Upsetnneedhelp

I posted about Thanksgiving but Christmas family dinner is probably even greater stress. The focus will be on how well certain family members are doing and the latest job promotions they got. I own a small import/export business that barely turns a profit. There is special Christmas package that I can send to my son in prison but I'm having financial difficulties. My son is the black sheep as the expression is I think. We have lawyers, nurses, financial bankers in my extended family. Some years they do get a special Christmas dinner that the inmates seem to enjoy at least.

zoso77

Christmas and I have had an uneasy relationship for most of my adult life. Some Christmas pasts are days I would like to purge from my memory.

So I went into last Christmas with a different attitude. Since my company shuts down for a week during the Holidays, I looked at Christmas as any other day off. Basically stayed home, grilled a nice New York Strip, watched movies, played guitar, enjoyed some really good scotch, etc.

And this year, I've probably been more charitable than I've ever been. When you look at how many people in this country that are going through tough times, it makes you thankful for what you have and you inevitably focus less on the things that stink.

The Holidays are what we choose to make it.

ZoSo

bluebelle

Christmas can be a really difficult time for me, too. I have some very bad memories of Christmas. As Zoso said, there are Christmas pasts that I would rather purge from my memory. For awhile, seeing Christmas stuff made me feel anxious.

I no longer see my family at Christmas. I am at a point where I talk to my addict/mentally ill mother on the phone on Christmas, and send her a small gift (like warm socks and framed pictures).

In the past few years, I have started some of my own traditions at Christmas. Last year, we went on vacation and spent the holidays in a small town. Sometimes, we have spent Christmas with local friends, who have become like family to us.

I no longer feel obligated to do anything at Christmas. It has helped with my anxiety.

Take care.

lizwig

I've said before that the last few years of being away from our son at Christmas have been really hard. I love both sides of our family but our son is definitely the only one struggling to this level. I honestly feel like I'm missing an arm and no-one mentions it. I have wonderful memories of Christmases when all the kids were growing up. Lots of laughter. It hurts me that I can tell my nieces and nephews feel sorry for us and attempt to pick up the slack. I am grateful for the love they give us....I am determined every year to have a great time and I do. These moments are fleeting. Do I wish things were different? Do I shed some tears in the shower? Absolutely...but then I brace myself and let the rest of our family know how very, very special they are to me. It's tough. No doubt about it.

Ilovemysonjj

Christmas time is such a family focused holiday which can trigger us all. I have not had Christmas with JJ for two years and this year I am still filled with dread (my codie kicking in!) that he won't be here with us still for this one. I love the holiday, the tree, the food and yes the fun. I am sending a great big hug to those who are suffering this season, though I know that God is watching us all. The real meaning of Christmas is "Peace on earth and good will towards man". God Bless us all SR Family.