a man here
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Calgary
Posts: 12
Kelslol, I'm not strong. It took damage to my daughter to realize the situation.
I often wonder why I stayed so long, and from all my reading it would appear to be a combination of fear, mixed with intermittent reward. I always thought that finally I made an impact, and things would now change.
They of course were, in the bigger picture down hill.
There is also a thought of investment already made, I had 18 years...
In the end, my marriage became a disaster because I kept trying to change her drinking. In the end you can never change another person. You need to do what makes you happy and healthy.
I often wonder why I stayed so long, and from all my reading it would appear to be a combination of fear, mixed with intermittent reward. I always thought that finally I made an impact, and things would now change.
They of course were, in the bigger picture down hill.
There is also a thought of investment already made, I had 18 years...
In the end, my marriage became a disaster because I kept trying to change her drinking. In the end you can never change another person. You need to do what makes you happy and healthy.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 574
gitzo ... I was married to an alcoholic. He grew worse over the years. He was abusive in every way. I thought I was protecting my daughters as I took all of the abuse. I didn't realize that it hurt my daughters to witness this also.
I will live a life of guilt for this. Thinking I made the right decision to stay so that I didn't have to fight in court or go on for years with visitation.
I was wrong.
I am happy that you have seen the other side now. I am happy that you chose to rise above the abuse. To do what is right for you and your daughter.
Keep coming back and let us know how you are doing, successes and struggles. We will be here for you.
I will live a life of guilt for this. Thinking I made the right decision to stay so that I didn't have to fight in court or go on for years with visitation.
I was wrong.
I am happy that you have seen the other side now. I am happy that you chose to rise above the abuse. To do what is right for you and your daughter.
Keep coming back and let us know how you are doing, successes and struggles. We will be here for you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Calgary
Posts: 12
just another quick update. Happily with a great sweet women for 9 months now. She has moved it with her son. My daughter loves them both.
My daughter hasn't talked to her mother since we left and has no interest in seeing her.
Ex Alcoholic wife hasn't gotten a job, a place to live, has been homeless. Has blown through the rrsp money she got in payment from the house. She still regularly texts me to tell me how all her current problems are still my fault - Even though I haven't seen her in about 1 year.
Makes me realize how much of a disaster things were. But she had this way of confusing reality. He issues were always blamed on me, and I believed it. Turns out it just wasn't reality.
My daughter hasn't talked to her mother since we left and has no interest in seeing her.
Ex Alcoholic wife hasn't gotten a job, a place to live, has been homeless. Has blown through the rrsp money she got in payment from the house. She still regularly texts me to tell me how all her current problems are still my fault - Even though I haven't seen her in about 1 year.
Makes me realize how much of a disaster things were. But she had this way of confusing reality. He issues were always blamed on me, and I believed it. Turns out it just wasn't reality.
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,393
Originally Posted by gitzo 
just another quick update. Happily with a great sweet women for 9 months now. She has moved it with her son. My daughter loves them both.
My daughter hasn't talked to her mother since we left and has no interest in seeing her.
Ex Alcoholic wife hasn't gotten a job, a place to live, has been homeless. Has blown through the rrsp money she got in payment from the house. She still regularly texts me to tell me how all her current problems are still my fault - Even though I haven't seen her in about 1 year.
Makes me realize how much of a disaster things were. But she had this way of confusing reality. He issues were always blamed on me, and I believed it. Turns out it just wasn't reality.
My daughter hasn't talked to her mother since we left and has no interest in seeing her.
Ex Alcoholic wife hasn't gotten a job, a place to live, has been homeless. Has blown through the rrsp money she got in payment from the house. She still regularly texts me to tell me how all her current problems are still my fault - Even though I haven't seen her in about 1 year.
Makes me realize how much of a disaster things were. But she had this way of confusing reality. He issues were always blamed on me, and I believed it. Turns out it just wasn't reality.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
gitzo....thank you for the update! Things seem happy and healthy in your neck of the woods.
I get what you are saying. My X still blames me for all of his issues, even thought we have been divorced for quite some time, and even things I have nothing to do with or even know about. It's a mental illness.
Keep on keeping on!
I get what you are saying. My X still blames me for all of his issues, even thought we have been divorced for quite some time, and even things I have nothing to do with or even know about. It's a mental illness.
Keep on keeping on!
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