thestarxvii

i've been racking my brain between taking SR users advise and just playing it by ear. why is it so hard to rip the bandaid? i'm trying distance for now. i have other things going on in my life (finals, moving) that would put him at "number 2, 3, or 4" for the next 2 weeks anyways. i'm feeling more of a friendship for him and less of a desire to be in a relationship.
i think him "letting me down easy" was perfectly put.
i'm not looking forward to looking him in his eyes for the last time.

we talked a couple of nights in a row to "examine relationship" like a SR user put (thank you) it went well but it just seemed like never ending breakup! i told him, "fine lets just do it! goodbye." then he texted a bunch of times asking if he was crazy. i told him yes. but i'm thinking now i should have said "no, we both need this"

i'm embarrassed for choosing to be with an addict. i thought he could just stop. i didn't know it was bad enough that he needed rehab, and now telling me it will be year(s) long process & he doesn't know if it will work. There is this voice in my head asking, "is it really THAT bad!?" Him even saying that he doesn't know if it will work really made SR Users words echo and ring through my mind. i want to scream "you MAKE it work!"

I just wanted to vent and let anyone know what was going on. I have not told anyone of my ABFs business. being able to talk about it anonymously has been a real breakthrough on path to healing.
thank you.

Ruby2

Hi there. We can't always help who we love so don't be embarrassed. Most addicts have something to love about them. My husband is a good guy when he has been working a program to keep sober. But when he isn't? He cannot "just stop." Addiction has an iron grip on the addict. My husband will do and say just about anything to get crack. Even bankrupt his family. Because someone else always pays the price for the addiction, especially if they are an enabler like me.

A friend of mine who is a recovering addict/alcoholic with five years sobriety struggled for 5 years and longer before she made it to five years straight. She has been giving me support and advice regarding my husband. She said that rehab really is the only option for quitting when someone is down the rabbit hole. That self rehab is almost impossible. It can be done, but not likely.

Hang in there. You have a lot to keep you busy. The other stuff will give you some distance and time to think.