I hate Codependency as much as I do drugs
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,741
I hate Codependency as much as I do drugs
Finally, I said it I have always felt it every since I realized I am codependent I keep working on me and the big things I seem to be able to just walk away from but the little things are getting me... my oldest AS was released from prison on October 4th and he was locked back up last night for disorderly conduct.
My crazy mind has me thinking it is my fault he is in jail the insanity of this crazy thinking
I had mailed him a list of my boundaries before his release, I have stuck by them 99 percent I did have one I broke one day I drove in my parking lot last night and saw someone getting in my car so I drove to the car and it was my son I told him he can't be getting in my car (that car doesn't lock if you lock it you can't unlock it) he had a beer in one hand and some plastic in the other the plastic contained either tobacco or pot I am not sure which.
He asked for a ride home and I refused I had an all to familiar voice mail this morning from a telecommunications company so I looked online and yes he was/is in jail.
When I saw the booking time he was arrested and booked within 35-40 minutes of when I last saw him that is when my mind started saying you could have taken him home, he wouldn't be in jail then
I did call the jail and spoke with a female detention officer who was kind enough too read me the police report apparently someone from a certain address called the police about someone possibly trying to steal then the police stopped him by the ball field and asked him to empty his pockets in turn he told the police to put their D--K on his head. quite a few times and they included in their report that they feared for their life.
I know in reality it isn't my fault I don't understand why those feelings came in. I guess it is time to step up the meetings again. I am sorry this is so long and mostly rambling I just needed to get it written out.
My crazy mind has me thinking it is my fault he is in jail the insanity of this crazy thinking
I had mailed him a list of my boundaries before his release, I have stuck by them 99 percent I did have one I broke one day I drove in my parking lot last night and saw someone getting in my car so I drove to the car and it was my son I told him he can't be getting in my car (that car doesn't lock if you lock it you can't unlock it) he had a beer in one hand and some plastic in the other the plastic contained either tobacco or pot I am not sure which.
He asked for a ride home and I refused I had an all to familiar voice mail this morning from a telecommunications company so I looked online and yes he was/is in jail.
When I saw the booking time he was arrested and booked within 35-40 minutes of when I last saw him that is when my mind started saying you could have taken him home, he wouldn't be in jail then
I did call the jail and spoke with a female detention officer who was kind enough too read me the police report apparently someone from a certain address called the police about someone possibly trying to steal then the police stopped him by the ball field and asked him to empty his pockets in turn he told the police to put their D--K on his head. quite a few times and they included in their report that they feared for their life.
I know in reality it isn't my fault I don't understand why those feelings came in. I guess it is time to step up the meetings again. I am sorry this is so long and mostly rambling I just needed to get it written out.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
I've recently started regularly expressing my thoughts. Stuff I used to keep in or internalize; stuff I decided shouldn't be said out loud or it was too insignificant to bother with. Now I choose appropriate times and places and holy cow, it makes a huge difference!
I hate codie crap too!
I hate codie crap too!
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