Distressed!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 24
Distressed!!!
I don't even know what thread to post this on....I am at home, trying to get my house put together for my son's 17th, B-day party. I had all week to do it, but had a bout of drama, yesterday and slept for four hours. I've been sleeping, during the day, most of the week, or sitting out on my porch, smoking cigarettes and writing. Instead of doing what I should have done, last night(go to the store, fix up the yard...etc), I went out to dinner with my AH and then to a movie. I feel guilty and ashamed of myself, stressed and angry.
My AH left the house, this morning, at 9:00am, saying he had an appointment at 9am and 1pm. He knew that I needed the car and I told him to call me, between appointments, to let me know what was going on, and if he could come home in between. He never called or returned my calls, until 2:30. He's an addict and a liar, but he told me that he ran into a buddy from his IOP program and they started talking, etc... I called my 17 year old son, who also uses drugs. He spent the night at one of his BF's house(a bad kid, but they've been friends since Kindergarten), he was still asleep at 2pm. I told him to come home and help me...it's his party! He tells me he'll be home at 3:30/4:00. I can't do anything, I mean, he's got his own car.
The other piece to this story is that I ran out of my Suboxone, yesterday. I know it has a long half-life, but I still start to FREAK OUT, if I don't take it by noon! OMG! I'm I'm feeling like my AH might be lying about where he is and what he's doing, which has me upset. He's also, SO CONTROLLING, and if I were to do this to him, he'd start telling me that my things are packed and ready to go, when I returned. He might be telling the truth, though and if I say anything to him, he'll start telling me that I'm not supportive of his "recovery"(due to him saying he's at the VA). I feel overwhelmed with everything I need to do in a shirt time span. I'm angry at myself, my AH, my son, THE WORLD!
What's wrong with me?
My AH left the house, this morning, at 9:00am, saying he had an appointment at 9am and 1pm. He knew that I needed the car and I told him to call me, between appointments, to let me know what was going on, and if he could come home in between. He never called or returned my calls, until 2:30. He's an addict and a liar, but he told me that he ran into a buddy from his IOP program and they started talking, etc... I called my 17 year old son, who also uses drugs. He spent the night at one of his BF's house(a bad kid, but they've been friends since Kindergarten), he was still asleep at 2pm. I told him to come home and help me...it's his party! He tells me he'll be home at 3:30/4:00. I can't do anything, I mean, he's got his own car.
The other piece to this story is that I ran out of my Suboxone, yesterday. I know it has a long half-life, but I still start to FREAK OUT, if I don't take it by noon! OMG! I'm I'm feeling like my AH might be lying about where he is and what he's doing, which has me upset. He's also, SO CONTROLLING, and if I were to do this to him, he'd start telling me that my things are packed and ready to go, when I returned. He might be telling the truth, though and if I say anything to him, he'll start telling me that I'm not supportive of his "recovery"(due to him saying he's at the VA). I feel overwhelmed with everything I need to do in a shirt time span. I'm angry at myself, my AH, my son, THE WORLD!
What's wrong with me?
Last edited by QuietlE77; 07-11-2014 at 11:56 AM. Reason: word out of place and incorrect grammar
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Whoa girl, it's your son's party and he may or may not help you?
You don't have to do it all, do what you can and let your husband and son be responsible for doing their share or doing without.
A 17th birthday party can be as simple as ordering some pizzas, having some cake and ice cream and maybe some funny hats for everyone to wear, which may embarrass him but it's all fun.
Do what you can and leave the rest. You don't have to take on all the work others should be helping with.
Hugs
You don't have to do it all, do what you can and let your husband and son be responsible for doing their share or doing without.
A 17th birthday party can be as simple as ordering some pizzas, having some cake and ice cream and maybe some funny hats for everyone to wear, which may embarrass him but it's all fun.
Do what you can and leave the rest. You don't have to take on all the work others should be helping with.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
1. Breathe. I hear the panic in your voice. It's ok.
2. In reality, running out of the Sub is ok. Your mind is running with you.
3. Your AH may or may not be telling the truth. Time will tell, just stay calm. More will be revealed.
4. If your son is not too worried about his party, I would not either. I agree with Ann, order some pizzas, 17 yr olds love food. Have them delivered with soda. Done, no car needed.
You are going to be ok no matter what happens. Be strong in your resolve that you can do this.
We are here for you!
2. In reality, running out of the Sub is ok. Your mind is running with you.
3. Your AH may or may not be telling the truth. Time will tell, just stay calm. More will be revealed.
4. If your son is not too worried about his party, I would not either. I agree with Ann, order some pizzas, 17 yr olds love food. Have them delivered with soda. Done, no car needed.
You are going to be ok no matter what happens. Be strong in your resolve that you can do this.
We are here for you!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 864
Quiet…
I hope that the day got better for you.
Not sure where to go from there but I have no issue just jumping right in.
Don’t miss the signs, running out of sub, sleeping more in the day. I did see your post on the sub board, don’t get hung up in that how long should I stay on insanity … that is a one way ticket to a bad place when you start asking that question. You are you, sub is a great tool, you stay on how long you need to, to give yourself the best chance. And frankly now I think you have the answer it doesn’t seem like a good time to come off or wean down. Now while there is never a good time you gotta have a plan … You need safety nets. You need a safe environment which you don’t have now. And you need one strong program of some kind, any kind. It is extremely hard to live with someone in active addiction and not just say f*ck it…
Take good care of you!
I hope that the day got better for you.
Not sure where to go from there but I have no issue just jumping right in.
Don’t miss the signs, running out of sub, sleeping more in the day. I did see your post on the sub board, don’t get hung up in that how long should I stay on insanity … that is a one way ticket to a bad place when you start asking that question. You are you, sub is a great tool, you stay on how long you need to, to give yourself the best chance. And frankly now I think you have the answer it doesn’t seem like a good time to come off or wean down. Now while there is never a good time you gotta have a plan … You need safety nets. You need a safe environment which you don’t have now. And you need one strong program of some kind, any kind. It is extremely hard to live with someone in active addiction and not just say f*ck it…
Take good care of you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Ohio
Posts: 24
Oh my Goodness! Today was something else. I took everyone's advice, calmed myself down, and decided that some things are just out of my control and dealt with what was.
As I sit here, at one o'clock in the morning, bashing a pretty large piece of Oreo ice-cream-cake, I can say that everything turned out alright, as things do, most of the time. I had a little trouble with some kids bringing alcohol and pot, into the party. My Husband was out, fishing with his Dad and when I
gave him the update on what was transpiring, he threatened to come back home and shut the whole thing down. The threat alone, sifted out the bad seeds, and my son was actually apologetic, rather than being embarrassed and angry about it. I was impressed by that, even though I could tell by his eyes that he was already cheesed. I don't know? I wish that instead of my Husband threatening to unleash his fury on the underage crowd, that the kids would have had enough respect for me, when I told my son, first, that he better not have any of that stuff at my house. Something to work on, I suppose....
Overall, I see progress. Each day is still another opportunity for something to go horribly array, but it's also a chance for growth and change. I'm looking forward to what tomorrow may bring. Good night, all!
As I sit here, at one o'clock in the morning, bashing a pretty large piece of Oreo ice-cream-cake, I can say that everything turned out alright, as things do, most of the time. I had a little trouble with some kids bringing alcohol and pot, into the party. My Husband was out, fishing with his Dad and when I
gave him the update on what was transpiring, he threatened to come back home and shut the whole thing down. The threat alone, sifted out the bad seeds, and my son was actually apologetic, rather than being embarrassed and angry about it. I was impressed by that, even though I could tell by his eyes that he was already cheesed. I don't know? I wish that instead of my Husband threatening to unleash his fury on the underage crowd, that the kids would have had enough respect for me, when I told my son, first, that he better not have any of that stuff at my house. Something to work on, I suppose....
Overall, I see progress. Each day is still another opportunity for something to go horribly array, but it's also a chance for growth and change. I'm looking forward to what tomorrow may bring. Good night, all!
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