Needingadvice1

Thks everyone. Your words really help. This site is so great. My head is listening to them & hoping the rest of my body will take them on board soon too! I will talk to my sister. My dad will just jump on a plane & come here & take over. That's what he does. He's too over protective & I'm not ready for all that craziness just yet. I just need a few days to process this all & get a little stronger.
I've been doing lots of reading of posts & stickies & it's nice to see other people have been through the same thing & come out the other side. Im not alone. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?? I have a feeling things will only get worse before they get better but I know what I've got to do. Thx again

sevenofnine

You are strong. Together we are strongest! SR can help. You aren't alone.

And don't let being a single mama get you down. You don't need money to give kids the most important things-love and attention. They will grow up admiring your strength.

GardenMama

I haven't looked closely at every reply, so apologies if this is a repeat suggestion. Have you read any of Melody Beattie yet? Codependent No More would be especially helpful for you right now. The Language of Letting Go is also really great for each day or evening before bed--one reading for each day of the year, but you can skip around. I would also suggest Taming the Tiger Within by Thich Nhat Hanh (it is about dealing with anger).

You can change your life for the better. Don't keep shaming yourself about how you have covered up and lied for him. Many of us here have done this. Just make a new way, forge a new path in your heart. Forgive yourself first and begin the most noble work of taking care of yourself so that you can be the best mother for your girls. Take care. Right now. No more running around after him. Run after yourself with the same energy and good things will come your way.