance to respond. But now I can, so take what you like and leave the rest.

Your AH and his "junkie girlfriend" are in fantasy land. And the reason why your AH has done what he's done is because his condition has made him so self absorbed, he doesn't care about the consequences of his actions. For him and his AGF, it's all about the pleasure center in their brains. Accountability? Nope. Responsibility? What's that? And he's not unique in this regard. Most (if not all) of those in active addiction share this trait.

For what it's worth, I don't believe he loves her in a healthy, mature way. And that's because, as Vale mentioned downstream, as soon as anyone tries to hold him accountable for his actions. he will flinch and he will recoil. If he can do what he did to his kids, he can do what he did to anyone.

When someone shows you what they're all about, pay attention. Protect yourself, protect your children.

I'm sorry this has happened, and even more sorry it happened during the holidays. But I'm glad you found us. You're amongst friends here. Remember that.

Again, Welcome to the Board.

12-30-2014, 07:26 AM

# 24 (permalink)

brokenheart435

Member

Thread Starter

Join Date: Dec 2014

Posts: 74

Zoso
Thank you so much for your words. I am so grateful to have found SR. It has been a huge lifesaver to me the last few weeks. I am very appreciative of all of the support and friendship. I know I have a long road ahead of me but I'm praying things will get easier for me and my children in time. Especially knowing that I have you all to help me through it.
Huge Hugs!!
BH
I do have one question...does anyone know if there are any forums like this for teens with addict parents? If you all know of anything please let me know. Thank you ♡